Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia : How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings

by BREZSNY, ROB

• ISBN13: 9781583941232
• ISBN10: 1583941231
• Format: Trade Paper
• Copyright: 2005-05-24
• Publisher: Frog Books

Summary

Human beings are selfish, small-minded, violence-prone savages; civilization is a blight on the earth; the rising tide of chaos that surrounds us on all sides ensures that everything's going to fall apart any day now. Right?

Author Biography

Rob Brezsny writes "Free Will Astrology," a syndicated weekly column that reaches nine million readers in over 100 publications, including the Village Voice, where it has appeared every week since January 1999. It is also published on his website, www.freewillastrology.com, and is distributed through a weekly email newsletter with 26,500+ subscribers.

When Utne Reader named Brezsny a "Culture Hero," it observed: "With a blend of spontaneous poetry, feisty politics, and fanciful put-on, Brezsny breathes new life into the tabloid mummy of zodiac advice columns."

In its profile of Brezsny, The New York Times quoted a reader who compared his writing to that of Tom Robbins. The horoscopes "are like little valentines, buoyant and spilling over with mischievousness. They're a soul prognosis."

Before his other book, The Televisionary Oracle, Brezsny's enduring artistic artifacts were music albums, one created as a solo artist and three with the band World Entertainment War, which recorded for MCA. World Entertainment War's albums was nominated for a "Bammie," California's version of the Grammies, and benefited from the promotional wizardry of rock's top impresario, Bill Graham, who managed World Entertainment War until his death.

Table of Contents

Bravo, Viva, Kudos, Whoopee, Eureka, Hallelujah, Abracadabra
This is a Perfect Moment * Primordial Gossip	2	(2)
Glory in the Highest * Secrets of Pronoia	4	(3)
The Experiment * Dionysian Manifesto	7	(2)
Dear Gorgeous Genius * Love Letter	9	(1)
Pronoia Therapy * Pronoia Therapy	10	(2)
When they say ``Be yourself,'' which self do they mean?
Baby Wipe Communique * Medicine Story	12	(10)
Sacred Advertisement (Night vision goggles and Sharon Doubiago)	22	(1)
Your Inalienable Right to Fresh Omens * Guerrilla Oracle	23	(1)
Burn, Baby, Burn * Guerrilla Oracle	23	(1)
Free Pronoia Therapy * Pronoia Therapy	24	(2)
We're searching for the answers so we can destroy them and dream up better questions
Luminous Tease * Love Letter	26	(1)
Evil is Boring * Dionysian Manifesto	27	(2)
Sacred Advertisement (How to Start Your Own Country)	29	(1)
Subvert Colonialism * Guerrilla Oracle	30	(1)
Slam * Special Offer	31	(1)
I Have a Dream * Primordial Gossip	32	(1)
Sacred Advertisement (Jung, Whitman, King)	33	(1)
Dreamy Pronoia Therapy * Pronoia Therapy	34	(1)
The Missing Everything * Guerrilla Oracle	35	(1)
What is the Beauty and Truth Laboratory? * Medicine Story	36	(3)
Sacred Advertisement (Hand-loomed Turkish shower curtains)	39	(1)
Liberated for Your Use	40	(2)
Everyone who believes in the devil is the devil
Drowning in Love * Guerrilla Oracle	42	(1)
The Universe is Made of Stories * Dionysian Manifesto	43	(2)
Welcome to the Show * Primordial Gossip	45	(1)
PNN 1: Pronoia News Network	46	(4)
Gazing into the Abyss of Happiness * Dionysian Manifesto	50	(1)
Your Awakening Tree * Guerrilla Oracle	51	(1)
Sacred Advertisement (Ralph Waldo Emerson: Make your own Bible)	52	(1)
Unabashed Pronoia Therapy * Pronoia Therapy	53	(5)
Sacred Advertisement (``All I ever wanted in life'')	58	(2)
Let's go wash some water
Beyond Goodness * Guerrilla Oracle	60	(1)
A Dangerous Taboo * Secrets of Pronoia	61	(3)
Sacred Advertisement (Iroquois Thunderbird Clan)	64	(1)
Lazy Work * Guerrilla Oracle	65	(1)
Origins of the Homeopathic Medicine Spells * Secrets of Pronoia	66	(1)
Homeopathic Medicine Spell #1	67	(1)
World Kiss * Primordial Gossip	68	(2)
Volcanic Pronoia Therapy * Pronoia Therapy	70	(1)
Sacred Advertisement (William Blake's poem)	71	(1)
Let's Make Morality Fun * Special Offer	72	(1)
How Pronoia Works * Secrets of Pronoia	73	(1)
Liberated for Your Use	74	(2)
``I vow to interpret every experience as a direct dealing of the Goddess with my soul''
What's the Most Important Question for You to Ask Today? * Love Letter	76	(1)
Bigger, Better, More Interesting Problems * Dionysian Manifesto	77	(1)
Sacred Advertisement (The mosquito that kept you up all night)	78	(1)
Intimate Pronoia Therapy * Pronoia Therapy	79	(6)
PNN 2: Pronoia News Network	85	(4)
The Rich Get Richer * Guerrilla Oracle	89	(1)
Sacred Advertisement (The Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu)	90	(1)
Further Evidence * Special Offer	91	(1)
Sacred Advertisement (Boris Pasternak's poem)	92	(2)
Everyone's a nobody---and nobody's perfect
You are Almost Everything * Love Letter	94	(1)
Bin Laden's Wife's Bra * Guerrilla Oracle	95	(1)
Brain-Scrambling Meditation * Primordial Gossip	96	(2)
Reap the Benefits of Your Scrambled Brain * Primordial Gossip	98	(1)
Apocalypse Versus Apocalypse * Dionysian Manifesto	99	(2)
Sacred Advertisement (When you ate Peruvian figs)	101	(1)
Hype-Ocalypse * Dionysian Manifesto	102	(1)
Pronoia's Villains * Secrets of Pronoia	103	(1)
You're A Good Killer * Guerrilla Oracle	104	(1)
Ambidextrous Pronoia Therapy * Pronoia Therapy	105	(4)
Homeopathic Medicine Spell #2	109	(1)
Liberated for Your Use	110	(2)
When did you first realize you are the rain's teacher?
Fear of Beauty? * Secrets of Pronoia	112	(1)
Shadow School * Dionysian Manifesto	113	(2)
Sacred Advertisement (The necessity of meeting God in darkness)	115	(1)
Flip-Flop the Traumatic Imprint * Medicine Story	116	(1)
Love Bomb * Primordial Gossip	117	(1)
Sacred Advertisement (Cock-a-doodle-doo)	118	(1)
Subterranean Pronoia Therapy * Pronoia Therapy	119	(5)
Sacred Advertisement (The decisions you didn't make)	124	(1)
Your Sacred Advertisement	124	(1)
PNN 3: Pronoia News Network	125	(5)
Art Lessons * Guerrilla Oracle	130	(1)
Soaring and Scrounging * Guerrilla Oracle	130	(2)
Visualize ------ at the moment of orgasm
Put your deity's name here
All I Ask of You * Love Letter	132	(1)
What If Your Desires Are Holy? * Dionysian Manifesto	133	(2)
The Orgasmic Roots of Pronoia * Medicine Story	135	(9)
Sacred Advertisement (Sacred underwear)	144	(1)
Devotional Pronoia Therapy * Pronoia Therapy	145	(4)
PNN 4: Pronoia News Network	149	(5)
Radical Everything * Guerrilla Oracle	154	(2)
Only you can prevent the genocide of the imagination
Prayer for You * Love Letter	156	(3)
Four Dignities of the Warrior's Path * Guerrilla Oracle	159	(1)
Crimes That Don't Break Any Laws * Primordial Gossip	160	(3)
Crimes That Don't Break Any Laws: The Theory * Primordial Gossip	163	(1)
Do-It-Yourself Prank * Primordial Gossip	164	(1)
The Perils of Enchantment * Guerrilla Oracle	165	(1)
Receptivity Remedies * Dionysian Manifesto	166	(4)
Your Chalice * Special Offer	170	(1)
You are a Disseminator of Pronoia * Secrets of Pronoia	171	(6)
PNN 5: Pronoia News Network	172	(5)
Flexible Pronoia Therapy * Pronoia Therapy	177	(4)
Sacred Advertisement (Atheist prayer)	181	(1)
Liberated For Your Use	182	(2)
Stronger than hate, wetter than water, deeper than the abyss, more exotic than trust
Tummler and Ondinnonk * Love Letter	184	(1)
Welcome Home * Primordial Gossip	185	(1)
Sacred Advertisement (Titian painting)	186	(1)
Confess Your Fundamentalist Virus * Primordial Gossip	187	(1)
The Limits of Interweaving * Guerrilla Oracle	188	(1)
The More Accidental, the More True * Dionysian Manifesto	189	(2)
Raucous Pronoia Therapy * Pronoia Therapy	191	(5)
Homeopathic Medicine Spell #3	196	(1)
The 80 Percent Rule * Dionysian Manifesto	197	(1)
Sacred Advertisement (Deena Metzger's prayer)	198	(2)
This language prevents crime. This engineering moves you to sing. These advertisements make you smart. These rhythms free all prisoners of childhood.
Your Horoscope * Love Letter	200	(1)
Surrender to the Conspiracy * Guerrilla Oracle	201	(1)
How I Got Started in the Beauty and Truth Business * Medicine Story	202	(5)
Sacred Advertisement (Telepathics Anonymous)	207	(1)
Dreamtime University * Dionysian Manifesto	208	(2)
Your Dreams * Dionysian Manifesto	210	(1)
Sacred Advertisement (Chris Rock's testimony)	211	(1)
PNN 6: Pronoia News Network	212	(6)
Easy Pronoia Therapy * Pronoia Therapy	218	(2)
The 11th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Bore God. The 12th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Bore Thyself
Your Sledgehammer and Watercolor Brush * Love Letter	220	(1)
Sacred Uproar * Secrets of Pronoia	221	(2)
Do-It-Yourself Pronoia * Secrets of Pronoia	223	(1)
Evil Fears Laughter * Dionysian Manifesto	224	(2)
Homeopathic Medicine Spell #4	226	(1)
The Science of the Invisible * Dionysian Manifesto	227	(3)
22nd-Century Pronoia Therapy * Pronoia Therapy	230	(6)
PNN 7: Pronoia News Network	236	(5)
How Is Enlightenment Like A Million-Dollar Vacation Home? * Guerrilla Oracle	241	(1)
Exemption from Enlightenment * Special Offer	242	(2)
You Are a Fucking Lucky Plucky Good-Sucking Genius
It's Bad Luck to Be Superstitious * Love Letter	244	(1)
Persona Turnover * Guerrilla Oracle	245	(1)
Your Brand New Name * Special Offer	246	(1)
I'm A Star, You're A Star * Dionysian Manifesto	247	(2)
I'm A Brat, You're A Brat * Dionysian Manifesto	249	(1)
Sacred Advertisement (Carl Jung about Jesus)	249	(1)
You're A Prophet * Dionysian Manifesto	250	(1)
Your Prophecies * Dionysian Manifesto	251	(1)
Homeopathic Medicine Spell #5	252	(1)
I Me Wed * Primordial Gossip	253	(3)
Liberated for Your Use	256	(2)
``Ever since I learned to see three sides of every story, I'm finding much better stories''
Your Graduation Inscription * Love Letter	258	(1)
PNN 8: Pronoia News Network	259	(6)
For Immediate Release * Premium Bonus Benefit	265	(1)
Sacred Advertisement * (Imaginary lightning Bolts)	266	(1)
Anti-DSM-IV, or The Outlaw Catalog of Cagey Optimism * Premium Bonus Benefit	267	(3)
Sacred Advertisement (``I Don't Know'')	270	(1)
Outlaw Pronoia Therapy * Pronoia Therapy	271	(4)
Walking Uphill Backward * Secrets of Pronoia	275	(1)
Invitation to the Dance * Special Offer	276	(1)
Your Assignment * Guerrilla Oracle	277	(1)
Author's Thanks	278	(1)
About Rob Brezsny	278	(2)
You Are My Coauthor <------[or whiteout ``You Are My Coauthor'' and create your own chapter title]
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Sacred Advertisement (``May you get what you want and still want it'')	296