Necessary Losses : The Loves Illusions Dependencies and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have

by Viorst, Judith

• ISBN13: 9780684844954
• ISBN10: 0684844958
• Edition: Reprint
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 1998-01-05
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Summary

The Bestselling Classic on Love, Loss, and Letting GoInNecessary Losses,Judith Viorst turns her considerable talents to a serious and far-reaching subject: how we grow and change through the losses that are an inevitable and necessary part of life. She argues persuasively that through the loss of our mothers' protection, the loss of the impossible expectations we bring to relationships, the loss of our younger selves, and the loss of our loved ones through separation and death, we gain deeper perspective, true maturity, and fuller wisdom about life. She has written a book that is both life affirming and life changing.

Author Biography

Judith Viorst is the author of nine collections of poetry, including Suddenly Sixty and Other Shocks of Later Life, and six books of prose, including the just-published Grown-Up Marriage. She has also written fourteen children's books, among them the classic Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. A graduate of the Washington Psychoanalytic Institute, she is the recipient of various awards for her journalism and psychological writings. She lives in Washington, D.C., with her husband, political writer Milton Viorst. They have three sons and, so far, four grandchildren.

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION	15	(6)
PART I THE SEPARATE SELF	21	(62)
Chapter 1 The High Cost of Separation	21	(13)
Chapter 2 The Ultimate Connection	34	(9)
Chapter 3 Standing Alone	43	(8)
Chapter 4 The Private "I"	51	(15)
Chapter 5 Lessons in Love	66	(17)
PART II THE FORBIDDEN AND THE IMPOSSIBLE	83	(78)
Chapter 6 When Are You Taking That New Kid Back to the Hospital?	83	(17)
Chapter 7 Passionate Triangles	100	(15)
Chapter 8 Anatomy and Destiny	115	(15)
Chapter 9 Good as Guilt	130	(12)
Chapter 10 Childhood's End	142	(19)
PART III IMPERFECT CONNECTIONS	161	(76)
Chapter 11 Dreams and Realities	161	(9)
Chapter 12 Convenience Friends and Historical Friends and Crossroads and Cross-Generational Friends and Friends Who Come When You Call at Two in the Morning	170	(15)
Chapter 13 Love and Hate in the Married State	185	(20)
Chapter 14 Saving the Children	205	(18)
Chapter 15 Family Feelings	223	(14)
PART IV LOVING, LOSING, LEAVING, LETTING GO	237	(92)
Chapter 16 Love and Mourning	237	(28)
Chapter 17 Shifting Images	265	(19)
Chapter 18 I Grow Old...I Grow Old	284	(21)
Chapter 19 The ABC of Dying	305	(20)
Chapter 20 Reconnections	325	(4)
NOTES AND ELABORATIONS	329	(84)
BIBLIOGRAPHY	413	(19)
INDEX	432