The Simple Care of a Hopeful Heart Mentoring Yourself in Difficult Times

by Wicks, Robert J.

• ISBN13: 9780197515402
• ISBN10: 0197515401
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2021-12-01
• Publisher: Oxford University Press

Summary

In the end, it is not the amount of darkness in the world, our country, family or even within ourselves that matters-It is how we stand in that darkness that is crucial.

In light of this, the overall question addressed in this book is simple and challenging: How can we best mentor ourselves with the knowledge that already surrounds us so we learn and grow from the changes, stress, and even trauma, that we must face in today's uncertain times?

Underlying the book's overall message is the signature strength of humility because as the author emphasizes: When we take knowledge and add humility, we get wisdom, and when we then add this very wisdom to compassion, we get love... and love is at the heart of a rich, compassionate, and resilient life.

The book presents a series of 50 brief lessons on such topics as:

· Developing a renewed and deeper interest in creative approaches to self-care
· Overcoming resistance to change
· Ways to gain, maintain, and regain a healthy perspective
· Appreciating the advantages of the "psychological detours" forced on us in life
· How spending only 2 minutes each day in silence, solitude, and wrapped in gratitude can be transformative
· Understanding how we can best apply the principles of posttraumatic growth (PTG) to our own life situation
· Dealing effectively with necessary change and unexpected loss
· Recognizing the importance of pacing and timing in our interactions with others

Author Biography

Robert J. Wicks received his doctorate in psychology from Hahnemann Medical College and Hospital and is Professor Emeritus, Loyola University Maryland. Dr. Wicks has lectured on the importance of resilience, self-care, the prevention of secondary stress, and maintaining a healthy perspective in 20 different countries around the world as well as at the Mayo Clinic, Yale School of Nursing, the North American Aerospace Defense Command, Boston Children's Hospital, Harvard Divinity School, the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, the U.S. Air Force Academy, and on Capitol Hill to Members of Congress. and their Chiefs of Staff. He has written and edited dozens of books, most recently The Tao of Ordinariness (Oxford University Press, 2019) and Night Call: Embracing Compassion and Hope in a Troubled World (Oxford University Press, 2018).

Table of Contents

Introduction: Good News in the Making

50 Lessons in Self-Mentoring in Difficult Times
Chapter 1: "Hold on for the Next Supply"
Chapter 2: Unlearning
Chapter 3: The Two ViewsEL Both Are Real
Chapter 4: Maintaining a Healthy Perspective
Chapter 5: The Good and the Bad: Balancing Acts During Tough Times
Chapter 6: Necessary Bump in the Road
Chapter 7: During Uncertain Times, Don't Miss the Opening
Chapter 8: Five Simple Steps to Prevent Loss of Emotional Energy
Chapter 9: Taking the Little and Big Detours in Life
Chapter 10: The One Word We Need in Really Stressful Situations
Chapter 11: Only 2 Minutes? No Way! Yes, Way!!!
Chapter 12: Change and Loss
Chapter 13: Feeling Lost and Making Stupid Mistakes
Chapter 14: During Tough Times... You Owe it to Yourself
Chapter 15: Pacing and Timing: The Forgotten Key Factors
Chapter 16: Being Creative During an Extended Crisis is Great... But also Don't Forget the Basic
Chapter 17: Take a Break When Necessary... So You Can Continue to Be Involved
Chapter 18: The "Small Things" During a Crisis and its Aftermath
Chapter 19: Planning Versus Preoccupation: Very, Very Different
Chapter 20: Amazingly, Few Report This... But they do exist! I Have Seen Them
Chapter 21: I Must Remember That...
Chapter 22: The Blame Game
Chapter 23: Being Aware of the Dangers of Toxic Compassion
Chapter 24: Images of Goodness
Chapter 25: "Little" Memories that Bring Tears of Joy to My Life... Even Now
Chapter 26: An Unexpected Harvard Experience... Why Don't You Try It As Well?
Chapter 27: One of the Most Serious Blocks to Self-Mentoring
Chapter 28: Honoring Alonetime
Chapter 29: Avoid the 3 Blind Alleys
Chapter 30: Kindness Wears Many Different Types of Clothes
Chapter 31: A Very Dangerous Fear
Chapter 32: Eat the Food... Not the Menu!
Chapter 33: Being Friendly with Yourself: Failure and Self-Forgiveness
Chapter 34: Strengthening the Strong
Chapter 35: Mentally Moving in Uncertain Times
Chapter 36: Seeing through the Clouds
Chapter 37: "The Future Is Not What It Used to Be"
Chapter 38: A Strange Tension
Chapter 39: You've Got an Attitude!
Chapter 40: Personality Styles: Gifts and Deficits
Chapter 41: Becoming an Elder... Not Simply Older
Chapter 42: "Look Who's Talking!"
Chapter 43: What You Already KnowELIs the Problem
Chapter 44: Friendship's True Gift
Chapter 45: Isn't It Nice to Understand?
Chapter 46: The Holocaust and the Joy of a Healthy Perspective
Chapter 47: Standing in the Darkness
Chapter 48: Simple Graciousness
Chapter 49: Leaning Back to Find Openness, Possibility... and a Healthy Perspective
Chapter 50: A Refreshing Place of My Own

Epilogue: You're Stronger Swimming Upstream
Appendix: A Month of Minute Reminders