Negaholics : How to Overcome Negativity and Turn Your Life Around

by CARTER-SCOTT, CHERIE

• ISBN13: 9780345438997
• ISBN10: 034543899X
• Format: Trade Paper
• Copyright: 1999-10-12
• Publisher: Wellspring/Ballantine

Summary

"Easy to read with plenty of case studies and fine advice." Milwaukee Journal Do you sometimes focus on all time times you blew it and things didn't work out? Do you often find yourself expecting the worst so as not to be disappointed? When friends compliment you, do you brush it off, dismiss it, or look for an ulterior motive? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you could be a Negaholic -- and ready to find help and hope in this book. From the Paperback edition.

Author Biography

Cherie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., author of the #1 New York Times bestseller If Life Is a Game, These Are the Rules, is a corporate trainer and management consultant. As chairperson of the Motivation Management Service Institute, she has worked with more than 200,000 people worldwide, leading seminars on self-esteem, communication and leadership skills, and team building. Cherie lives in Nevada with her family.

Table of Contents

Introduction	p. xv
Negaholism	p. 3
Are You a Negaholic?
Danny and the Morning Blahs
Waking Up to the War
The "I Can/I Can't" Game
The Takeover of the "I Can'ts"
Why Is the Syndrome Called "Negaholic"?
Negaholism Takes Four Different Forms
The Broad Range of Attitudinal Negaholism
The Perfectionist
The Never-Good-Enough Person
The Slave Driver
Negaholic Behaviors in Three Dimensions
The Procrastinator
The Pattern Repeater
Nina and the Candy Bars
The Never-Measure-Up Person
Mental Negaholism in Daily Life
The Constant Critic
The Comparing Contestant
The Retroactive Fault-Finder
The Premature Invalidator
When Verbal Negaholics Run Wild
The Beartrapper
The Constant Complainer
The Herald of Disaster
The Gloom and Doomer
Self-Sabotage, or Shooting Yourself in the Foot
How It All Happened	p. 40
What Did You Do to Deserve This?
Loyalty Above All Else
An Unconscious Loyalty Toward Your Parents
Selective Amnesia Regarding Past Incidents
Rose-Colored Glasses Are Used in Hindsight
Your True Feelings Were Often Denied or Suppressed
The Origin of Negaholism
The History of Negaholics
The Roots of the Tree
Don't Leave Me!
What About Me?
The Honeymoon Is Over
Turning Princes into Frogs
In Search of the Tragic Flaw
Do You Really Love Me? Prove It
Co-Creation: The Cure-All
Welcome to Your Dysfunctional Home
You Did It, You Are to Blame!
The Layers of the Onion Skin
The Perpetuation of the Self-Tormenting Cycle
The Puzzle of Parenting
The Power of Choice
Sorry, No Dress Rehearsal for This Show!
The Inheritance
The Seven Characteristics of a Dysfunctional Family
Dysfunctional Families Produce Negaholics
Stress and Addictive Behavior	p. 71
The Trauma of Our Technological Times
What Is Stress?
What Produces Stress?
Temporary Relief
The Reese's Rush
Getting a Kick and Getting Kicked in the End
Peeking Underneath the Behavior
Triggers of How I Was Supposed to Be
Where Do Addictions Originate?
The Addictive Personality Traits
The Key Elements Which Underlie All Addictive Behavior
Why Do You Become Addicted?
To Feel or Not To Feel	p. 92
Barbara's Breakthrough
Ceil's Choices
Don't Rock the Boat
Feeling Left Out Hurts Just as Much as It Used To
Feelings Are Not Thoughts
Creative Case-Building
Barometers and Signals
Feelings Are Purposeful
When You Play Hooky on Your Feelings
Designer Feelings
Feelings Are the Lights on the Dashboard of Life
Tell Me/I Don't Want to Know
Relief Is Just a Puff, Bite, Zzzzz Away
The Game of "Gotch Ya"
Society Looks Down Its Nose
Embarrassment Reigns and Terrorizes
The Five Steps to the Successful Management of Emotions
The Secret Ledger of the Subconscious
Forgotten Feelings Feed the Negaholic
The Voices Within	p. 115
What Are the Voices?
Identifying Internal Voices
The Choice: Train, Negotiate, or Evict
Elena, the Workaholic
Where Do the Voices Come From?
Internal Voice Management
Internal Casting and Scripting
The Disowned Selves
Be On the Alert For	p. 133
The Anatomy of Self-Torment
A Sneak Attack from Behind
In Search of Upsets, Problems, and Worries
Life's Getting Too Good, Let's Screw It Up
Woe Is Me, What Can the Matter Be?
Help! I Can't Find My Feelings
The Fear Takeover
The "Yeah-Buts" on the Heels of Choice
I Can't Talk to Anyone, I'm Too Embarrassed
Toss Me a Life Preserver, I'm Going Under!
The Antidotes To the Beat-up Syndrome	p. 144
Believing in Yourself
One Acknowledgment a Day ...
Good News/Bad News List
Pats on the Cheek
Managing Daily Stress
Self-Questioning to Get to the Source
Mood Alterators
Reframing to Make Everything Right
There's Got to Be a Pony
Rewriting Your Childhood
Management by Fear
Management by Participation
Self-Management
Motivation Through Choice
The Beater-Meter
"HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"
Self-Trust
What to Do When the Trust Is Gone
Building a Case List
Motivation by Aspiring to Be Your Best Self
The Forgiveness Letter
A Declaration of Selfhood
Ritualizing Events
Mind Dialoguing to Get Off the Fence
Journal Keeping
Nurtures
The Standard/Reality Gap
The Punching-Bag Relationship
The Hall of Mirrors in Relationships
Let Things and People Be Who and What They Are
Don't Think, Do!
Using Your Body to Manage Your Mind
Letting the Child Within Out to Play
Keeping Your Sense of Humor
A Commitment to Making Myself Right, No Matter What
Additional Tools for Critical Moments	p. 191
Emergency Measures
Help!
How to Conduct an Attitude Adjustment
Use Panic Creatively
Pulverizing a Panic Attack
This Is a Job for the Good Fairy
Designing Your Own Fire Drill
Do It Right
One Day at a Time
The Practical Use of Prayer
The Pitfalls of Prayer
Counting Your Blessings
Maneuvering Out of the Muck and Mire
Reaching Out to Others
Overcoming Embarrassment
The Need to Be Perfect
Murmur a Mantra
Using Positive Triggers as a Tap on the Shoulder
The Power of Choice
How to Get the Fun Back in Life When You've Lost It
Maybe It's Behind the Mayonnaise?
What Do You Do If You Get No Messages at All?
Listen To Your Inner Wisdom	p. 208
Spiritual DNA, the Inner Guide
Listen for the Bong
A Message to Move
The Message Is the Medium: It Gets You Unstuck
Go Stand on the Corner!
The Lord Will Save Me!
Messages Will Knock You Down If They Have To
Messages Come Through Loud and Clear
Messages Aren't Always What They Appear
Creative Messages
The Message Center Generates Magic
The Supposed-to Shuffle
Using the Message Game as a Bludgeon
Battling the Messages
The Road To Recovery	p. 227
Positive Self-Regard
Self-Trust
Recruiting a Support Team
The Management of Change
Living the Process
The Achievement of Serenity
Appendices
Resources	p. 237
The Twelve Steps	p. 238
Suggested Reading List	p. 240
Bibliography	p. 240
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