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Chapter One

Creating Freedom, Wealth,

and Power

Sisters Are Cashing In is about more than just money. It is about how women can get their lives in order, so they can have the freedom to be who they really are, do what they love for a living, have what they need when they need it, and make a contribution to the success of others. It's about being, doing, and having it all. Sisters Are Cashing In shows how to create freedom, wealth, and power from the inside out by integrating business and spiritual principles that focus on the mind, body, and spirit.

Sisters Are Cashing In will help you become free of worry about money and the financial bondage of having to work long and hard, and of having unnecessary expenses and uncomfortable debt. It is about creating a wealthy lifestyle free from the debilitating fear of losing your most cherished possessions that can be taken away from you by a fire or natural disaster, or the insecurity that can come from building your life around a job that can be lost through corporate downsizing. You will discover how to use money for happiness and fulfillment rather than temporary, fleeting pleasure. You also will stop using a lack of money as an excuse for not reaching your financial dreams. In the end, you will develop a sense of personal power, and your leadership will inspire and empower others.

HOW SISTERS ARE CASHING IN WAS DEVELOPED

About twenty years ago, I founded the National Association of Black Women Entrepreneurs (NABWE), an organization for Black women in business for themselves. I personally felt the need for the organization because I owned my own court reporting firm and found very few resources for Black women entrepreneurs. NABWE became an important resource and support network for many women, and eventually served as a template for other women's organizations.

When we had our meetings, women in business or interested in being in business shared their problems, challenges, successes, fears, and tears with me. Some would call wanting information about the Small Business Administration (SBA), and we would also talk about their families, poor credit, divorces, and anything else that was bothering them. I was also a leadership and business development consultant and trainer, so my experience made me a good listener and coach. Black women entrepreneurs, professionals, and corporate executives were not as common then as they are now. So, no matter what the problem, the women I spoke with felt excited and happy about their lives and the possibilities ahead of them because they were pioneers. They drew energy and purpose from doing something groundbreaking, important, and meaningful.

Over the years, I noticed a common theme emerging in my conversations and interactions with women in the business world. Many felt that although they seemed to have it all, they still wanted something else; something was missing in their lives. They were asking, "Is this it?" Or they were saying, " There's got to be a better way ." There were other women who couldn't figure out what they wanted. They were going from job to job, trying to find something more than they had. And there were those who had an inkling of what they wanted and how to go about it, but they feared they were in too much debt to even think about any new or creative venture. Some even felt that they did not deserve to have their dreams come true. All of these women had skills, education, and abilities to generate money, and were doing so successfully on various levels. Some ran their own small businesses. Several were high-ranking executives who oversaw major corporate divisions with multimillion-dollar budgets and dozens or hundreds of employees. Many had successful two-career marriages and wonderful children. Others were on the fast track in their chosen field and single by choice. Many were doing exactly what they'd dreamed of back in grade school or in their college dorm rooms. These were women who took good care of themselves on the outside, were well dressed and well groomed. They appeared to be perfect role models for success. Still, all these women complained that something was missing from their lives. Some fought confusion; others battled depression as they wondered what they could do to make their lives feel as complete as they appeared.

I began to share with them the experiences, principles, skills, and behaviors that worked in my life and in the lives of other Sisters who had found lasting fulfillment, rather than temporary gratification, while living their dreams. Much of what I shared with them came from experiences and decisions made in my own life, as well as from my education and training in personal and professional development. I shared career decisions I had made and how I came to make these decisions. I also shared the commitment that I had made to NABWE and its members. In the early years, much of my income went into the organization to keep it going. There were hard times: A White House invitation to meet with the president created the dilemma of putting the funds together for a trip that I couldn't turn down. But I was doing what I loved. I was doing what I believed in. I was on a mission. NABWE was my ministry, and that made everything worthwhile to me. It was vital to feel good about myself as a person, and I was committed to getting up each morning prepared to give my family, friends, clients, NABWE members, and others my best in every way.

The women I spoke with drew inspiration and empowerment from what we shared. Then they started referring others to me for the kind of coaching and inspiration that had helped them sort through crises in their lives. Coaching helped them define or redefine what they truly wanted to be, do, and have, and to identify the short- and long-term actions and activities that would produce the results they desired. These women found that they could begin to truly love themselves just the way they were, enjoy their work, their success, their relationships, and their lives. They realized they could have enough money not only to satisfy their needs but to satisfy their wants, too--some for the first time ever or for the first time in a very long time.

It quickly became apparent that women have questions, doubts, fears, and challenges in common that make our lives feel incomplete or unfulfilled, regardless of how much money we have. It does not have to be that way! For every woman who expressed dissatisfaction, I knew other women who were happy and thriving. The key difference between the two groups was that the unfulfilled women believed money or a man could buy or bring happiness, and the fulfilled women believed they contributed to their own happiness.

Sisters Are Cashing In is about finding that fulfillment on the inside. Your true self dwells on the inside. Your most honest thoughts, feelings, needs, and dreams are there. Your talent and other natural attributes spring from there, too. Inside is where your roots are, and they need to be tended and nutured with actions and pursuits that are consistent with your true self. This is often called authentic self-expression. When you ignore the roots of your authentic self or fail to tend to them properly, dissatisfaction takes hold and begins to wither your perspective, your spirit--indeed, your very being. Fulfilled women get that way by tending to their inner selves. Women who believe that grabbing onto money or a man will bring happiness do not get it. Even when they have huge bank accounts or good men in their lives, they remain dissatisfied. If they have no man or no money, they blame the lack of it for their problems.

One of the things I quickly discovered in working with businesswomen is that dissatisfaction or lack of success doesn't stem from a lack of money. Statistics bear this out. Sisters control or influence almost $400 billion as consumers. Sisters make money; they just don't hold onto it or manage it well. The problem is their attitude toward money and how they use it. Many spend to feel better about themselves, and go deeper and deeper in debt. They don't acknowledge the problem until they are seriously out of control, barely making it week to week, living hand to mouth, and robbing Peter to pay Paul. It becomes a vicious cycle: mounting debts affect self-esteem; they need to do something to enhance their feelings of self-worth; they buy more. They spend their cash or run up their credit cards. I believe there is a real connection between the way women work, the way they earn money, and the way they spend money. A Sister who is in a job that does not use her natural talents and abilities does not view her money with the same care as a Sister who is doing the work she loves. A Sister whose actions are not consistent with her beliefs or principles finds that money brings her no joy. Although Sisters control vast amounts of consumer dollars, internal factors contribute to mismanagement of those resources and leave us mired in poverty or a long, long way from our dreams.

Mismanagement is only one part of the unhealthy relationship that we have with money. Women need to start facing their finances in a conscious and consistent way. We need to give ourselves the luxury of not having to think about money so we are free to live our dreams, and are free from undue fear of poverty and isolation or destitution in our old age. Because of our poor relationship with money, we often live with poor financial, emotional, and physical health, feeling stressed, depressed, and sometimes hopeless. We spend all or most of the money we earn to slowly pay off debts. Too many of us have almost no money to provide us with our basic needs now and in our later years. According to national figures, Black women live longer and die poorer than any other segment of the U.S. population. Thus, some Sisters are cashing out, not cashing in.

We can change that. Sisters are better educated today than ever, with a record number graduating high school and college. We have more resources and opportunities. We have come a long way! There are more women on the Black Enterprise 100 List, in corporate boardrooms, and in the U.S. Congress. Sisters like Oprah Winfrey, U.S. Secretary of Labor Alexis M. Herman, Maxwell House executive Ann Fudge, Microsoft millionaire retiree Trish Millines, Essence editor Susan Taylor, Johnson Publishing President Linda Johnson Rice, author Maya Angelou, and many other leading Sisters are among the major players on the national and international scene. We have the power and resources to change things so we can enjoy our lives. And because Black women are often heads of households, when we lift ourselves, we also lift our families and our communities. By acting now, Black women can live wealthy and healthy lives in the new millennium.

WHAT CASHING IN MEANS

The philosophy of cashing in is simple. Cashing in means investing in yourself and your future. A Sister who cashes in feels good about herself, her life, her work, and her world. Cashing in helps Sisters perform with purpose and passion in all their roles: mother, wife, lover, daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, worker, boss, executive, entrepreneur, voter, volunteer, community leader, and everything else. In every role, the cashing-in Sister knows and achieves what makes her healthy, wealthy, wise, whole, complete, and fulfilled. She has ended her poor relationship with money by putting money into its proper context within her life.

This peace of mind and ability to manage money is available to all Sisters who are willing to do some work. You need only to be honest about what your dreams are, assess how far you are from those dreams, and determine what is needed to fill the gap. You can then develop a plan to bridge the gap between where you are now and where your dreams are waiting for you, then keep working your plan until you reach your goals and cash in.

Now, when most people talk about cashing in, they mean taking advantage of something, like an event, an opportunity, or, sometimes, a person. That is not what we're dealing with here. As you work your plan to cash in, you embark upon what I call a "wealth-creation journey" that enables you to gain both inner and external wealth. This journey will require you to believe in four basic principles that put joy in your daily life. Those four principles are love, energy, authenticity, and purpose. We have to love ourselves as we truly are, have energy for what we do, be authentic in our approach to life, be true to our word, and have a purpose and dream that make us want to be bigger than who we are, to achieve something that benefits more people than just ourselves. Together, these principles form the acronym LEAP, and you must take a leap to start you on your way to cashing in .

This book introduces you to women who have cashed out and many who are cashing in. Women who are cashing in do so by building their internal self first. They find their identity and value in themselves, not in money or external items. Women who cash out are on a money-go-round, where emotional baggage from the past weighs down their resources so that their money takes them in circles. They are constantly chasing money to have it, run around spending it, and chase it again to try and clear up debt. Those who cash out have allowed money to define who they are and what they are worth. Some of them are overearners: Sisters who earn money at the expense of others. Some are underearners and underspenders. Underearners are Sisters who don't value themselves enough to put the proper price tag on their abilities and don't earn what they are qualified for and worth, or who are struggling to gain skills and knowledge they assume they need rather than tapping into their God-given skills, talents, and abilities. Underspenders are Sisters who deny basic wants and needs because they don't feel entitled or deserving.

THE STEPS TO CASHING IN

Through a series of eight steps, this book shows what women can do to cash in. Those steps are See, Surrender, Shift, Simplify, Structure, Support, Share, and Shape the Future.

See : In the Seeing step, you will closely examine the reality of your world and the world around you. Many women have blind spots. They cannot or will not see the truth. Others have blinders that prevent them from seeing it. Blind spots and blinders can also hide your dreams from you. Sometimes, it's easy to lose track of your dreams in the routines of daily life. Can you see your dreams? Opening your eyes to the truth is the first step in seeing your dreams and making positive changes in your life to reach them.

Surrender : The Surrendering step helps you start this journey from where you are right now. You learn how to stop being a victim and how to stop beating up yourself for past mistakes. Think of it like this: There is probably something in your garage or in your closet right now that you could give away and never miss. However, because you hold on to it anyway, you can never make space for something new and wonderful. In Surrendering, you learn how to let go of bitterness, shame, guilt, regret, or how to accept them. Letting go or accepting frees space to allow new, positive things to come into your life as you embark upon your wealth-creation journey.

Shift : In Shifting, you will look at the difference between a Sister and a "Sista" to discover why some Black women live wealthy lives and others do not. A Sister will be committed to do what it takes to have what she wants. A "Sista" talks about what she wants but doesn't do anything about it, so she doesn't have anything. Choose to be a Sister, not a Sista.

The difference between being a Sista and being a Sister is a lot like the difference between a princess and a queen. Like a princess, a Sista is a girl who knows that she will get there, and is on her way, but has not arrived. She has power, but does not use it responsibly. She is often passive and petty. A Sista does not know how to learn from her pain or how to use her pain creatively. Instead, she uses it spitefully or destructively.

Now, a Sister is a queen. She is wise. A Sister has earned her serenity--it has not been bestowed on her--by having passed a personal challenge test. She has suffered and grown more beautiful because of it. Like a queen, a Sister has proved she can hold her kingdom together. She has become her vision. She cares deeply about something bigger than she is. She rules with authentic power. She realizes that one Sister's success is all Sisters' success, and she celebrates herself and others instead of criticizing and being jealous. A Sister works collaboratively with men and other women to forge partnerships and strategic alliances that benefit everybody.

To be a Sista is to play at life. To be a Sister is to be a serious player in life, playing to win, while having fun. In Shifting, you will begin to recognize strengths that will help you go from where you are to where you want to be, and areas that you will need to improve on to make that transition.

Simplify : Simplifying requires you to clearly identify your goals, wants, and dreams. Simplifying helps you to become uncluttered and sharpen your focus so that you can align your actions and activities to support your goals, wants, and dreams. The alignment occurs in the twelve key areas of your life: personal, interpersonal, organizational, spiritual, financial, mental, intellectual, emotional, physical, political, legal, and technical. Everything you do and need to handle falls into one of these areas. Some overlap while others stand alone. There might be times when one area takes on a higher priority than another. The birth of a baby, for example, puts more emphasis on the personal area and less on the job or organizational area during a maternity leave. By simplifying, you can achieve proper interrelatedness and balance among these areas.

Structure : Structuring helps you plot the route to accomplishing your goals and dreams. Structuring makes you accountable. Structuring helps translate what you want and need into actions and behaviors. It also looks at how to measure your progress and to be accountable for your results. If your goal is to complete a college degree, there might be things you need to do before you attend your first class, so that you can earn the grades required. You might need to use time management to add hours for class and study or arrange to have someone take over a time-consuming chore, like grocery shopping or cooking. Structuring starts with such basics, and helps you eliminate excuses and remove obstacles that impede progress.

Support : Supporting might present the biggest challenge for Sisters. Because women are used to going it alone or being the primary giver, we do not ask for help easily. I was like that for many, many years until I realized you go only so far independently, yet the sky is the limit when you work with another person or with a team. Partnering or collaboration allowed me to work with people who had expertise that I lacked and who were able to gain from my knowledge and experience. Cashing in is best achieved with company. There are many people you can support and whose support you can request. Everyone needs outside help and expertise sometimes. There is no shame in needing support. This step shows how to recognize when you need a helping hand and where to go for coaching and assistance.

Share : Sharing is an important part of cashing in . It includes tithing your time, talent, and treasures to help others. People get a special delight from giving of themselves and knowing that their contribution made a difference in someone's day or life. The joy can put a bounce in your step and make you more positive and productive.

Shape the Future : You help shape the future by involving your children in the lessons of cashing in and by leaving a legacy for them. Even young children can begin to apply the principals of love, energy, authenticity, and purpose in their own lives. Through your example and teachings, they also will learn the proper context for money. It is through Shaping the Future that you help break the cycle of generational poverty.

These eight steps are necessary to help you get unstuck and out of your rut, and to help you move to the next level of self-fulfillment, completion, and wholeness. All the steps require that you understand what your dreams are, so that they come true through the work you do. The steps also challenge you to think about freedom, wealth, and power--often in a different way than you are used to thinking of them.

In cashing in , you will seek the kind of wealth that springs from the very depths of your soul and washes your life in bliss! Women don't have to wait for someone else or something else to achieve wealth. Women make themselves wealthy by harnessing their personal power. The power comes from being true to your personal beliefs, values, and talents by expressing them in your actions.

In many instances, you must change what you do so that you can produce something different, better, or more. Change takes the old and fixes it. But sometimes change isn't enough and transformation must occur. Transformation is reinventing some of the old that worked and creating something new. Henry Ford could have changed the wheels on the horse and buggy; instead, he transformed it into a horseless carriage. To successfully cash in, you may need to reinvent yourself first. Reinvention draws on the past and the present to shape a new future.

Cashing in does not require you to be a financial wizard or even to have money in the bank. You can start this journey with the money in your purse right now. Cashing in requires you first to enrich yourself--your mind, body, and spirit. In many ways, Sisters Are Cashing In is about the core spirit, strength, character, and knowledge that we must have inside ourselves before we can start to give and get what we want and need from life. Material wealth is an outgrowth of inner power, not the source of it.

COMMITTING TO CASHING IN

To get the most from this book, you have to determine that the cost of getting what you want is worth it--the possible gains, issues, roadblocks, disappointments, and such. You have to be more than interested in cashing in . You have to be committed to cashing in . Committed to do what you say, regardless of feelings or circumstances. You might need to make sacrifices now to get what you want later. Will you give up an hour of TV to work on a personal development plan? Will you delay a shopping spree to invest in a class that upgrades your skills? Will you put aside baggage and blame that you've carried for years? The bottom line is, pay the price now or pay the penalties later in life with poor health or unfilled dreams. Cashing in will require an evaluation of yourself and of your roles and responsibilities as you create a new and better world for yourself.

Ask yourself, What's next? What future do I want to create? What's my dream for the rest of my life? How can I live my dreams? What do I want to give the world? What is holding me back? Is it me?

Remember that the wealth you achieve through cashing in is a wealth that is spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental as well as financial.

Sisters have the power. You bring valued diversity to Corporate America. Your skills, ideas, and talents make businesses stronger. You represent a huge consumer market. Companies want you to spend your money on their products and services. Information is also power. When you know how powerful you are, you can use the power to make your financial dreams come true.

START CASHING IN NOW

A banner that hung across the entry hall in my son's elementary school proclaimed, Your "I Will" is more important than your "IQ." This statement underscores how determination and commitment can help any person achieve great and sometimes unbelievable feats. To paraphrase that banner, Your "I Will" is more important than your "Income." Whatever amount you have in your purse right now, you have enough to make your financial dreams come true, because Sisters Are Cashing In will help you develop into a woman who can build wealth by leveraging your existing resources. Begin from where you are right now and work to have a breakthrough to your next level. Do not judge your future worth by the money in your purse. Madame C.J. Walker became the first self-made female millionaire in the United States, and she started her empire with less than two dollars. Money did not finance her dream. Love, energy, authenticity, and purpose did. Madame Walker took the LEAP; you can, too.

I AM ON THE JOURNEY, TOO

My first job after high school was as a secretary at General Motors Corporation. Even though I didn't quite understand it at the time, I remember the pride my family and extended family shared when I attained the title, "one of the first Black female secretaries for the General Motors Corporation." At eighteen, I was more interested in money than milestones, and soon after my first paycheck, I realized I wanted to do something different with my life. Because I could type and take shorthand, a friend suggested that I become a court reporter, because the job paid "a lot of money." That was all I needed to hear. The prospect of "a lot of money" motivated me to change careers, and I enrolled in college for the courses that would make me a court reporter. I met the requirements, and the state of Michigan issued me a license as a Certified Court Reporter. The money began rolling in. Besides getting a salary, I earned fees for transcripts. Attorneys ordered lots of copies, and I got to charge for every page.

However, I didn't like my 8-5 court reporting job. It boxed me in too much. I loved to talk and interact with people--things court reporters do not get to do since most of the job requires listening to testimony, creating an accurate record of proceedings, and making transcripts. With each passing year, I grew more unhappy and felt unfulfilled internally. When I tried to explain my dissatisfaction to my family and friends, most of them felt no sympathy for me. They saw me as making--and spending--lots of money. Based on what they could see, I had no reason to complain. On the inside, though, I felt trapped. I didn't really enjoy my job anymore, but I needed it to pay my bills.

After several years, I realized that I wasn't doing what I loved to do. In order to do what I enjoyed, interacting with others, I started teaching court reporting at a community college and attending career development seminars. The seminars helped me realize that I was doing court reporting just for the money, and what I truly loved was working more directly with people.

I quit my job and opened a court reporting firm, which allowed me to interact with people because I was managing a business, not taking testimony and doing transcripts.

I've been on a perpetual personal and professional journey for almost three decades now. In the process I've studied many business and spiritual philosophies, earned three business degrees, and been honored to share my beliefs in seminars and workshops with thousands of women and men across the country. On the journey, I've learned to accept and love myself by honoring and sharing my God-given skills, talents, and abilities while loving, teaching, inspiring, and empowering others in my work and in my life.

I continue to learn lessons as I serve in the competitive business world. I've learned that personal and professional mastery go hand in hand when you want to achieve the best performance for your life and your bottom line. A mastery in both brings a sense of effortlessness and joyousness, which stems from your ability and willingness to understand and work with the forces around you. Personal and professional mastery are major ingredients in creating wealth and making your financial dreams come true.

My growth and development continue to be shaped by my life experiences. Through the years, I have learned to stay true to myself while accomplishing results and building relationships. Often, that means I am viewed as independent, sometimes as too independent, by people who want me to participate in things that I consider more political than ethical. But it has given me freedom, wealth, and power. I know who I am and what I stand for, and I am consistent in my beliefs and actions. Because I am on the journey, I continue to be tested, too.

Several years ago, I was talking regularly to a friend about some uncertainties he was experiencing in his life. He was in love with a wonderful woman. He had questions about building and maintaining a relationship. When he turned to me for coaching, I referred him to a particular seminar series I had heard about. He wanted to know if I had attended them. My response was, "I don't go to those kinds of seminars; I conduct them." It was a very arrogant reaction, but I truly felt that way at the time. I had been a professional trainer for years. While a seminar on new training disciplines or business topics might interest me, another seminar about relationships did not. But as we talked over the next several weeks, my reaction changed. I came to see that he and I shared some issues that created unnecessary stumbling blocks in our lives.

Eventually, I went to the same seminar series that I'd recommended to my friend. It was a perfect format for exploring issues that I'd buried inside myself. It also reminded me that we all need help and support from others sometimes. You see, although I appeared successful to the world, there were things inside myself that made me feel less than successful and that kept me from enjoying my success. I needed to spend as much time on personal mastery as I was spending on professional mastery, not only to reach my dreams but to live them.

My ongoing growth and development led me to the cashing in philosophy. Unless we have love, peace, and joy inside us, we cannot have freedom, wealth, and power. My reason for writing this book is to share that important message. When my message helps one Sister, who in turn helps another, I will have achieved my purpose.

I invite you to come along on the wealth-creation journey with me. You will find it helpful to keep a journal as a record, because this journey will be the catalyst for an extraordinary difference in your life. The journey will require reflection, introspection, action, and transformation. It will help you to reconnect to your lifelong dreams, to what you really wanted to do, be, and have before you lost your dreams in the struggles for daily survival.

My belief is that wealth, freedom, and power are available to everyone. I have consciously been on the wealth-creation journey for almost three decades, and yes, Sisters, we have made progress. In the 1970s, we were focused on surviving. The economic recession made it a hard time for most of us, whether we were working for others or working in our own firms. In the 1980s, we were surviving and succeeding. The economy had picked up, and strong affirmative action programs made government agencies and Fortune 500 companies provide real opportunities to women, Blacks, Latinos, and other minorities as employees and as business owners for the first time. In the 1990s, we were making success happen. We put the first Black woman in space--Mae Jemison--and in the U.S. Senate--with Carol Moseley-Braun. The twenty-first century, the new millennium, will be the era of enrichment for us. It will include transformation and contribution as you bring other Sisters and family along on the journey. Only by working together can women build community and a new spirit, new care, new communication, new commitment, new strength, new conviction, and a new attitude as more Sisters start cashing in .

Foreword	p. ix
Acknowledgments	p. xi
Prologue	p. xix
Creating Freedom, Wealth, and Power	p. 1
How You Can Cash In	p. 23
The Power of Change: When Nickels, Dimes, and Quarters Make Women Millionaires	p. 37
Your Relationship with Money: Understanding Past Influences and Present Behavior	p. 49
The Money-Go-Round: How to Get Off So Your Financial Dreams Can Come True	p. 71
The Sister Cashing In: The Qualities of a Successful, Enterprising Woman	p. 87
Taking the LEAP: Love, Energy, Authenticity, and Purpose	p. 99
Your Starting Point on the Wealth-Creation Journey	p. 115
Seeing: The Truth Shall Set You Free	p. 127
Surrendering: Let Go and Let God	p. 145
Shifting: The Be-Do-Have Paradigm	p. 163
Simplifying: Achieving Harmony in Your Life	p. 175
Structuring: A Frame for Your Life	p. 187
Supporting: Having Company on Your Journey	p. 195
Sharing: The More You Give, the More You Get	p. 205
Shaping the Future: We're All One	p. 211
Resources	p. 217
Index	p. 227
Table of Contents provided by Syndetics. All Rights Reserved.

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Sisters Are Cashing In How Every Woman Can make Her Financial Dreams Come True

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