Raising an Emotionally Healthy Child When a Parent is Sick (A Harvard Medical School Book)

by Rauch, Paula; Muriel, Anna

• ISBN13: 9780071446815
• ISBN10: 0071446818
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2006-01-11
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill Education

Summary

For families with a seriously ill parent--advice on helping your children cope from two leading Harvard psychiatristsBased on a Massachusetts General Hospital program,Raising an Emotionally Healthy Child When a Parent is Sickcovers how you can address children's concerns when a parent is seriously ill, how to determine how children with different temperaments are really feeling and how to draw them out, ways to ensure the child's financial and emotional security and reassure the child that he or she will be taken care of.

Author Biography

Paula K. Rauch, M.D. is a senior psychiatrist in the Massachusetts General Hospital Department of Psychiatry and an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. She is also Chief of the Massachusetts General Hospital Child Psychiatry Consultation Service, and the psychiatric consultant to the award-winning PBS cartoon "Arthur."

Anna C. Muriel, M.D., M.Ph. is on the staff of the Cancer Center Parenting Program and the Pediatric Consultation Service at Massachusetts General Hospital. She is an Instructor in Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

Table of Contents

Preface	xv
Acknowledgments	xxiii
CHAPTER 1 How Young Children Understand Illness	1	(36)
Infancy and Toddler Years	2	(11)
Preschool Children (Ages Three to Six)	13	(11)
Elementary School Years (Ages Seven to Twelve)	24	(13)
CHAPTER 2 How Older Children Understand Illness	37	(18)
Adolescence	37	(10)
Late Adolescence and Early Adulthood	47	(8)
CHAPTER 3 New Diagnosis: Organizing Your Support System	55	(10)
Gather Medical Information	55	(2)
Use Familiar Caregivers and Routines	57	(1)
Ask Your Child's Friends' Parents to Help	57	(1)
Designate a "Minister of Information"	58	(1)
Designate a "Captain of Kindness"	59	(1)
Delegate Mundane Tasks	60	(1)
Help Your Helpers with Schedules, Lists, and Labels	61	(1)
Ask Older Children What They Need Help With	62	(1)
Take One Day at a Time	63	(2)
CHAPTER 4 Maintaining a Child's Daily Schedule and Family Routine	65	(18)
Reestablishing Normalcy	66	(1)
Your Child's Daily Schedule	67	(1)
Your Family Routine	68	(8)
When Your Child Wants to Be Everywhere but Home	76	(2)
Parents Living in Different Households	78	(1)
Sharing Your Home	79	(1)
Different Children, Different Families, Different Needs	80	(3)
CHAPTER 5 Communicating with Your Child About the Illness	83	(14)
Everyone Deserves to Know What Is Going On	83	(4)
Talking About a New Diagnosis or a Change in Your Medical Condition	87	(4)
Welcome and Explore Your Child's Questions	91	(2)
Communication in Multicultural Households	93	(1)
How to Help Other Adults Talk with Your Child About the Illness	94	(3)
CHAPTER 6 If Your Child Asks, "Are You Going to Die?"	97	(10)
Religious and Spiritual Beliefs	98	(2)
What Does My Child Really Want to Know?	100	(3)
If Your Progress Is Uncertain	103	(1)
If It Is Likely That You Will Die Within the Next Few Weeks	104	(1)
Guiding Principles	105	(2)
CHAPTER 7 Different Childhood Coping Styles	107	(12)
Easy and Difficult Temperaments	107	(1)
Knowing Temperamental Style Helps Parents Anticipate and Plan	108	(1)
You Are Already the Expert on Your Child	109	(1)
Let Your Child Know You Notice Things That Are Hard for Him or Her	110	(1)
Four Types of Children Who Worry Parents Most	111	(7)
The Bottom Line	118	(1)
CHAPTER 8 How Your Symptoms Affect Your Children	119	(12)
Fatigue	120	(2)
Pain	122	(2)
Concentration Problems and Memory Loss	124	(1)
Difficulty Expressing Yourself	125	(1)
Changes in Appearance	126	(1)
Lowered Immunity	127	(1)
Difficulty Controlling Anger	127	(1)
Dealing with Other Symptoms	128	(3)
CHAPTER 9 Helping the School Support Your Child	131	(8)
Pick a Point Person	131	(4)
Keep the Focus on the Child	135	(1)
Check in with Your Child About School Events	135	(1)
Adjust Expectations for Schoolwork When Necessary	136	(2)
Find Out About Your Child's Curriculum	138	(1)
CHAPTER 10 Hospital Visits	139	(8)
Prepare in Advance	140	(1)
During the Visit	141	(2)
After the Visit	143	(1)
Times When Visits Are Best Avoided	143	(1)
When a Child Doesn't Want to Visit	144	(1)
Alternatives to a Visit in Person	144	(1)
Visits at the End of Life	145	(2)
CHAPTER 11 Financial and Legal Considerations	147	(16)
Don't Put Off Financial and Legal Planning	148	(1)
Your Expenses: What Are You Spending Now?	149	(1)
Your Income: What's Coming In?	150	(3)
Financial Planning for the Future	153	(1)
Legal Considerations	154	(4)
Special Considerations for Single or Nonbiological Parents	158	(2)
Why Planning Is So Important	160	(2)
The Bottom Line	162	(1)
CHAPTER 12 Genetic Testing for Medical Illness: Your Child's Perspective	163	(8)
When to Consider Genetic Testing for Your Children	164	(1)
Principles to Consider	164	(2)
How to Talk with Your Child About Testing	166	(2)
If Your Child Is Not Biologically Related to You	168	(1)
If the Result Is Positive	169	(1)
If Results Are Different for Siblings	169	(1)
Final Reminder	170	(1)
CHAPTER 13 When to Seek Professional Mental Health Services for Your Child	171	(6)
How Much Has Your Child's Behavior Changed Since the Illness?	171	(2)
Is Your Child Able to Continue to Function in Daily Life?	173	(2)
How to Find a Mental Health Specialist for Your Child	175	(2)
CHAPTER 14 Leaving a Legacy	177	(10)
Guiding Principles	178	(1)
Letting Your Child Choose Something Personal	179	(1)
Existing Family Traditions	179	(1)
Your Child's Name as a Legacy	180	(1)
Legacy Funds	181	(1)
Other Ideas for Your Legacy Gift	182	(2)
Closing Thoughts	184	(3)
CHAPTER 15 Making Decisions About End-of-Life Care	187	(6)
How to Decide Where a Parent Will Be at the End of Life	188	(1)
If a Parent Will Be Cared for in a Residential or Inpatient Hospice	188	(2)
If a Parent Will Be Cared for at Home	190	(1)
Discuss How Children Want to Hear About a Parent's Death	191	(2)
CHAPTER 16 Funerals and Memorial Services	193	(6)
Family Conflict Makes Planning Harder	193	(1)
Making Your Child's Needs the Priority	194	(1)
How Young Is Too Young?	195	(1)
Planning the Funeral Is a Family Process	195	(2)
Memorial Services	197	(1)
Closing Words	198	(1)
Epilogue: Your Child's Bright Future	199	(4)
Resources	203	(4)
Index	207