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What is included with this book?
Introduction | p. xv |
Negaholism | p. 3 |
Are You a Negaholic? | |
Danny and the Morning Blahs | |
Waking Up to the War | |
The "I Can/I Can't" Game | |
The Takeover of the "I Can'ts" | |
Why Is the Syndrome Called "Negaholic"? | |
Negaholism Takes Four Different Forms | |
The Broad Range of Attitudinal Negaholism | |
The Perfectionist | |
The Never-Good-Enough Person | |
The Slave Driver | |
Negaholic Behaviors in Three Dimensions | |
The Procrastinator | |
The Pattern Repeater | |
Nina and the Candy Bars | |
The Never-Measure-Up Person | |
Mental Negaholism in Daily Life | |
The Constant Critic | |
The Comparing Contestant | |
The Retroactive Fault-Finder | |
The Premature Invalidator | |
When Verbal Negaholics Run Wild | |
The Beartrapper | |
The Constant Complainer | |
The Herald of Disaster | |
The Gloom and Doomer | |
Self-Sabotage, or Shooting Yourself in the Foot | |
How It All Happened | p. 40 |
What Did You Do to Deserve This? | |
Loyalty Above All Else | |
An Unconscious Loyalty Toward Your Parents | |
Selective Amnesia Regarding Past Incidents | |
Rose-Colored Glasses Are Used in Hindsight | |
Your True Feelings Were Often Denied or Suppressed | |
The Origin of Negaholism | |
The History of Negaholics | |
The Roots of the Tree | |
Don't Leave Me! | |
What About Me? | |
The Honeymoon Is Over | |
Turning Princes into Frogs | |
In Search of the Tragic Flaw | |
Do You Really Love Me? Prove It | |
Co-Creation: The Cure-All | |
Welcome to Your Dysfunctional Home | |
You Did It, You Are to Blame! | |
The Layers of the Onion Skin | |
The Perpetuation of the Self-Tormenting Cycle | |
The Puzzle of Parenting | |
The Power of Choice | |
Sorry, No Dress Rehearsal for This Show! | |
The Inheritance | |
The Seven Characteristics of a Dysfunctional Family | |
Dysfunctional Families Produce Negaholics | |
Stress and Addictive Behavior | p. 71 |
The Trauma of Our Technological Times | |
What Is Stress? | |
What Produces Stress? | |
Temporary Relief | |
The Reese's Rush | |
Getting a Kick and Getting Kicked in the End | |
Peeking Underneath the Behavior | |
Triggers of How I Was Supposed to Be | |
Where Do Addictions Originate? | |
The Addictive Personality Traits | |
The Key Elements Which Underlie All Addictive Behavior | |
Why Do You Become Addicted? | |
To Feel or Not To Feel | p. 92 |
Barbara's Breakthrough | |
Ceil's Choices | |
Don't Rock the Boat | |
Feeling Left Out Hurts Just as Much as It Used To | |
Feelings Are Not Thoughts | |
Creative Case-Building | |
Barometers and Signals | |
Feelings Are Purposeful | |
When You Play Hooky on Your Feelings | |
Designer Feelings | |
Feelings Are the Lights on the Dashboard of Life | |
Tell Me/I Don't Want to Know | |
Relief Is Just a Puff, Bite, Zzzzz Away | |
The Game of "Gotch Ya" | |
Society Looks Down Its Nose | |
Embarrassment Reigns and Terrorizes | |
The Five Steps to the Successful Management of Emotions | |
The Secret Ledger of the Subconscious | |
Forgotten Feelings Feed the Negaholic | |
The Voices Within | p. 115 |
What Are the Voices? | |
Identifying Internal Voices | |
The Choice: Train, Negotiate, or Evict | |
Elena, the Workaholic | |
Where Do the Voices Come From? | |
Internal Voice Management | |
Internal Casting and Scripting | |
The Disowned Selves | |
Be On the Alert For | p. 133 |
The Anatomy of Self-Torment | |
A Sneak Attack from Behind | |
In Search of Upsets, Problems, and Worries | |
Life's Getting Too Good, Let's Screw It Up | |
Woe Is Me, What Can the Matter Be? | |
Help! I Can't Find My Feelings | |
The Fear Takeover | |
The "Yeah-Buts" on the Heels of Choice | |
I Can't Talk to Anyone, I'm Too Embarrassed | |
Toss Me a Life Preserver, I'm Going Under! | |
The Antidotes To the Beat-up Syndrome | p. 144 |
Believing in Yourself | |
One Acknowledgment a Day ... | |
Good News/Bad News List | |
Pats on the Cheek | |
Managing Daily Stress | |
Self-Questioning to Get to the Source | |
Mood Alterators | |
Reframing to Make Everything Right | |
There's Got to Be a Pony | |
Rewriting Your Childhood | |
Management by Fear | |
Management by Participation | |
Self-Management | |
Motivation Through Choice | |
The Beater-Meter | |
"HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM" | |
Self-Trust | |
What to Do When the Trust Is Gone | |
Building a Case List | |
Motivation by Aspiring to Be Your Best Self | |
The Forgiveness Letter | |
A Declaration of Selfhood | |
Ritualizing Events | |
Mind Dialoguing to Get Off the Fence | |
Journal Keeping | |
Nurtures | |
The Standard/Reality Gap | |
The Punching-Bag Relationship | |
The Hall of Mirrors in Relationships | |
Let Things and People Be Who and What They Are | |
Don't Think, Do! | |
Using Your Body to Manage Your Mind | |
Letting the Child Within Out to Play | |
Keeping Your Sense of Humor | |
A Commitment to Making Myself Right, No Matter What | |
Additional Tools for Critical Moments | p. 191 |
Emergency Measures | |
Help! | |
How to Conduct an Attitude Adjustment | |
Use Panic Creatively | |
Pulverizing a Panic Attack | |
This Is a Job for the Good Fairy | |
Designing Your Own Fire Drill | |
Do It Right | |
One Day at a Time | |
The Practical Use of Prayer | |
The Pitfalls of Prayer | |
Counting Your Blessings | |
Maneuvering Out of the Muck and Mire | |
Reaching Out to Others | |
Overcoming Embarrassment | |
The Need to Be Perfect | |
Murmur a Mantra | |
Using Positive Triggers as a Tap on the Shoulder | |
The Power of Choice | |
How to Get the Fun Back in Life When You've Lost It | |
Maybe It's Behind the Mayonnaise? | |
What Do You Do If You Get No Messages at All? | |
Listen To Your Inner Wisdom | p. 208 |
Spiritual DNA, the Inner Guide | |
Listen for the Bong | |
A Message to Move | |
The Message Is the Medium: It Gets You Unstuck | |
Go Stand on the Corner! | |
The Lord Will Save Me! | |
Messages Will Knock You Down If They Have To | |
Messages Come Through Loud and Clear | |
Messages Aren't Always What They Appear | |
Creative Messages | |
The Message Center Generates Magic | |
The Supposed-to Shuffle | |
Using the Message Game as a Bludgeon | |
Battling the Messages | |
The Road To Recovery | p. 227 |
Positive Self-Regard | |
Self-Trust | |
Recruiting a Support Team | |
The Management of Change | |
Living the Process | |
The Achievement of Serenity | |
Appendices | |
Resources | p. 237 |
The Twelve Steps | p. 238 |
Suggested Reading List | p. 240 |
Bibliography | p. 240 |
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