Parenting : How to Raise Spiritually Healthy Kids

by Bill Hybels with Kevin and Sherry Harney

• ISBN13: 9780310265900
• ISBN10: 0310265908
• Edition: Revised
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2005-08-01
• Publisher: Zondervan

Summary

How do you hand the tough challenges of parenting?Parenting. Nothing gives us more joy-or greater challenges. "How do I balance my work and family time? What's the best way to handle my teenager's attitude? Can I do a better job of raising my kids?"Parenting helps you and your groups tackle the thorny issues parents face today. Each session covers a topic that's key to effective parenting, from raising well-balanced kids to overcoming the mistakes you make along the way. This practical, hands-on discussion guide helps you create a home where children can thrive. You'll develop confidence and competence in your God-entrusted role as a parent and enjoy watching your kids grow into vibrant, godly adults.Interactions-a powerful and challenging tool for building deep relationships between you and your group members, and you and God. Interactions is far more than another group Bible study. It's a cutting-edge series designed to help small group participants develop into fully devoted followers of Christ.

Table of Contents

Interactions	p. 7
Introduction: How to Raise Spiritually Healthy Kids	p. 9
To Be or Not to Be?	p. 11
Raising Whole Children	p. 19
Affirming Each Child's Uniqueness	p. 27
Mistakes Parents Make	p. 33
The Home as Trauma Center	p. 39
Teaching Faith in the Home	p. 47
Leader's Notes	p. 53
Table of Contents provided by Publisher. All Rights Reserved.

Excerpts

Parenting
Copyright © 1996 by Willow Creek Association
Previously published as Parenthood
Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530
ISBN-10: 0-310-26590-8
ISBN-13: 978-0-310-26590-0
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: New International
Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of
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Interior design by Rick Devon and Michelle Espinoza
Printed in the United States of America
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S E S S I O N 1 P A R E N T I N G
TO BE OR
NOT TO BE?
T H E B I G P I C T U R E
“When are you going to start having children?” That’s the
question so many couples hear after they get married. Friends
and family members sometimes even ask this question before
the couple is married. It seems marriage and children just go
together. Many people approach this topic with a built-in
presupposition that all those who get married are expected
and obligated to have children.
In recent years I have begun to struggle with this presupposition.
I have started to wonder if every married couple ought to
have children. In the past I have even spoken on this topic and
have written down some of my personal feelings about the
idea that all married couples ought to move naturally toward
having a family.
I found out firsthand how controversial this subject is after the
release of a book I wrote entitled Honest To God?. Buried in a
remote part of chapter seven, I just happened to mention that
maybe, because of the times we live in, it might be time for
married couples to think twice before starting a family.
Maybe it’s time to submit a decision of that magnitude to
careful prayer and thorough analysis before making plans to
get pregnant two years after the wedding. I even went so far as
to suggest that maybe, just maybe, there are valid reasons for
holding off on having children for a time. And quite possibly
there are some valid reasons why God would lead some
couples to decide not to have children at all.
Little did I know how many people would be upset by that
notion. Letters of protest began coming in. As I read the reasoning
behind some of those protests, I found myself more motivated
than ever to go on record as saying that parenthood might
not be for everybody. I also found myself moved to clearly state
that bringing children into today’s world is a decision that had
better involve a lot of sincere prayer and sober-mindedness.
A W I D E A N G L E V I E W
1. Respond to these statements:
There are some couples who should never have children.
We live in a day when serious prayer and reflection should
precede any couple’s decision to have children.
Marriage is about family. If a couple gets married, they
should plan to have children. That’s God’s design for marriages.
A B I B L I C A L P O R T R A I T
Read Colossians 3:18–21 2. In this passage we find words of challenge to family
members. Take a moment and put each challenge in
your own words.
v. 18—Wives…
v. 19—Husbands…
v. 20—Children…
v. 21—Fathers (Parents)…
What kind of a spirit would begin to develop in a family who
followed these biblical challenges?
3. Why are mutual submission and mutual love essential
between a husband and wife who are seeking to raise
healthy children?
What leads to, and what can hinder, mutual submission and
mutual love?
S H A R P E N I N G T H E F O C U S
Read Snapshot “Times Have Changed”
TIMES HAVE CHANGED
The world in which we raise children today is dramatically different than it was just one or two
decades ago. In the 1960s we sang “I want to hold your hand.” Today fifth graders sing “I want
your sex.” When I was a kid, Eddie Haskell on “Leave It to Beaver” was the rowdiest kid on television.
My mother would pull me aside and say, “Don’t ever hang around with guys like Eddie Haskell.
They’ll mess up your life.” Today you flip through the channels and are bombarded with programs
sensationalizing rape, incest, homosexuality, and satanic-inspired ritual murders. Times have changed.
4. What changes have you seen in the world since you
were a child in the following areas?
• The media (music, TV, and movies)
• Views of sexuality
• Respect for authority
• Substance abuse
• The importance of the family
5. How do these changes impact children growing
up today?
What personal fears or concerns do you experience as you
think of raising your own children?
Read Snapshot “Wounded Parents”
6. How were you wounded in your upbringing, and
how could this experience impact your ability to
effectively parent?
What steps have you taken to seek healing in this area of
woundedness?
What work remains to be done as you move forward?
Read Snapshot “Three Critical Questions”
THREE CRITICAL QUESTIONS
Because of the climate of our culture and world, we need to be prayerful and wise about having children.
Also, because many adults are still deeply wounded, we need to slow down and be discerning
before we jump into family life. To help in this process of evaluation and discernment, reflect on the
following three questions:
1. What are you doing to build your marriage so that it will last a lifetime?
2. What have you done to work through areas of your brokenness?
3. How would you gauge your level of commitment to paying the price of raising children?
Once you have prayerfully and honestly answered these questions you can look at parenting with a healthy and
responsible perspective.
WOUNDED PARENTS
Parents these days tend to be more wounded themselves than they were a generation ago. Surveys of
married couples between the ages of twenty and thirty-five reveal that alarming numbers of these
husbands and wives have come from divorced families, troubled families, and dysfunctional homes,
or were brought up by alcohol or drug abusers. Record numbers of husbands and wives have been
physically, emotionally, or sexually abused. As you might expect, these traumas tend to cause deep
wounds in the lives of husbands and wives. If those wounds are not treated carefully and not processed thoroughly,
they often end up infecting and poisoning the marriage relationship. And if children are already on the scene,
inevitably the toxicity of the parents’ wounds affects their lives as well.
7. Take time alone with your spouse to discuss the three
critical questions in the above Snapshot. Then come
back to the group and reflect on the additional questions
below.
What costs are involved in raising children in this day and age?

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Excerpted from Parenting: How to Raise Spiritually Healthy Kids by Bill Hybels, Hybels
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.