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Preface | p. xv |
Introductions | |
Commanders | p. 3 |
"It turned out the mayor of Danang was a double agent" | p. 3 |
"With all those choppers they seemed terribly strong" | p. 9 |
War Heroes | p. 12 |
"We were babes in arms in every way" | p. 12 |
"I was stuck in a tunnel for seven day" | p. 15 |
Paying the Price | p. 20 |
"They carried me the whole way back to the North" | p. 20 |
"That sand was probably the only thing that saved me" | p. 21 |
"All my ancestors are buried here" | p. 25 |
Where Is Vietnam? | p. 28 |
"I just thought I was going to Europe" | p. 28 |
"How can my country be at war and I don't know about it?" | p. 30 |
Beginnings (1945-64) | |
"History Is Not Made with Ifs" | p. 35 |
"These were not ragtag farmers" | p. 38 |
"The most atrocious conflict in human history" | p. 41 |
"Deliver Us from Evil" | p. 44 |
"The doctor who won the war in Indochina" | p. 47 |
"Tell 'em I'm not French before they lynch me" | p. 50 |
"If they're making maps, they're preparing for war" | p. 54 |
"Kick the Tires and Light the Fires" | p. 60 |
"It was like 'Terry and the Pirates.'" | p. 62 |
"You could smell the burning flesh" | p. 64 |
"There was one coup after another" | p. 72 |
"My cock lost the fight" | p. 76 |
"The Emperor Has No Clothes" | p. 79 |
"What's good for Peru is good for Vietnam" | p. 81 |
"Dissent which contradicted the public optimism was ignored" | p. 83 |
"Boy, you speak just like an American" | p. 84 |
"The Vietnamese had their own ideas" | p. 87 |
"Paradise Island" | p. 90 |
"We sent them all back with a generous gift package" | p. 90 |
"She divorced her second husband and waited for me" | p. 94 |
Escalations (1964-67) | |
Trails To War | p. 101 |
"The Truong Son jungle gave us life" | p. 103 |
"We came home hairless with ghostly white eyes" | p. 105 |
"I was their wife, their sister, their girlfriend" | p. 106 |
"You Want Me To Start World War III?" | p. 112 |
"This was crazy and deceitful policy making" | p. 115 |
"We could stop this war tomorrow" | p. 118 |
"He used the f-word more freely than a marine in boot camp" | p. 121 |
"Take the North Vietnamese city of Vinh hostage" | p. 124 |
Central Highlands | p. 128 |
"Man, if we're up against this, it's gonna be a long-ass year" | p. 130 |
"It approached the vicinity of the spiritual" | p. 135 |
"Sometimes I operated all night while the staff took turns pedaling the bicycle" | p. 138 |
From Civil Rights To Antiwar | p. 142 |
"They said I was guilty of treason and sedition" | p. 143 |
"When the call is made to free the Mississippi Delta ... I'll be the first one in line" | p. 146 |
"The Ultimate Protest" | p. 150 |
"It was like an arrow was shot from Norman's heart" | p. 150 |
Free-Fire Zone | p. 156 |
"A goddamn chopper was worth three times more than David" | p. 139 |
Triage | p. 162 |
"No draft board ever failed to meet its quotas" | p. 164 |
"The knife man" | p. 167 |
"We saved their lives, but what life?" | p. 170 |
"Being wounded was not considered the worst thing that could happen" | p. 175 |
Morale Boosters | p. 177 |
"I got a butterfly right on the butt. So that's my war story" | p. 179 |
"After they got the funk they went back and reloaded" | p. 184 |
"An artist can be as important in war as a soldier" | p. 186 |
"I can't believe the Donut Dollies got us to do that" | p. 188 |
"Nothing was more essential than our sandals" | p. 190 |
"I was president of my high school marching band" | p. 195 |
Air War | p. 200 |
"I had my notebook right there in the plane" | p. 202 |
"Good luck and good hunting" | p. 209 |
"Before I trained as a pilot I had never been in an airplane" | p. 212 |
"That was the first time I ever saw an American" | p. 215 |
"What would it be like to hide in a cave day after day for five years?" | p. 217 |
Prisoners of War (I) | p. 221 |
"I don't see how you've got a worse place than this" | p. 222 |
"They tried to make us say, 'Down with President Ho!'" | p. 228 |
"Friction against the wheel" | p. 231 |
Cameras, Books, and Guns | p. 238 |
"Go see what they did to those people with your money" | p. 240 |
"We had this idea that we were king of the fucking hill" | p. 243 |
"We didn't need a darkroom" | p. 247 |
"The counterculture was visible everywhere" | p. 250 |
"He lived to kill. He was like a real Ahab" | p. 253 |
"Whoever won, the people always lost" | p. 256 |
"Soul Brothers, what you dying for?" | p. 257 |
"We would write something and the magazine would ignore it if it wasn't upbeat" | p. 259 |
Antiwar Escalations | p. 262 |
"A rather grandiose sense that we were the stars and spear-carriers of history" | p. 265 |
"It was like Vietnam had somehow come all the way into our living rooms" | p. 268 |
"What? Meet separately with women?" | p. 274 |
"They Slept at Our House" | p. 279 |
"We fought for a separate South Vietnam, but there wasn't any South" | p. 279 |
The Turning Point (1968-70) | |
Tet | p. 285 |
"He asked me for directions to the police station" | p. 288 |
"Then--boom!--Tet comes along" | p. 290 |
"You're not safe in those cities" | p. 294 |
"I was living a double life" | p. 295 |
"We buried our own men right there" | p. 298 |
"Attack! Attack! Attack!" | p. 302 |
Memorial Day 1968 | p. 304 |
"He Was Only 19--Did You Know Him?" | p. 304 |
From Johnson to Nixon | p. 307 |
"Our only shot was to help Humphrey break away from Johnson" | p. 309 |
"Political conversion was the greatest aphrodisiac" | p. 313 |
"The palace guard" | p. 316 |
"You had to be pretty stupid to stay out in the countryside" | p. 319 |
"While we had the power, it turned out they had the will" | p. 321 |
"A Three-Square-Mile Piece of the United States" | p. 325 |
"It was like being in a minimum-security prison" | p. 325 |
Families at War | p. 328 |
"You will not be welcome here again" | p. 328 |
"Receiving a letter was a mixed blessing" | p. 330 |
"They told me I needed to choose between my country and my brother" | p. 332 |
"A sign this country has grown up will be when there is a memorial erected to the war resisters" | p. 334 |
"This nice young man from the FBI was here" | p. 340 |
"I was away from home for twenty-nine years" | p. 341 |
My Lai | p. 343 |
"They were butchering people" | p. 346 |
"The protable free-fire zone" | p. 349 |
"You Look Like a Gook" | p. 354 |
"Damn, I'm a gook" | p. 357 |
"I was thanking God they didn't have air support" | p. 362 |
"It sure as hell wasn't 'English Only' in Vietnam" | p. 366 |
"An Acute Lack of Forgetfulness" | p. 371 |
"Before the war, I was Miss Mary Poppins" | p. 371 |
"To get their ID cards, the girls had to go to bed with the police" | p. 374 |
From Cambodia to Kent State | p. 377 |
"Quitting wasn't heroic" | p. 380 |
"I think they pictured it as a kind of huge bamboo Pentagon" | p. 382 |
"As much as we hated the war on April 29, we hated it more on April 30" | p. 384 |
Endings (1970-75) | |
The End of the Tunnel | p. 393 |
"Even the tough guys ... caved in" | p. 397 |
"Kissinger did not trust anybody fully" | p. 402 |
"Vietnamization wasn't working any better than Americanization" | p. 407 |
"We Really Believed..." | p. 413 |
"God forbid my boss finds out I'm here" | p. 413 |
"Why should my son die for you country?" | p. 417 |
"The campus was turning into a celebration of Maoism" | p. 422 |
"Steve Sherlock, bronze star with a V" | p. 425 |
Watergate | p. 430 |
"We're eating our young" | p. 432 |
"Let's circle the wagons" | p. 436 |
"The World was Coming to an End" | p. 441 |
"The whole attitude was, stand back little brother, I'll take care of it" | p. 441 |
"All this area was Indian country" | p. 445 |
"I didn't know there was a bad war" | p. 449 |
"Everybody Thought We'd Won the War" | p. 456 |
"Reporters just kept writing as if it were Tet '68" | p. 456 |
Paris | p. 461 |
"I wouldn't buy a used car from that man" | p. 463 |
"The longest peace talks in history" | p. 465 |
"It wasn't a mistake, it was an inexplicable crime" | p. 468 |
Prisoners of War (II) | p. 470 |
"I read Anthony Adverse about four times" | p. 471 |
"The curriculum was designed to 'detoxicate' us" | p. 475 |
"Americans like conspiracies" | p. 480 |
"What mushroom do they think we were hatched under last week?" | p. 483 |
"The government wanted to control the POW/MIA movement" | p. 489 |
Collapse | p. 493 |
"There was classified confetti all over the trees" | p. 496 |
"We could either lose or tie, but not win" | p. 504 |
"The Merriment was Short-Lived" | p. 508 |
"The letters remain, but the senders are gone forever" | p. 508 |
Legacies (1975-) | |
Missing in Action | p. 515 |
"We saw so many parents crying for their lost children" | p. 515 |
"Why do you hate the Vietnamese?" | p. 517 |
War-Zone Childhoods | p. 520 |
"I never got there in time to capture an American pilot" | p. 520 |
"It's not worth my energy to lay blame on anybody" | p. 522 |
"People just disappeared and you didn't say anything" | p. 526 |
Silences | p. 529 |
"I didn't want her to worry, so I lied" | p. 529 |
"Your real self was only for you" | p. 530 |
"I just want to know what happened" | p. 532 |
Souvenirs | p. 534 |
"They bought Zippos as a kind of birth certificate" | p. 534 |
Taps | p. 536 |
"Old geezers ... playing taps on a tape recorder" | p. 538 |
"I was leading an unpopular war" | p. 539 |
"The first time I ever encountered the Vietnam War was in Hollywood movies" | p. 540 |
"You can't talk with people you demonize" | p. 542 |
"We no longer hate the Americans" | p. 545 |
"The roof that hasn't been built" | p. 547 |
"Because love is stronger than enmity" | p. 548 |
Acknowledgments | p. 551 |
Index | p. 555 |
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