Should I Stay Or Go? How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage

by Raffel, Lee

• ISBN13: 9780809225132
• ISBN10: 0809225131
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 1999-09-22
• Publisher: McGraw Hill

Summary

Until now, couples facing the dilemma of deciding whether or not to stay in an unhappy marriage had three options: individual or couples therapy, separation, or divorce.Should I Stay or Go?provides these couples with a fourth option--the Controlled Separation (CS).Should I Stay or Go?explains CS and shows how it can be used as a tool to help couples make the best decision for both partners.

Author Biography

Lee Raffel, M.S.W., is founder and clinical director of Awareness Counseling Services, Inc. She has counseled couples for more than 25 years using the CS method.

Table of Contents

Foreword	p. v
Preface	p. vii
Acknowledgments	p. ix
Breaking the Marital Impasse
Couples on the Cusp	p. 3
Your Travel Guide to Becoming Advocates	p. 17
Controlled Separation: A Breakthrough Solution	p. 29
Negotating a Controlled Separation Contract	p. 43
The CS Contract: Tale of a Tenacious Couple	p. 57
My Marriage Is Making Me Sick	p. 71
The Anatomy of Marital Separation	p. 87
The Trouble with Trial Separation	p. 99
In-House Separation: Upstairs/Downstairs Pals	p. 111
Relationship Transformation
Users, Abusers, Losers: Twisted Minds--Twisted Lives	p. 127
Broken Hearts, Broken Children: A Call for Compassion	p. 139
Money Counts: Different Hats/Different Spats	p. 153
Sexual Excesses: Perverse Pairs	p. 161
The Identity Crisis: Discovery-Zone Mates	p. 175
The Well-Kept Secret: Partners in the Dark	p. 189
Crippled by Rage and Remorse: Scarred Spouses	p. 203
From Blame to Forgiving: How Do I Know I Love Thee?	p. 217
Active Waiting: Hurry-Up and Slow-Down Partners	p. 227
Operating Instructions
The Good Divorce	p. 241
The Good Marriage	p. 255
Epilogue	p. 269
Author's Note	p. 271
Chapter Notes	p. 273
Selected Bibliography	p. 279
Recommended Readings	p. 283
Index	p. 287
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