There Is Nothing Wrong With You for Teens

by Huber, Cheri; Shiver, June

• ISBN13: 9780963625595
• ISBN10: 0963625594
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2001-10-01
• Publisher: Keep It Simple Books

Summary

Based on surveys and interviews with hundreds of teenagers about what does and does not work in their lives, how they perceive the adult world they are about to enter, and what they want adults to know about them,There Is Nothing Wrong With You for Teensprovides communication techniques to empower teenagers to take the lead in the conversation that must happen between teens and adults.

Author Biography

Cheri Huber is the author of 19 books, including There Is Nothing Wrong with You, When You're Falling, Dive,and Time-Out for Parents. She founded the Mountain View Zen Center in Mountain View, California, and the Zen Monastery Practice Center in Murphys, California, and teaches in both communities. She travels widely and often, leading workshops and retreats around the United States and abroad, most recently in Costa Rica and Italy. She founded Living Compassion in 2003, a nonprofit group comprised of There Is Nothing Wrong With You Retreats (based on the book); Global Community for Peace: The Assisi Peace Project; The Africa Vulnerable Children Project; and Open Air Talk Radio, her weekly call-in radio show originating from Stanford University. She lives in Murphys, California.

Table of Contents

Surviving Childhood: Establishing A Strong, Early Foundation for Self-Hate	2	(7)
A Conversation with Teens	9	(7)
My Survival System Is Killing Me!	16	(4)
Self-Hate Is A Process	20	(6)
A Scam Self-Hate Loves to Run	26	(5)
Some of the Forms Self-Hate Takes	31	(4)
Some Voices and Gestures and Actions of Self-Hate	35	(2)
The Voices	37	(2)
Self-Hate Has Many Voices	39	(4)
Where Self-Hate Comes From	43	(1)
Socialization and Subpersonalities	44	(7)
Why Am I So Needy?	51	(3)
Conversation with Teens, Continued	54	(6)
Self-Hate Accounting: The ``Insufficient Funds'' Rule	60	(9)
Conversation with Teens, Continued	69	(4)
Constructive Criticism: Not Required	73	(2)
Common Wisdom that Supports Self-hate	75	(1)
Conflicting Beliefs that maintain self-hate	76	(1)
Conversation with Teens, Continued	77	(2)
Self-Evaluation: Another Unhelpful Idea	79	(1)
Conversation with Teens, continued	80	(1)
Investing in Misery	81	(2)
Self-Hate Accounting System	83	(3)
Self-Hate and The Battring Cycle	86	(8)
Unconditional Love	94	(2)
Conversation with Teens, Continued	96	(2)
Enjoy It All	98	(4)
Advantages of Ending Self-Hate	102	(4)
Nothing to Do	106	(4)
Gratitude	110	(2)
Self-Hate's Greatest Talent	112	(6)
Self-Hate and Addiction	118	(8)
Self-Hate is like quicksand	126	(1)
Compassion, No Matter What	127	(3)
Willingness Is the Key	130	(5)
The Voices: Listen, but Don't Believe	135	(2)
Learn to Be Present	137	(3)
The Most Frightening Thing in the World	140	(1)
Self-Hate: Everyone's Doing It!	141	(3)
What Is the Path?	144	(6)
Horrible Things (and I do mean horrible)	150	(2)
I Maintain My Identity	152	(5)
Conversation with Teens, Continued	157	(3)
It's No Wonder We Feel Inadequate	160	(1)
The Worst Thing That Could Happen	161	(2)
It is really quite miraculous	163	(3)
Nice and Polite	166	(1)
Fake It `Til You Make It	167	(2)
Stay with the Breath	169	(2)
Conversation with Teens, Continued	171	(1)
It's Okay to Feel Afraid?	172	(6)
It May Be True...	178	(5)
But I Could Make A Mistake!	183	(7)
A Definition of Suffering	190	(2)
Self-Hate and the Illusion of Control	192	(10)
Meditation Will Take Care of It	202	(3)
Beginning to Wake Up	205	(1)
A Solid Program for Ending Suffering	206	(3)
Who's Afraid of Me? I'm Afraid of Me!	209	(5)
Almost nobody wants to grow up	214	(4)
Two Old Zen Stories	218	(6)
You Can Have It All	224	(2)
Take Responsibility Today	226	(6)
We Have a Choice	232	(1)
Compassion, No Matter What	233	(2)
The Movements of the Mind	235	(1)
Miracles	236	(1)
Jesus said	237	(2)
Some Tools and Techniques	239	(4)
Compassionate Communication	243