The Smart Love Parent

by Pieper, Martha Heineman

• ISBN13: 9780974937304
• ISBN10: 0974937304
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2005-02-28
• Publisher: Innova Pub Llc

Summary

Should you feed your baby whenever she wants or put her on a schedule? Do you impose consequences on children who don't do their homework or clean up their room, or do you help them with chores and homework? Should you respond to the difficult adolescent with tender love or tough love?

Table of Contents

Preface	xiii
Introduction: What Is The Smart Love Parent?	xvii
The Basics of Smart Love	1	(12)
Your Child's Inner Happiness	2	(1)
The All-Powerful Self and the Competent Self	3	(2)
Why Children Become Unhappy and Difficult	5	(2)
Loving Regulation	7	(5)
Redefining Independence	12	(1)
Smart Love in Action	13	(25)
Balancing Parenting Aims and Personal Desires	13	(2)
Understanding the Roots of Inner Unhappiness	15	(5)
How to Know When Your Child's Unregulated Behavior Is Caused by Inner Unhappiness	20	(1)
Handling Caregiving Lapses	21	(3)
When Parents Find It Difficult to Enjoy Their Children	24	(5)
Parental Kindness Does Not Always Promote Emotional Growth	29	(4)
Environment Counts, Too	33	(3)
Parents Are Not to Blame	36	(2)
Recognizing and Reversing Children's Inner Unhappiness	38	(27)
Inner Unhappiness Makes Children Especially Vulnerable to Life's Ups and Downs	38	(3)
Symptoms of Inner Unhappiness	41	(3)
The Desire for Unhappiness	44	(5)
Every Child Is Born with the Potential for Inner Happiness	49	(2)
How to Help Your Child Choose and Become the Person She Wants to Be	51	(2)
Stopping the Roller Coaster of Inner Unhappiness	53	(4)
Loving Regulation for the Child with Inner Unhappiness	57	(6)
Parents Hold the Key to Human Happiness	63	(2)
The First Year: Smart Loving Your Baby	65	(24)
Your Infant's Point of View: The Meaning of Her Cries	65	(4)
Your Infant's Point of View: The Meaning of Being Fed	69	(2)
How to Help Your Baby Put Herself to Sleep Happy	71	(1)
Developmental Milestone: Your Baby Smiles at You	72	(1)
Developmental Milestone: Stranger Anxiety	72	(1)
Developmental Milestone: Separation Anxiety	73	(2)
Don't Measure Your Child's Behavior by Adult Standards	75	(1)
Returning to Work	76	(5)
Developmental Milestone: Your Baby ``Talks'' to You	81	(2)
Your Infant's Point of View: Trying Is Learning	83	(1)
Developmental Milestone: The Mobile Baby	84	(1)
Smart Loving the Infant Who Suffers from Inner Unhappiness	85	(4)
Ages One to Three: Smart Loving Your Toddler or Preschooler	89	(40)
Developmental Milestone: Your Child's Primary Happiness Becomes Unshakable	89	(1)
Your Child's Point of View: Wanting and Needing Extra Attention	90	(4)
Developmental Milestone: The Appearance of Secondary Happiness	94	(5)
The Smart Love Parent Perspective: The Value of the All-Powerful Self	99	(1)
Loving Regulation for Your Toddler or Preschooler	99	(5)
How to Make Your Toddler's or Preschooler's Day Run Smoothly and Happily	104	(3)
How to Help Your Child When He Can't Have What He Wants	107	(2)
How to Help the Child Who Has a Bad Dream	109	(2)
How to Help the Child Who Resists Bedtime	111	(2)
Developmental Milestone: Choosing to Use the Toilet	113	(3)
How Many Friends Does Your Toddler or Preschooler Need?	116	(5)
Teaching and Learning with Smart Love	121	(1)
Smart Loving the Toddler or Preschooler Who Suffers from Inner Unhappiness	122	(7)
Ages Three to Six: Smart Loving Your Young Child	129	(27)
Starting School	129	(6)
What to Do When Your Child Bends the Truth	135	(2)
How to Choose Books, Movies, and TV Shows That Are Appropriate for Your Child's Age	137	(1)
When Your Child Reacts Angrily to Frustration	138	(1)
How to Motivate Your Young Child to Help Out	139	(1)
Developmental Milestone: The Romantic Child	139	(7)
Developmental Milestone: The Relationship Ideal	146	(1)
Smart Loving the Three-to Six-Year-Old Who Suffers from Inner Unhappiness	147	(9)
Ages Six to Twelve: Smart Loving Your Older Child	156	(20)
School Days	156	(3)
How to Choose Rules and Regulations That Are Appropriate for the Six-to Twelve-Year-Old	159	(5)
Friendship	164	(3)
Puberty	167	(1)
Smart Loving the Six-to Twelve-Year-Old Who Suffers from Inner Unhappiness	168	(8)
Smart Loving Your Adolescent	176	(19)
The Goal of Adolescence Is Stable Secondary Happiness	176	(3)
How to Help Your Adolescent Attain Genuine Independence	179	(2)
How to Respond to the Teen Who ``Knows Everything''	181	(1)
Don't Stand By and Watch Teens Fail	182	(2)
How to Choose Appropriate Rules and Regulations for Adolescents	184	(4)
Your Child: A Friend for Life	188	(1)
Smart Loving the Adolescent Who Suffers from Inner Unhappiness	189	(6)
Special Circumstances	195	(10)
Smart Loving Your Adopted Child	195	(3)
Nontraditional Families and the Romantic Phase	198	(2)
How to Help the Child Who Has Problems Learning	200	(1)
The Importance of Avoiding Brain-Altering Medications	201	(4)
Afterword	205	(2)
The Smart Love Parent: Your Companion on Your Child's Journey to Adulthood	205	(2)
Notes	207	(2)
Glossary	209	(4)
Index	213	(7)
About the Authors	220