Sacred Passage How to Provide Fearless, Compassionate Care for the Dying

by Coberly, Margaret

• ISBN13: 9781590300176
• ISBN10: 1590300173
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2003-02-11
• Publisher: Shambhala

Summary

Working as an emergency room nurse, Margaret Coberly came in contact with death on a daily basis. However, it wasn't until her own brother was diagnosed with terminal cancer that she realized she understood very little about the emotional and spiritual aspects of caring for the terminally ill. To fill this gap she turned to the unique wisdom on death and dying found in Tibetan Buddhism. In this book Coberly offers sound, practical advice on meeting the essential needs of the dying, integrating stories from her long career in nursing with useful insights from the Tibetan Buddhist teachings. In the West, death is viewed as a tragic and horrible event. Coberly shows us how this view generates fear and denial, which harm the dying by adding unnecessary loneliness, confusion, and mental anguish to the dying process. Tibetan Buddhism focuses on the nature of death and how to face it with honesty, openness, and courage. In this view, death is not a failure, but a natural part of life that, if properly understood and appreciated, can offer the dying and their loved ones an opportunity to gain valuable insight and wisdom. Coberly argues that the Tibetan Buddhist outlook can be a useful antidote to the culture of fear and denial that surrounds death in the West and can help caregivers become more fully present, fearless, honest, and compassionate.Sacred Passagehighlights two very practical teachings on death and dying from the Tibetan Buddhist tradition and presents them in clear, nontechnical language. Readers learn about the "eight stages of dissolution leading to death," a detailed roadmap of the dying process that describes the sequence of physical, psychological, and spiritual changes that occur as we die. Coberly also presents the "death meditation," a contemplative exercise for developing a new relationship to death-and life. The book also includes a lengthy, annotated list of recommended readings for added guidance and inspiration. Topics include: How the terminally ill can experience emotional and spiritual healing even when they can't be cured Why Western medicine's relentless focus on curing disease has led to inadequate care for the dying What to expect during the dying process How our fear and denial of death harm the dying Techniques to help caregivers promote a peaceful environment for the dying and their loved ones How to meet the changing physical and emotional needs of the dying Helpful advice on what to say and how to behave around the terminally ill Registered nurses can earn Continuing Education Units (CEUs) by passing a written test based on this book. For more information, see http://www.shambhala.com/sacredpassage.

Author Biography

Margaret Coberly, Ph.D., R.N., has been a nurse for more than thirty years, working in inner-city trauma centers and in hospice settings. She holds a doctorate in psychology, is a faculty member at the University of Phoenix, and lectures at the University of Hawaii. Dr. Coberly is also a nurse educator and works as the director of research and development at Hospice Hawaii.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	xi
Introduction	1	(10)
PART ONE DEATH IN WESTERN HEALTH CARE
The Problem of Death Denial	11	(18)
The Prevailing Medical Paradigm	16	(3)
Nursing School and Death Denial	19	(3)
Emergency Room Practice	22	(2)
Death Denial in the Community	24	(5)
A Broader View of Healing	29	(16)
Kubler-Ross and the Plight of the Dying	30	(2)
Palliative Care and Healing	32	(3)
Healing and the Power of the Mind	35	(3)
Reflecting on Death	38	(7)
Awakening to Impermanence and Facing Death	45	(20)
Death's Scythe	50	(8)
Questioning Assumptions	58	(7)
PART TWO RESOURCES FROM THE TIBETAN BUDDHIST TRADITION
Ceaseless Transformation	65	(14)
Dependent Origination: The Truth of Impermanence	66	(2)
Karma: Form and Shadow Remain Linked	68	(2)
Ordinary Mind: The Worlds We Find Ourselves In	70	(1)
Enlightened Mind: The Light Within	71	(1)
Rebirth: The Realms of Cyclic Existence	72	(2)
The Tibetan Book of the Dead: An Instruction Manual	74	(5)
The Eight Stages of Dissolution	79	(22)
Stage 1: Earth Dissolves into Water (Mirage)	82	(2)
Stage 2: Water Dissolves into Fire (Smoke)	84	(2)
Stage 3: Fire Dissolves into Wind (Fireflies)	86	(1)
Stage 4: Wind Dissolves into Space (Flame)	87	(1)
Stage 5: Ordinary Mind States Dissolve (White Flash)	88	(1)
Stages 6--8: Subtle Mind States Dissolve (Red Flash, Black Flash, Clear Light)	89	(3)
The Tibetan Art of Death: Two Lamas	92	(2)
Summary Table of the Eight Stages of Dissolution	94	(7)
PART THREE PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS FOR CARE PROVIDERS
Tibetan Buddhist Practice and the Dying Trajectory	101	(14)
The Tibetan Buddhist Death Meditation	103	(3)
Hearing the Diagnosis: Death Is Certain	106	(3)
What Do I Say? Time of Death Is Uncertain	109	(3)
Focusing: At Death Only the Condition of the Mind Has Value	112	(3)
Developing a Transpersonal Stance in Care of the Dying	115	(10)
Presence, Not Pretense	117	(2)
Promoting Peace in Relationships: Forgiveness	119	(2)
Ensuring Peace at the End: Sacred Passage	121	(4)
Notes	125	(18)
Recommended Readings	143