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Miz Cleo
Bentley Manor. My hell. My prison. My home.
It's been a few months since that terrible trouble with Devani, Aisha, Lexi, Molly and, 'course, Junior. Some people still buzz about the whole mess. Me, I just shake my head and keep on keepin' on. The thing is: Trouble and Bentley Manor always go hand in hand.
This place started off as a regular Atlanta apartment complex, but in the late '70s it was the ghetto, in the late '80s the projects. Now it's the hood.
My best friend, Osceola Washington, and I laugh about that sort of stuff. We joke about how we were Bentley Manor's first Desperate Hoodwives. Together, we try to keep an eye out on things 'round here -- but it don't do no good.
Folks gonna do what they wanna do.
For nearly forty years I've whittled the time away workin', strugglin', and watchin' my dreams pass me by; but with the Lord's help, I manage to hold my head high. Life is short, as they say.
Well, it is and it isn't.
Seventy-one years I've been blessed to be on this earth. I've buried parents, siblings, children, and even a husband. The young folk think hustlin' is new.
It ain't.
I've put in my hustlin' time, worked three jobs to support and raise four children. I don't know whether I've done a good job, though. I lost my oldest daughter to drugs, my two boys to the prison system, and I have no idea where the other one is.
Over the years, I've seen just about everything under the sun, which makes me wonder why I didn't see this coming. No point in being angry about it.
What's done is done.
As I lie here on this floor, watchin' the blood pour out of me, I feel a certain peace about all that's gone on before. One thang for sure: When you're dyin', your life does flash before your eyes. Now, I can't help but wonder if I coulda prevented what just happened.
Maybe I could've and maybe I couldn't....
Copyright © 2008 by Niobia Bryant and Adrianne Byrd
1
Takiah
I can't believe I'm moving back to Bentley Manor, but where the hell else am I going to go? All my life, I ain't had a pot to piss in or a window to throw the shit out of.
Jesus, listen to me. I got to do something about my goddamn language before I show up at my grandmother's door and she slaps the taste out my mouth.
I shift in my seat because I can't feel my ass anymore. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking, jumping on a Greyhound bus in September for seventeen hours -- and with a six-month-old baby at that. I should've just fucked Dwayne so he would have fixed Kameron's Buick. Then I could've just driven me and Tanana down from Washington myself in one third the time.
Now I've just about had it with shitty looks and shitty diapers. All these motherfuckers on this bus can kiss my ass as far as I'm concerned. I paid my money just like everybody else.
Tanana squirms in my arms and I swear to God, I hold my breath, praying she doesn't wake up wailing again. I just need some peace and quiet a little while longer. My nerves are shot and I need a hit so bad I can taste it.
After a sec, she settles down and I sigh in relief. I don't have any more bottles to feed her, and she's wearing the last Pamper. Now, I'm just hoping my grandmother doesn't turn us away when we get there. Hell, I hope she's still alive.
Fuck. Why didn't I think to check before I got on this bus?
Shit. I bang my head back against the headrest and I feel tears gathering. Why don't I ever think things through? There's a sudden rumble in my stomach, followed by a long growl. Damn, when was the last time I ate anything? Two days ago?
Tears brim my eyes and I clench my teeth so hard I won't be surprised if the bastards shatter. If this plan falls through, it'll be just another fuckup in a long line of fuckups.
The major one was hookin' up with Kameron Ray, my sorry excuse for a husband. Yeah, the nigga knows how to lay down the pipe, but he knows how to beat the shit out of me, too. Don't get me wrong, I get my licks in from time to time, but there's only so much a five-foot-four, ninety-eight-pound woman can do.
Kameron wasn't always that way. When I met him, bobbing his head at a club, I thought he was the finest piece of dark chocolate I'd ever seen. He peeped me out, too; but I was the one who bought his fine ass a drink, put on the moves by rubbing up against him, and then pretended I didn't know the power of my thick booty. Thinkin' back, I still get satin on the panties.
I'd been new to the D.C. area and I remember being surprised to see as many niggas crawlin' around that place as the A-T-L. That should have been my first clue that I had run from one hellhole to another. But, no. My ass is hardheaded. Always have been.
After grindin' up on Kameron at the club, I was satisfied I wasn't dealin' with no needle dick, and agreed to roll back to his place for some weed and more drinks. One puff told me he didn't fuck with no ordinary street shit. I'm talkin' 'bout some potent Jamaican ganja that got you so high, you thought your ass worked for NASA. For real.
I had to turn that nigga out after hookin' a sistah up like that, but Kameron turned out to be a real freak and he was the one who turned me out. The very next day, I moved my shit into his place. A week later, Kameron pulled out some X; week after that, an eight ball.
Don't get me wrong, I hesitated at first. I've always stayed away from the heavy shit. Growin' up with my grandma in Bentley Manor, there was enough crackheads crawlin' around that place to turn me off the shit. But Kameron started punkin' me, tellin' me he couldn't be with a bitch who didn't get down. Another clue to walk my ass out the front door. Shit, I ain't never had a nigga who could fuck me the way Kameron did, and he had enough bitches crawlin' around ready to take my spot, so what choice did I have? Hell, he coulda asked me to rob a bank and I woulda done it.
In reality, Kameron played me from the jump. Within a month, my ass was hooked on fuckin' and gettin' high. Food didn't mean shit; I rarely left his crib and I would go days without washin' my ass. Kameron's freaky ways got downright degradin' and humiliatin': whippin' and pissin' and whatnot.
I took that shit. Why? 'Cause I loved his ass; loved him like I've never loved anything in my life. That nigga took care of me. I coulda had anything I wanted, anytime I wanted it; but the only thing I wanted was Kameron.
Then came the final setup. Kameron's best friends and twins: Darrien and Dwayne came over to chill....
"I'm tellin' you, dawgs. My baby can suck a dick like nobody's business," Kameron boasted, leaning his six-two body back on his Italian leather chair and puffin' on a fat blunt.
My face heated up, flattered and embarrassed he's tellin' niggas I don't even know about our business.
"No shit?" Dwayne asked, casting his high-glazed eyes over at me. "I betcha she ain't better than that one bitch I dated last year. What was her name -- Stacy, Tracy -- some shit like that? Now, that bitch could suck the black off a nigga's dick."
"Better," Kameron praised.
"I don't believe you," Darrien jumped in, eyeing me up and down like I was a car he was considering buying.
"Whatcha niggas wanna bet?" Kameron went on.
"Shit." Dwayne quickly dug into his pockets. "I got 'bout fifty."
I reached for Kameron's hand, my eyes asking, "What the fuck you think you doin'?"
Darrien followed his brother's lead. "I got 'bout the same."
Kameron turned innocent eyes toward me and flashed me his deep-pitted dimples. "What, baby? This is easy money."
"Can I talk to you alone for a minute?"
Irritation flashed in his eyes, but after a sec, he stood up and told the twins, "Y'all keep that money on the table, we'll be right back."
"We ain't goin' nowhere," Dwayne promised.
I quickly led the way back to our bedroom and when he closed the door, I let him have it. "What the hell is all that about?"
"What?"
"C'mon, don't play dumb. Why the hell are you telling them niggas about our business?"
Kameron's face hardened. "First of all: watch your tone. You talkin' to a grown-ass man and no bitch disrespects me -- especially in my own crib."
He glared so hard at me that an apology was out of my mouth before I could think better of it.
"Just don't let the shit happen again." In a flash he's all smiles and dimples. "Besides, what's the big deal? You give my boys a couple of blow jobs and we make some easy money."
"Because I ain't no chickenhead. I'm supposed to be your girl."
Kameron pulled my stiff body into his arms. " 'Course you're my girl." He pinched my ass cheeks. "You know how I feel about you. I love you."
It was the first time he actually said the words and I, like a fool, instantly melted in his embrace.
"Don't I treat you good?" he asked, kissing my forehead and then the tip of my nose. "Hmm?"
I nodded and then accepted his lips for a soul-stirring kiss. When I came up for air, I was literally dizzy.
"If you love me, then do this shit. Make this money."
I blinked out of my stupor, still confused, but then he said the magic words.
"It'll turn me on, watchin' you do your thang. Make them niggas jealous of what I got."
This wasn't about money. This was about fulfillin' a fantasy. I smiled back. "You sure this ain't gonna change the way you feel about me?"
Laughing, he said, "Nah, baby. If anything, it's gonna make me love you more."
That sealed the deal. When we walked back out into the living room, Kameron clapped and rubbed his hands together. "You niggas got my money ready?"
I'm more than surprised that while we were in the back talking, these niggas had stripped out of their clothes and were stroking their cocks in anticipation.
"Yeah, dawg. Let's get this shit on and poppin'," Darrien said, takin' my hand and pullin' me to the couch.
I glanced nervously at Kameron, but he was too busy countin' to make sure all the money was there.
Both brothers pulled me down to my knees and before I knew it, I had identical cocks staring me in the eyes.
"Go ahead, baby," Kameron encouraged. "I'm watching you."
Okay, this is a one-time fantasy, I told myself, wrapping my thick lips around the closest dick in front of me. I nearly gagged on the sour smell and bitter taste. I even tried to complain; but the horny twins clamped the back of my head down, and I barely had room to breathe, let alone speak.
Behind me, Kameron started coaching like this was an Olympic sport. I started sucking and slurping like my life depended on it, ping-ponging from one cock to another.
Turned out, a blow job wasn't all the brothers wanted. Next thing I knew, my clothes were being peeled off and dicks were being shoved in every available hole I had -- Kameron's dick included.
It was my first train and none of those niggas paid any attention to my tears....
Sighing, new tears streak down my face, and I rush to wipe them away before this fat fucker next to me says shit. He's already spillin' all into my seat, leavin' me and Tanana with less room.
Out the window, the bus roars past a sign welcomin' us to Georgia. I relax a little bit, feelin' freedom within my grasp, though I have no idea what I'll do if Kameron gets out of jail and decides to track me down.
If. I laugh at my stupid ass for using the word. It was more like when.
I lost count of how many times he told me he would kill me if I ever left, never mind he has plenty of girls hustlin' the streets and jockeyin' to take my place.
I just want the fuck out. Ain't it bad enough that I don't even know who the father of my baby is?
After I backhand a few more tears, Tanana wakes wailin' for a new bottle, but I don't have one to give her.
After twenty minutes of this a few riders shout, "Shut that damn kid up!"
"Fuck you, motherfuckers!" I ain't in the mood.
An hour later, the bus finally pulls in to the Atlanta bus station, and I struggle to get off with an army of bags and a screaming baby. Lord, what I wouldn't do for a hit about now.
I nearly break my back gettin' to the nearest MARTA bus station; all the while I'm pretendin' not to notice the funk coming from Tanana's diaper. A train ride and few bus transfers later on MARTA and I'm deposited outside the iron gates of Bentley Manor.
Motherfuckin' place ain't changed a bit.
The realization causes a wave of depression to crash through me. I walk through the gates and weave through a platoon of shaking crackheads like I'm a death row prisoner heading toward execution. When I finally stop in front of my grandma's door, my heart starts hammerin' and all I can do is stare at the door.
Before I muster the courage to knock, the knob rattles and the door swings open. After three long suffering years, I come face-to-face with my grandma Cleo. At her stunned expression I give a halfhearted cheer of, "Surprise!"
She looks faint.
Copyright © 2008 by Niobia Bryant and Adrianne Byrd
Excerpted from Shameless Hoodwives: A Bentley Manor Tale by Meesha Mink, Meesha Mink, De'nesha Diamond
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
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