The Rules of Love A Personal Code for Happier, More Fulfilling Relationships

by Templar, Richard

• ISBN13: 9780137149964
• ISBN10: 0137149964
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2008-12-01
• Publisher: FT Press

Summary

Whether it's a romantic relationship or the emotional bond between family and friends, love matters. The author of "The Rules of Life" presents 100 simple rules to live and love by. Templar offers ideas for keeping a relationship fresh and surprising, and building better relationships with the entire family.

Author Biography

Richard Templar is the author of international bestsellers The Rules of Money, The Rules of Work, The Rules of Management, The Rules of Life, and The Rules of Parenting.

Table of Contents

Introduction	p. xii
Rules for Finding Love	p. 1
Be Yourself	p. 4
Get Over It Before You Get on with It	p. 5
You Won't Be Happy with a Partner Until You Can Be Happy on Your Own	p. 8
You'll Know Them When You Meet Them	p. 10
Choose Someone Who Makes You Laugh	p. 12
Being Less than a Hundred Percent Attractive Is a Great Filter	p. 14
Don't Keep Making the Same Mistakes	p. 16
Certain People Are Off Limits (You Know Who They Are)	p. 18
You Can't Change People	p. 20
Relationships Aren't About Sex	p. 22
You Should Know Someone Through All the Seasons Before You Make Any Major Decisions	p. 24
Don't Stay with Someone Who Doesn't Care	p. 26
If You Can't Trust Them, You Haven't Got a Relationship	p. 28
Be Honest (While You Still Have the Chance)	p. 30
Don't Play Games	p. 32
Don't Paint New Partners with Old Brushes	p. 34
Make Sure You Both Have the Same Shared Goals	p. 36
You Can't Make Someone Love You	p. 38
Be Cruel to Be Kind	p. 40
Rules of Relationships	p. 43
Be Nice	p. 46
Be Together Because You Want to, Not Because You Need To	p. 48
Allow Your Partner the Space to Be Themselves	p. 50
Look to Your Own Faults	p. 52
Be Honorable	p. 54
Put Each Other First	p. 56
Recognize the Signs	p. 58
Be a Hero--or a Heroine	p. 60
Accept the Differences, Embrace What You Have in Common	p. 62
Houston, We Have a Problem	p. 64
You Want to Do What?	p. 66
Let Not the Sun Go Down Upon Your Wrath	p. 68
Be the First to Say Sorry	p. 70
Don't Belittle Your Partner	p. 72
Don't Put Them on a Pedestal and Expect Them to Stay There	p. 74
Don't Dump Responsibility on Your Partner	p. 76
Never Stop Trying to Be Attractive	p. 78
If You Can Say Anything Nice, Do	p. 80
Don't Try to Be Their Parent	p. 82
Don't Be a Nag	p. 84
If Little Things Annoy You, Say So--with Humor	p. 86
Go that Extra Step in Trying to Please Them	p. 88
Make Sure Your Partner Is Always Pleased to See You	p. 90
Know When to Listen and When to Act	p. 92
Let Them Know If You Don't Like Their Friends	p. 94
Jealousy Is Your Stuff, Not Theirs	p. 96
Your Partner Is More Important than Your Kids	p. 98
Make Time for Romance	p. 100
Have a Passion for Your Life Together	p. 102
Share the Workload	p. 104
Trust the Other One to Do the Job	p. 106
Be Part of Their Life	p. 108
Make Sure Your Love Making Is Making Love	p. 110
Don't Control Them	p. 112
Listen to What They're Not Saying	p. 114
Most Everyday Arguments Are About Something Else	p. 116
Respect Privacy	p. 118
Treat Your Partner Better than Your Best Friend	p. 120
Don't Be Offended If They Want Some Space	p. 122
Men Like Flowers, Too	p. 124
Keep Your Finances Separate	p. 126
Contentment Is a High Aim	p. 128
Be Generous to Each Other Financially	p. 130
You Make a Choice Every Day	p. 132
Don't' Be a Martyr	p. 134
You Don't Both Have to Have the Same Rules	p. 136
Put Yourself in Their Shoes	p. 138
In-Laws Are Part of the Package	p. 140
Keep Talking	p. 142
Rules of Parting	p. 145
Listen to Your Own Internal Voice	p. 148
Recognize That It Takes Two	p. 150
eep the Moral High Ground	p. 152
Don't Keep Reliving It Over and Over	p. 154
Leave the Kids Out of It	p. 156
Rules for Family	p. 159
Don't Blame Your Parents	p. 162
Don't Let Your Parents Control Your Feelings	p. 164
Your Children Come Before You	p. 166
Nothing Is Worth Falling Out Over	p. 168
Treat Them the Way You Believe Is Right, No Matter How They Treat You	p. 170
Don't Pressure Your Family Just Because You Can	p. 172
Never Be Too Busy for Loved Ones	p. 174
Your Children Need to Fall Out with You to Leave Home	p. 176
They Don't Have to Be the Same as You	p. 178
There's Always Stuff with Siblings	p. 180
Let Go of Your Role	p. 182
ules of Friendship	p. 185
There Are No Rules	p. 188
Your Best Friend Was Once a Stranger	p. 190
Only Have People in Your Life Who Make It Better, Not Worse	p. 192
If You're Going to Be a Friend, Be a Good Friend	p. 194
Never Give Advice	p. 196
Find Friends Who Love the Truth	p. 198
Never Lend Money Unless You're Prepared to Write It Off	p. 200
If You Don't Like Their Partner, Tough	p. 202
When One Finger Points Forward, Three Point Back	p. 204
Friendships Change	p. 206
Know When to Let Go	p. 208
Bitterness Helps No One	p. 210
Rules for Everyone	p. 213
Guilt Is a Selfish Emotion	p. 216
Love Equals Time	p. 218
The More You Give, the More You Get Back	p. 220
Other People Are Where It's At	p. 222
Table of Contents provided by Publisher. All Rights Reserved.

Excerpts

TheRulesOf_Series IntroductionLove. It's simple isn't it? You love your family and your friends; they love you back. You find a partner who you love, and who loves you, too. And you don't even have to tryit just happens. All true, but if you're reading this book, you already know full well that it's much, much more complex.Love between people almost always has its complicationsbecause people are complicated. Love can be tried and tested and stretched to its limits. Sometimes we love the wrong person. We can love too much, or not enough. We can feel it but not know how to show it. We can think love is enough, when actually it isn't. We can struggle to find itor be unsure if we've found it or not. And sometimes we think it's still there, but we can feel it ebbing away and not know how to restore it to its full glory.Love is often involved in our highest highs and our deepest lows. And it's almost always linked to contentment, which frankly is what most of us ultimately want in life. And so we should. It's a lofty aim. Imagine yourself in old age for a moment. You're sitting in the sunshine next to your partner (who is also your best friend, confidante and lover) and you're surrounded by family and friends. Children are playing on the grass around you, and everywhere is the sound of laughter and happy voices. Yes, I know it sounds like the ending of the most unwatchable, sugary film ever. But deep down, wouldn't you like to feel you were heading for moments like that?It all comes down to forming strong and loving relationships that will stay strong all your lifewell, starting from now at leastand accumulating people around you who make you happy and who enjoy your company.It all comes down to love. The four-letter word that has more poems, stories, and sermons written about it than any other. The supposedly basic and straightforward emotion that so many of us find a bit trickier than we feel it should be. We're told to love our neighbor, love our fellow man, that love makes the world go round, love conquers all, all you need is love.Yes, yes, but how do you actually do it? How do you get it right and make it last and keep it fresh? It may be a basic human instinct, but it's not that easy. We keep messing it up. Relationships fail, friends let us down, family isn't there when we need them, or children blame us for everything that goes wrong in their lives.It's all very well saying that all you need is love, but it's not actually true. All you need is love plus an instruction manual for what to do with it once you've got it. Well, I've never tracked down an instruction manual, so I've had to do my best to assemble my own.To begin with, I was as lost as anyone. But as you'll know if you've read any of my other Rules books, what I really do well in life is watch other people. I can't always seem to get everything right myself, but I can see what the people who do get it right are doing. So that's what I've done. I've studied all kinds of people in relationships with family and friends. It soon became clear that a few people are really good at love, but that most of us struggle. So what is it that the successful people do? Is there