Messages from Within: Finding Meaning in Your Life Experiences

by O'malley, Kathleen, Dc

• ISBN13: 9781452544502
• ISBN10: 1452544506
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2012-02-07
• Publisher: Author Solutions

Excerpts

Introduction "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be." –Douglas Adams I was blessed with a photographic memory. This gift made it easy for me to begin reading at the age of three. I can now see how words were like nourishment to my soul, fueling my desire not only for knowledge, but also for true understanding. From an early age, I was a seeker. I wanted to know how it all began. Where did I truly come from? What is the meaning of my life? As I recall, I would get glimpses. But as hard as I tried, my young mind was not able to conceive it fully. I was not yet opento receiving the truths that resided deep within me. I was a Biology major in my fourth year at Rutgers University when I was first introduced to Chiropractic. Almost instinctively, there was a knowing that this was the path that I was meant to take. Up until that time, my intent was to attend Medical School. I was volunteering at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey when I first heard my heart whisper, Maybe this is a mistake? I would walk into the room of a severely injured patient and my heart would break. I could feel it. I was very sensitive to the pain and suffering of others. In fact, my desire to heal others was born out of pain, although directed by love. I had the right grades, but I was not sure if I had the heart. There was also something mystical about being able to help others through the use of my hands. So, I became a Chiropractor at the age of twenty-six. I left Chiropractic School with not only a degree and a mission of helping others to heal, but also with my future husband. We relocated to his hometown in Massachusetts, were married, opened a Chiropractic Wellness Center, bought a home and had our first daughter. The song for this period of my life was indeed, Walking on Sunshine . I was crystal clear about what I wanted in my life and believed in my amazing power to co-create whatever my heart desired. This strong belief began in early childhood. I was not raised in a home with religious practices. My parents did not share openly their spiritual beliefs. Yet, I had a deep connection to God. He was a loving presence in my life. Somehow, I came to know that he would answer my prayers. I can recall being on a very small plane at about the age of ten. There were only six passengers. I was traveling with my mom and my younger siblings. There was a couple seated ahead of us. From where I was sitting, I could even see the pilot. We were caught in the middle of a terrible storm. Strong winds seemed to whip our airplane about. The woman began to cry out. I could see the fear in everyone's faces. I too was very afraid. So, I did the only thing I knew to do. I prayed. We landed safely. Wow, I thought. It worked. I got us here. But, I still remembered to thank God. There were other tangible answers to prayer which deepened my trust in the goodness of life. I could achieve anything through prayer, I thought. Then one day, life appeared to steer away from my well-crafted plan. My plan was to have two children, but Life had alternate plans. I wrote in an email to a friend on January 18, 2010: I will forever be a mother of nine souls. Four of their hearts, I have heard beating. I have held three of them close and looked upon their faces. And one of them, God has placed within my care, for now. "What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger," I have often heard, but never found helpful. I agree that great courage can emerge out of pain and suffering, however, there is a process to becoming stronger. It often requires effort and guidance to stop the spinning, orient yourself, and reach beyond the hurt. At times you have to dig really... really...really deep to find that strength. I am reminded of an adage told to me by a loving woman, one of my teachers, who appeared in the midst of my pain. A man was given a tree to be planted. His first inclination was to give the tree plenty of water. He was told, "No." Give it only a little, so that the roots can go deep in search of water. While roots do not necessarily grow towards water, they do in fact grow where there is water . Even in unpromising conditions with minimal water supply, they are able to burrow their way through the darkness of the soil, absorbing all that nourishes them. They manage to find their way around and through various obstacles, even changing direction when necessary. This best describes the current part of my journey. I have traveled through much darkness and I am finding my way through. My faith, life-giving relationships, my personal growth as a result of re-education and reflective writing were all like a source of "water," allowing me to go deep within to the very depths of my inner being. It is here that I unexpectedly found my answer. It was not a rationalized thought or reliable explanation, but rather a gentle awareness...Each of these lives conceived were all meant to be a part of me and my journey to becoming who I was created to be. I was to be and will always be their mother, no matter the duration of their lives. I have been broken open to receive the messages that awaited me. Amazing Grace is now the song my heart sings for now I can clearly see. This book is about how I got to this point. At first, I thought I was writing for other women who had experienced the pain of birth loss and were struggling to find their way to acceptance. Now, I realize that I am writing for anyone who has ever cried out, Okay God, I'm doing the best I can. What's the message? What am I not getting here? Over time, I came to realize that there was so much more that I was meant to be and do with my life. It wasn't just about what I wanted for my life. What I had forgotten is that God had first chosen me—that I was created for a specific purpose and a part of a greater whole. This became clear in a guided group meditation one evening. I write about this revelation in Chapter 10. This has truly been a journey to a richer way of being in this world. A mazing Grace is not just my story. I am not the only being to ever live this. Each and every life on this blessed Earth is a messenger with a gift for the rest of humanity. We are all an expression of Divine love. And, with all of Life's mystery, the answers do lie within. My intention is that this book enables you to journey within and see the underlying order in your own life. At the end of each chapter, I share messages that have been revealed to me. My prayer is that these messages be a blessing to you and to your loved ones. My hope is that this book inspires you to be all that you have been created to be. May you know that God's peace and love has always been and will always be within you.