My Boys Can Swim! The Official Guy's Guide to Pregnancy

by DAVIS, IAN

• ISBN13: 9780761521679
• ISBN10: 0761521674
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 1999-09-22
• Publisher: Crown

Summary

FinallyA Pregnancy Book That Won't Put Men to Sleep My Boys Can Swim!tells real men everything they really want to know about pregnancy, such as: How much is it going to cost? Why does your wife primp before seeing her doctor when she hasn't put a stitch of make-up on for you in months? And, most important, what's it going to do to your sex life? This rollicking, laugh-out-loud book is for expectant dads in search of bottom-line pregnancy information, without all that boring touchy-feely stuff you find in those books written for women. Inside you'll discover helpfuland hilariousinformation and insights on such topics as: The Maternity Wardrobe:"A key part of the maternity wardrobe is maternity underwearparachute-like undies big enough to fit an NFL defensive lineman." Baby Names:"Don't give your kids mockable names like Thaddeus, which is Greek for 'I'm a dork and should be beaten up.'" The Birth:"No one told me it's normal that babies' heads can be misshapen at birth. I was convinced that my wife gave birth to Veldar, the conehead."

Author Biography

New father <b>Ian Davis</b> is a lobbyist in Washington, D.C., for a Fortune 500 company.

Table of Contents

Introduction	p. xi
The First Trimester (0 to 3 Months)	p. 1
Mission Impossible	p. 3
Health Insurance: Like a Good Neighbor or a Bad Dream	p. 5
What's in a Name?	p. 7
C'mon Up Chuck	p. 14
Move Over Dolly Parton	p. 18
The World's Greatest Excuse	p. 20
The Second Trimester (4 to 6 Months)	p. 21
"Everyone's Getting Fat Like Mama Cass"	p. 23
Same Stadium, Different Playing Field	p. 25
No Pain, No Gain	p. 29
The OB/GOD	p. 29
Common Medical Tests	p. 30
Cop a Feel	p. 33
Sex Starved or Sex Kitten?	p. 34
Maternity Attire	p. 36
Blazing Saddles	p. 39
The Joy of "Regifting"	p. 40
The Third Trimester (7 Months to Delivery)	p. 43
Bankrupt Over Baby Stuff	p. 45
"Let's All Hold Hands and Sing 'Kumbaya'": Those Dreaded Baby Classes	p. 49
In Search of Marcus Welby, M.D.	p. 54
The Invisible Man	p. 57
Baby Ex-Lax	p. 60
The Vital Signs	p. 60
Show Time!	p. 63
Check In/Check Out	p. 65
Mother Teresa	p. 68
Riding the Wave	p. 69
The Mother of All Shots: The Epidural	p. 70
The Only Day She'll Pray to Be Constipated	p. 72
You Have to Go Through Hell Before You Get to Heaven	p. 73
Where's My Reward?	p. 79
The Fun Begins!	p. 80
Things No One Tells You About the Post-Delivery Experience	p. 83
Slice and Dice	p. 84
Final Words	p. 84
Epilogue	p. 87
Acknowledgments	p. 91
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