Parents Are Forever : A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming Successful Coparents after Divorce

by Thomas, Shirley

• ISBN13: 9780964637832
• ISBN10: 0964637839
• Edition: Revised
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2004-01-01
• Publisher: Springboard Pubns

Summary

Special advice for parents who never married. The book includes detailed suggestions for parents of infants. Healing from the wounds of divorce while you learn to co-parent your children. It provides a helpful and optimistic plan for restructuring your relationship with your former partner, for the well being of your child.

Author Biography

Shirley Thomas, PhD, is a psychologist in Colorado who has helped thousands of children and parents cope with separation and divorce. She emphasizes coparenting education in her work, and regularly consults with courts about the needs of children. First published in 1995, the revised edition of Parents Are Forever is widely used as a textbook in parenting classes about the needs of children to have two, cooperative parents in their lives after divorce.

Table of Contents

Introduction	1	(2)
Part 1 The Task Ahead	3	(34)
For Parents Who End a Marriage
For Parents Who Never Married
Recognizing the Parent Divorce as a Loss	5	(12)
Stages of Grief as They Relate to Separation
Understanding Blame
Grief in Adults
Grief in Children
Acknowledging that Conflict Hurts Children
Sharing Responsibility and Letting Go	17	(4)
Getting Past Marital Issues
Putting Your Child First	21	(8)
Identifying Stress Reactions
Analyzing Anger
Neutralizing Angry Feelings
Making a Commitment to Coparent	29	(8)
Parents Divorce, But Children Do Not
Mothers and Fathers Parent Differently
The Responsibility of Childcare Needs to be Shared
Parental Alienation
Part 2 The Restructured Family	37	(28)
Communicating With Your Child	39	(8)
Talking About Divorce
Listening for Feelings
Forming a Business Relationship	47	(10)
Bargaining
Reframing
Cognitive Dissonance
Refusals to Coparent
Abuse and Domestic Violence
Structuring the Coparent Meeting	57	(8)
What is a Coparent Meeting
Before the Divorce is Final
After the Divorce is Final
Rules of Procedure
Negotiation
Part 3 Creating a Parenting Plan	65	(74)
Learning the Guiding Principles	67	(4)
Minimize Loss
Make Small Changes
Make Gradual Changes
Completing the Coparent Checklist	71	(18)
Coparent Decisions
Completing the Agreement
Determining Parenting Time Patterns	89	(26)
Parenting Time Plans According to Age and Developmental Level
Other Factors to Consider
Suggested Routines
Time Sharing Difficulties
Transition Adjustment Reactions
Parenting Time Refusals
Customizing the Coparent Plan	115	(8)
One-on-One Time
Other Considerations
Making the Most of Parenting Time	123	(8)
Parenting Roles
Quality Parenting Time
Structuring Parenting Time
Long-Distance Parenting
Solving Common Problems	131	(8)
Communication Breakdowns
Emotional Exchanges
Money Problems
Disagreements About Discipline
When Chldren Come Between Parents
A Missing Parent Reappears
Stepfamiy Complications
Part 4 Living the Concept of Cooperative Parenting	139	(16)
Accepting a Less Than Perfect Result	141	(4)
Getting Help When You Need It	145	(6)
Mediation
Parent Coordination
Therapy
Keeping the Commitment to Coparenting	151	(4)
Visualizing Your Future
Recognizing the Joys of Harmony
Part 5 Communications Skills for Now and Forever	155	(18)
Parallel Parenting	156	(17)
Appendix Sample Parenting Plan	173	(6)
References	179