The Power of Indirect Influence

by Tingley, Judith C.

• ISBN13: 9780814470503
• ISBN10: 0814470505
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2000-11-01
• Publisher: Amacom Books

Summary

A guide to the more subtle methods of influencing others, including paradox, the Columbo approach, storytelling and metaphor, and humor. Teaches how to go beyond assertive communication to a more advanced, smoother approach. Softcover. DLC: Communication in management.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	xi
The Dynamic Duo: Power and Influence	1	(18)
A Story	3	(4)
Getting People to Do What You Want Them to Do	7	(3)
The Dynamic Duo	10	(4)
Resistance	14	(1)
The Drill	15	(1)
Another Story	15	(2)
Just the Basics	17	(2)
The Drill	19	(19)
Deciding What You Want as an Outcome of Your Influence Attempt	19	(3)
What's Your Read about Yourself and the Other Person in the Current Situation?	22	(7)
Pick the Method and the Technique	29	(5)
Implement the Technique	34	(1)
Reward Yourself	35	(1)
Evaluate the Results	35	(1)
Stay in Step	36	(2)
Direct Influence: The Traditional Coin of the Realm	38	(16)
Men and Women	41	(3)
Cultural Difference	44	(2)
Direct Influence Techniques	46	(8)
Saying ``No''	47	(1)
Making ``I'' Statements	48	(1)
Be Brief and Specific	49	(1)
Make Statements, Don't Ask Questions	49	(1)
Broken Record	50	(1)
Telling What You Want	51	(1)
Cut to the Chase	52	(2)
Indirect Influence: Sophisticated and Subtle	54	(23)
What ``Beyond Assertiveness'' Is	56	(7)
BA and Therapy	58	(1)
BA and Business	59	(2)
A Comparison: Before and beyond Assertiveness	61	(2)
What ``Beyond Assertiveness'' Isn't	63	(4)
It's Not Nonassertive Communication	63	(1)
It's Not Manipulation	64	(2)
It's Not Influencing through Other People in Power	66	(1)
It's Not ``The Flounce''	66	(1)
The Differences: Before Assertiveness, Assertiveness, Manipulation, and beyond Assertiveness	67	(5)
Women and Men	69	(2)
How to Use Indirectness	71	(1)
Beyond Assertiveness: The Indirect Influence Techniques	72	(3)
Modeling and Matching	72	(1)
Acting in Accord	72	(1)
Reframing	73	(1)
Paradox	73	(1)
Confusing	74	(1)
The Columbo Approach	74	(1)
Storytelling and Metaphor	75	(1)
Humor	75	(1)
Take a Pass at Indirect	75	(2)
Modeling and Matching: The Similarity Bias Par Excellence	77	(16)
Modeling	79	(4)
Matching	83	(9)
The Case	84	(1)
The Drill	85	(7)
Copy Exactly	92	(1)
Acting in Accord: Wise, Not Wimpy	93	(16)
Acting in Accord and Therapy	93	(3)
Acting in Accord: What Does It Look and Sound Like?	96	(3)
Reading the Target Person	99	(7)
The Case	102	(1)
The Drill	103	(3)
Fogging	106	(1)
Acting in Accord with Acting in Accord	107	(2)
Reframing: Old Picture, New Frame	109	(14)
Reframing and Therapy	110	(4)
Reframing in Business	114	(7)
The Case	117	(2)
The Drill	119	(2)
The Spin	121	(2)
Paradox: The Unexpected	123	(13)
Paradox in Therapy	127	(1)
Paradox with Difficult People at Work	128	(7)
The Case	132	(1)
The Drill	133	(2)
Important Points to Forget	135	(1)
Confusing: A Disarming Approach	136	(13)
Confusing and Therapy	137	(1)
Confusing and Business	138	(10)
The Case	142	(4)
The Drill	146	(2)
Forgetting or Remembering, Confusing Rather Than Confused	148	(1)
The Columbo Approach: A la Peter Falk	149	(15)
Columbo and Business	153	(9)
The Case	158	(1)
The Drill	159	(3)
Points to Be Confused About	162	(2)
Storytelling and Metaphor: Once Upon a Time	164	(20)
Stories as Therapy	165	(3)
Stay in Indirect Mode with Stories	168	(1)
Beginning Business with Stories	169	(1)
Leaders and Stories	170	(3)
Metaphors	173	(9)
The Drill	177	(5)
The Tale End	182	(2)
Humor: The Most Fun	184	(16)
Men and Women	189	(2)
Humor and Therapy	191	(4)
Humor and Business	195	(3)
Get Serious about Humor	198	(2)
Success with Subtlety	200	(7)
Appendix	207	(2)
Bibliography	209	(6)
Index	215