Opening Up A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

by Taormino, Tristan

• ISBN13: 9781573442954
• ISBN10: 157344295X
• eBook ISBN(s): 9781573444972
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2008-05-01
• Publisher: Cleis Press
• More Book Details
• Purchase Benefits

Summary

Relationship expert and bestselling author Tristan Taormino shows readers how to create polyamorous relationships that are satisfying and fulfilling. With wise and practical advice, Taormino helps readers decide if polyamory is right for them, explains the different types of non-monogamy and offers options for transforming a monogamous relationship into a non-monagamous one. For those already exploring polyamory, Taormino offers realistic strategies for making it work, including tips on communication and conflict resolution, as well as candid interviews with polyamorous people.

Author Biography

Tristan Taormino is an American feminist author, columnist, sex educator, activist, editor, speaker, radio host, and pornographic film director.

Table of Contents

Introduction: Opening Up to the Possibilities: Challenging Monogamy and Revolutionizing Relationships	p. XIII
The Decline of Marriage and Monogamy
Monogamy's Mythology
Nonmonogamy as an Alternative Choice
My Research
Reading Opening Up
Choosing an Open Relationship
Pilots, Parties, and Polyamory: A Brief History	p. 1
Swinging
Open Marriage
Multilateral Marriage
Gay Bathhouses and Sex Clubs
Lesbian Collectives and Sex Wars
Polyamory
Myths about Nonmonogamy	p. 13
Is an Open Relationship for You?	p. 19
Self-evaluation
Why People Choose Open Relationships
What Makes an Open Relationship Work?	p. 33
Consent
Self-awareness
Communication
Honesty
Boundaries
Trust
Fidelity and Commitment
Styles of Open Relationships
Partnered Nonmonogamy	p. 51
Definition
Examples
Potential Issues and Conflicts
Swinging	p. 61
Definition
Beliefs and Attitudes
Swinging Styles
Community
Etiquette
Potential Issues and Conflicts
Polyamory	p. 71
Definition
Beliefs and Attitudes
Hierarchical Poly
Nonprimary Partners
Nonhierarchical Poly
Nonsexual Poly Relationships
Solo Polyamory	p. 87
Definition
Potential Issues and Conflicts
Polyfidelity	p. 95
Definition
Benefits of Polyfidelity
Negotiation and Potential Issues
Monogamous/Nonmonogamous and Mono/Poly Combinations	p. 111
Definition
Consent and Agreement
Potential Issues and Conflicts
Creating and Sustaining Your Relationships
Designing Your Open Relationship	p. 121
Drawing the Outline
Filling in the Details
Negotiation
Rules and Agreements
The Myth of Equality
The Relationship Contract
Jealousy and Other Intense Feelings	p. 153
Jealousy
Envy
Insecurity
Possessiveness
Feeling Excluded
Coping with Jealousy
Fear of Abandonment
Resentment
Compersion	p. 173
Common Challenges and Problems	p. 183
New Relationship Energy
Time Management
Miscommunication
Agreement Violation
Seeking Help
Opening Up Again: When Something Changes	p. 203
A New Desire
A New Orientation
A New Relationship
Falling in Love
From Monogamous to Nonmonogamous
From Nonmonogamous to Monogamous
From Primary To Nonprimary
Coping with Change
Coming Out (or Not), Finding Community, Creating Families	p. 227
Benefits of Coming Out
Risks of Coming Out
Deciding What's Right for You
Your Coming Out
Finding Community
Families, Tribes, and Networks
Raising Children	p. 249
Benefits and Risks of Coming Out to Children
What to Consider Before You Tell Them
How to Tell Them
Practical Issues
Safer Sex and Sexual Health	p. 263
Safer Sex
Sexually Transmitted Infections
Legal and Practical Issues	p. 285
Housing Laws
Property Ownership
Employment Benefits
Legal Designations and Documents
Children
The Future of Relationships	p. 295
Appendixes
Notes	p. 301
Resource Guide	p. 311
Books
Conferences and Events
GLBT/Queer
Local and Regional Organizations
National Organizations
Online Groups and Lists
Poly-friendly Professionals
Research and Activism
Spirituality
Websites
About the Interviewees	p. 337
About the Author	p. 345
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