The Second Assistant A Tale from the Bottom of the Hollywood Ladder

by Naylor, Clare; Hare, Mimi

• ISBN13: 9780670033072
• ISBN10: 0670033073
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2004-05-03
• Publisher: Viking Adult

Summary

No political science degree could ever prepare Elizabeth Miller for her new job as second assistant at The Agency, whose clients include everyone you’ve never met—but you know who they’re sleeping with. A former congressional intern in Washington, Lizzie makes a bid for a life change that lands her a job a world away, where ethics and First Amendment debates take a backseat to pleading the Fifth for ritalin-snorting boss Scott Wagner, the hottest young agent in Hollywood who devotes his days to playing online poker—that is, when he’s not closing a $30 million deal for one of his AAA-list clients. And while getting six hundred dollar highlights from Cameron D’s colorist or organizing the strippers for George C’s party come close to causing heart failure for this East Coast girl, the real dangers lurk elsewhere. But Lizzie is a survivor, and no Machiavellian assistant, lecherous producer, or power struggle at The Agency can douse her nascent dreams of climbing up the Hollywood ladder. But first she has to run down to the Coffee Bean to pick up that triple espresso, or Scott is going to throw something....For anyone who loved The Nanny Diariesor The Devil Wears Prada, The Second Assistantis a compulsively readable novel and a gleeful skewering of Tinsel Town packed with outrageous, thinly veiled stories about the deranged, the dastardly, and the unspeakably glamorous that will have tongues wagging from coast to coast.

Author Biography

Clare Naylor is the author of three previous novels, including Love: A User-'s Guide and Catching Alice.

Mimi Hare was, at twenty-three years old, the director of development for a Hollywood production company, where she worked on such feature films as Jerry Maguire and As Good as It Gets. This is her first novel.

Excerpts

1 All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people. ?Eugene Pallette as Alexander Bullock My Man Godfrey ?Your job will be to separate the white thumbtacks from the colored ones. Be sure to throw the colored ones away. They must leave the building. If they don?t, then youwill. The president, Daniel Rosen, likes only white thumbtacks at The Agency. Also, should you ever serve him a drink, he has just four ice cubes in his Diet Coke. If you put in more, he will throw the surplus ice cubes at you. If you put in three, he?ll throw the entire drink at you.?This was honestly my first task in Hollywood. And I know it?s not normal. I knew then that it wasn?t normal. But as anyone who?s ever been involved in an abusive relationship will tell you, it?s a process of erosion. It?s not as though the guy just thumps you in the face on your first date. Oh, no, it?s a more subtle, undermining, mind-fuck of a process than that. It starts with the little things that you let slide because they hardly seem worth making a fuss over. But somehow it culminates with you believing that black is white, right is wrong, and eventually your entire universe is topsy-turvy, ass over tits, and the lunatics have taken over the asylum. My abusive relationship with Hollywood started not with a kiss but a thumbtack. There are other things that I know are not normal but, since I became involved with Hollywood, I now cease to bat an eyelid at. They are: 1. Men who wear mascara in between eyelash dyes. 2. The sign in the bathroom of my office that says ?Smoking and Vomiting Prohibited.? 3. Kabala water that retails at $126 a bottle. 4. Men who take you to the Beverly Hills Gun Club on a first date. 5. Women who take fertility drugs even though they don?t have a boyfriend. 6. Promises Rehabilitation Centre in Malibu, which runs an Equine-Assisted Therapy Program for recovering addicts because ?horses have no agenda or ego and respond to contact rather than titles, status or celebrity.? (www.promisesmalibu.com. I kid you not.) 7. Men who ask you not to sue them after they kiss you. 8. Actors. Of both sexes. ?Okay, that shouldn?t take me too long.? I smiled and sat down at my desk, keen to make a good impression by the efficient sorting of the thumbtacks. It was my first day at The Agency. My first day as second assistant to Scott Wagner, Hollywood agent extraordinaire. And even though a career in Hollywood hadn?t always been my life ambition, I was determined to put my heart and soul into it. Perhaps stay a few years, see some of my favorite novels turned into lavish, Academy Award?winning movies, and then return to the East Coast with a like-minded husband and a suntan.I was born and, bar the occasional summer vacation in Europe and Florida, had spent my entire life in Rockville, Maryland, a suburb of Washington, D.C. As far as I remember, I?d always planned on doing something vaguely worthwhile with my life. At four I was going to be an astronaut. Then the Challengershuttle blew up, and I began to dream of a more earthbound career in medicine. I became an expert with a plastic stethoscope, and every member of my family received the lifesaving Kool-Aid vaccination. But the genes will out, and as my parents had always been involved in government and served in soup kitchens every Thanksgiving, I eventually followed the yellow-brick path of least resistance into politics. I graduated summa cum laude from Georgetown. Double major: economics and political science. And then, after a seemingly endless round of interviews, was offered a job with Congressman Edmunds. I loved politics. I loved being part of a team. I would happily stay in the office past midnight photocopying flyers, I pumped helium into balloons, I fetched coffee, I avidly read everything from