Nation's Favourite: Comic Poems

by Jones, Griff Rhys

• ISBN13: 9780563384519
• ISBN10: 0563384514
• Edition: Paperback
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 1998-09-24
• Publisher: BBC Physical Audio

Summary

This wonderful anthology contains some of the nation's all time favourite comic verse. From much-loved classics such as Lewis Carroll's curious 'Jabberwocky' to lesser known and forgotten gems such as Gelett Burgess's 'The Purple Cow', Griff Rhys Jones takes us on a poetic tour of the witty, the nonsensical and the plain laugh-out-loud funny. The selection brings together poets from every age and every walk of life, from Shakespeare to Victoria Wood and from Keats to Benjamin Zephaniah. There is Roald Dahl's cunning variation on 'Little Red Riding Hood', Spike Milligan's brilliantly ridiculous 'On the Ning Nang Nong' as well as several entries from the ever-elusive Anon, including one delightfully succint 'Peas'. Remebered, half-remembered, cherished or written on a tea towel, here are some of the nation's favourite comic poems.

Table of Contents

Foreword	9	(4)
Coffee in Heaven	13	(1)
John Agard
Please Mrs Butler	14	(1)
Allan Ahlberg
On Mary Ann	15	(1)
Anon
On a Tired Housewife	16	(1)
Spring in the Bronx	17	(1)
The Crimes of Lizzie Borden	18	(1)
I Have a Gentle Cock	19	(1)
She Was Poor But She Was Honest	20	(2)
If All the World Were Paper	22	(1)
Peas	23	(1)
The Pig	24	(1)
Give Me a Doctor	25	(1)
W. H. Auden
Note on Intellectuals	26	(1)
Sling Another Chair Leg on the Fire, Mother	27	(2)
Pam Ayres
Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth	29	(2)
I Had a Duck-billed Platypus	31	(2)
Patrick Barrington
It's a Great Big Shame	33	(2)
Edgar Bateman
from Old Surrey Saws and Sayings (`A red sky at night')	35	(1)
Sir Max Beerbohm
Matilda Who Told Lies, and Was Burned to Death	36	(2)
Hilaire Belloc
Rebecca Who Slammed Doors for Fun and Perished Miserably	38	(1)
Henry King Who Chewed Bits of String, and Was Early Cut Off in Dreadful Agonies	39	(1)
Lord Finchley	40	(1)
The Frog	41	(1)
Clerihews	42	(2)
E.C. Bentley
How to Get On in Society	44	(1)
Sir John Betjeman
A Subaltern's Love-song	45	(2)
Hunter Trials	47	(1)
The Bloody Orkneys	48	(1)
Captain Hamish Blair
Ducks Don't Shop in Sainsburys	49	(1)
Gary Boswell
Doctor Fell	50	(1)
Tom Brown
The Purple Cow	51	(1)
Gelett Burgess
Father William	52	(2)
Lewis Carroll
The Walrus and the Carpenter	54	(4)
Jabberwocky	58	(1)
Speak Roughly to Your Little Boy	59	(1)
from The Hunting of the Snark (Fit the First: The Landing)	60	(4)
Bloody Men	64	(1)
Wendy Cope
Lonely Hearts	65	(1)
nobody loses all the time	66	(2)
E.E. Cummings
may i feel said he	68	(2)
St Ives	70	(1)
Roald Dahl
Hot and Cold	71	(1)
Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf	72	(2)
A Hand in the Bird	74	(1)
Alternative Endings to an Unwritten Ballad	75	(1)
Paul Dehn
Song	76	(1)
John Donne
Tullynoe: Tete-a-Tete in the Parish Priest's Parlour	77	(1)
Paul Durcan
The Lion and Albert	78	(3)
Marriott Edgar
Bustopher Jones: The Cat About Town	81	(2)
T.S. Eliot
Macavity: The Mystery Cat	83	(2)
The Black Box	85	(1)
Gavin Ewart
The Hippopotamus Song	86	(2)
Michael Flanders
The Nightmare	88	(3)
W.S. Gilbert
L'Enfant Glace	91	(1)
Harry Graham
Opportunity	92	(1)
Stately as a Galleon	93	(2)
Joyce Grenfell
Malcolm	95	(1)
John Hegley
In the Arms of My Glasses	96	(1)
A Comparison of Logs and Dogs	97	(1)
Old Sam	98	(2)
Stanley Holloway
The Shades of Night	100	(1)
A. E. Housman
To a Fish	101	(1)
Leigh Hunt
A Fish Answers	101	(1)
The Common Cormorant	102	(1)
Christopher Isherwood
The Book of My Enemy Has Been Remaindered	103	(2)
Clive James
Warning	105	(1)
Jenny Joseph
All These Are Vile	106	(1)
John Keats
To Someone Who Insisted I Look Up Someone	107	(1)
X.J. Kennedy
The Owl and the Pussy-cat	108	(1)
Edward Lear
The Courtship of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo	109	(4)
Limericks	113	(1)
The Pobble Who Has No Toes	114	(2)
The Akond of Swat	116	(3)
Cake	119	(1)
Roger McGough
Stink	120	(1)
Survivor	121	(1)
Bagpipe Music	122	(2)
Louis Macneice
On the Ning Nang Nong	124	(1)
Spike Milligan
Father Thames	125	(1)
Bump!	126	(1)
The King's Breakfast	127	(3)
A.A. Milne
Celia Celia	130	(1)
Adrian Mitchell
Just in Case	131	(2)
Charlotte Mitchell
On Taking a Wife	133	(1)
Thomas Moore
Song of the Open Road	134	(1)
Ogden Nash
Curl Up and Diet	135	(2)
One Perfect Rose	137	(1)
Dorothy Parker
Hair Today, No Her Tomorrow	138	(2)
Brian Patten
Epigram	140	(1)
Alexander Pope
Wishes of an Elderly Man, Wished at a Garden Party, June 1914	141	(1)
Sir Walter Raleigh
Chocolate Cake	142	(5)
Michael Rosen
The Cremation of Sam McGee	147	(3)
Robert W. Service
My Mistress' Eyes are Nothing Like the Sun	150	(1)
William Shakespeare
A Sea Song (from The Tempest)	151	(1)
A True and Faithful Inventory of the Goods Belonging to Dr. Swift, Vicar of Lara Cor: upon lending his House to the Bishop of Meath, until his own was built	152	(1)
Thomas Sheridan
Recipe for a Salad	153	(1)
Sydney Smith
Casey at the Bat	154	(2)
Ernest Lawrence Thayer
Lines on the Death of Chairman Mao	156	(1)
E.J. Thribb
In Memoriam Uffa Fox	157	(1)
King Charles II	158	(1)
John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester
`You cannot hope...'	159	(1)
Humbert Wolfe
Saturday Night	160	(3)
Victoria Wood
Sergeant Brown's Parrot	163	(1)
Kit Wright
Talking Turkeys!!	164	(2)
Benjamin Zephaniah
Acknowledgements	166	(3)
Index of Poets' Names	169	(3)
Index of First Lines	172