Merry Kitschmas The Ultimate Holiday Handbook

by Medilek, Peter; Medilek, Peter; Conway, Michael

• ISBN13: 9780811842112
• ISBN10: 0811842118
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2004-09-23
• Publisher: Chronicle Books

Summary

Rejoice in the gaudiest gifts of the season withMerry Kitschmas, a glorious inspirational guide for Santa's hapless and hopeless little helpers. Sure to awaken fond memories of a tackier, spanglier time, the dazzling decorating ideas in these pages put theho ho ho(or theoh, oh, oh) back into the holidays. Send tastebuds tripping on a sentimental journey with the delicious Yes You Can! straight-from-the-can-to-the-table Kitschmas feast. Dee-licious! Save a tree, and set the house aglow with a glittering aluminum White Trash Christmas Tree. And finally bring those nagging carolers that Frigging Figgy Pudding they've been yapping on about for decades.Merry Kitschmasprovides a sleighful of holiday inspiration for anyone itching to craft with fruitcake, frolic in a tree skirt, and wow the neighbors with a spectacular lawn lighting fantasia. So, don you now your gay apparel -- it's beginning to look a lot like Kitschmas!

Author Biography

Michael D. Conway is the founder of Atlas Design, a stationery company best known for their "Martha Seward's White Trash Christmas" cards. He is a writer, designer, and performer. One of his claims to fame is that he played the pretentious kleptomaniac hou

Peter Medilek is a New York based photographer and has contributed to several cookbooks and magazines.

Table of Contents

A Few Thoughts on Kitschmas	p. 10
Oh, Kitschmas Tree, Oh Kitschmas Tree!
I'm Dreaming of a White-Trash Kitschmas	p. 14
Happy Huladays Tree	p. 17
Valley of the Dolls Tree	p. 21
Handy His-and-Her Tree	p. 23
The Tree of the Future	p. 26
Jingle Ball and Weenie Trees	p. 29
Deck the Halls (and Walls and Daais and Flaais) with Lotsa Tchotchkes! Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Kitschmas Wreaths	p. 34
Too Tired Wreath	p. 34
Have Your Elves a Merry Little Kitschmas Wreath	p. 34
A Wreath of Franklins	p. 38
The Urban Legend Fruitcake Wreath	p. 38
Berry White Wreath	p. 39
He Sees You When You're Sleeping Night-Light	p. 42
Naughty and Nice Stockings	p. 45
The Bad Girl's Ho Ho Ho Stocking	p. 47
The Manipulative Parent's Reversible Stocking	p. 47
NASDAQ Stock-ing	p. 47
The Judy Garland	p. 48
No Room at the Inn Lighting Extravaganza	p. 50
Junk For Joy!	p. 53
Bring the Kitsch Out of the Kitchen, It's Time to Eat!
Yes You Can, It's Kitschmas!	p. 58
Kitschy Cola Canned Ham, Ya Ya	p. 60
Can-do Caramelized Potatoes	p. 61
Tiny Tim's Teensy Feast	p. 62
Tiny Tim's Turkey	p. 64
Holly Golightly's Breakfast at Tiffany's	p. 65
Single Girl's Champagne Bucket	p. 67
Figgy Pudding and Other Desseits of Kitschmas Past
What a Bunch of Fruitcakes!	p. 70
Your Basic Fruitcake	p. 72
The Vegetarian Fruitcake	p. 75
The Certifiable Fruitcake	p. 75
The Paranoid Fruitcake	p. 75
The Closet Fruitcake	p. 76
That Toothless Cousin Fruitcake	p. 76
Here's Your Frigging Pudding	p. 78
Mincemeaty Pye	p. 80
Gee Whiz Gelatin	p. 82
Get into the Kitschmas Spirits!
... and a Partridge in a Pear Tree	p. 88
Santa's Little Helper	p. 90
Frosty the Chocoholic Snowman	p. 91
The Sugarplum Fairy	p. 93
Santa's Hot Buttered Rum Balls	p. 94
Office Kitschmas Party Punch	p. 97
Yellow Snow Cone	p. 99
Kitschmas Jigglepolitan	p. 102
Rudolph the Rehab Reindeer's Nose	p. 105
Don We Now Our Gay Apparel!
Why do You Think They Call It a Tree Skirt?	p. 108
Protective Plastic Eating Poncho	p. 109
Merry Janes	p. 110
Fashion Statement Sweatshirts	p. 112
Kitschmas Koiffures!	p. 115
Let It FRO, Let It FRO, Let It FRO	p. 115
Hark! The Farrah Angel Wings!	p. 117
That Kissmas Girl!	p. 117
Kitschmas Tree Hive	p. 117
Merry Kitschmas to All, and to All a Good Night!	p. 119
Table of Equivalents	p. 120
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.