Starting Kids off Right : How to Raise Confident Children Who Can Make Friends and Build Healthy Relationships

by Nowicki, Stephen

• ISBN13: 9781561454471
• ISBN10: 1561454478
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2008-10-01
• Publisher: Peachtree Pub Ltd

Summary

Few things cause parents more worry than whether their children have friends and are well integrated into their social communities. While some kids seem to relate to others and make friends easily, others have more difficulty. A small number of children remain friendless or struggle to make and keep friends. In STARTING KIDS OFF RIGHT, clinical psychologists Stephen Nowicki, Marshall Duke, and Amy Van Buren offer parents, teachers, and caregivers insights-gathered from decades of professional experience-into the hows and whys of relationship building from infancy up to the age of twelve. Written in easy-to-understand, jargon-free language, the book begins with overviews of social development, human relationship theory, and the role of nonverbal language in forming relationships. The book is then broken down into chapters by developmental stages: infancy (birth to two years), childhood (two to five years), and juvenile era (five to ten years).Within each section the authors look at the expectations and opportunities-as well as special challenges-of building, deepening, and keeping relationships at every stage of child development. To make the text even more accessible, they have included numerous illustrative scenarios and exercises called "parent skill builders." The result is an easy-to-use guide that clearly demonstrates techniques for assessing a child's strengths and weaknesses in developing relationships. It shows parents how to start kids off right with healthy relationship-building skills, as well as how to help their children become more confident in using those skills as they mature.

Table of Contents

Introduction
What Are Relationships and How Do They Work?	p. 1
Sullivan's theory of human relationships	p. 4
First Stage: Infancy (birth to two years)	p. 5
Second Stage: Childhood (two to four or five years)	p. 7
Third State: Juvenile Era (about five to ten years)	p. 9
Later Stages of Development (about nine to early adolescence)	p. 11
The four phases of a relationship	p. 12
The Choice Phase	p. 13
The Beginning Phase	p. 14
The Deepening Phase	p. 16
The Ending Phase	p. 18
What's next?	p. 20
The Language of Relationships	p. 21
How language works	p. 23
Nonverbal communication and relationships	p. 25
Major types of nonverbal behavior	p. 29
Facial Expression	p. 29
Paralanguage	p. 33
Personal Space	p. 36
Touch	p. 38
Posture	p. 39
Gesture, Objectics, and Rhythm	p. 41
What's next?	p. 43
Infancy (Birth to Two Years)	p. 45
Order and predictability	p. 46
Locus of Control	p. 48
Locus of Control Scale for Adults	p. 50
A sense of self	p. 56
Using Nonverbal Language To Build a Strong Sense of Self	p. 58
The Adult's Self-Concept	p. 61
A secure attachment relationship	p. 63
How Attachment Relationships Develop	p. 64
Fostering a Secure Attachment Relationship	p. 73
What's next?	p. 79
Childhood (Two to Five Years)	p. 81
Parents, children, and the attachment relationship	p. 82
Setting the Tone for Learning How To Relate	p. 83
Helping Kids Move from Dependence Toward Independence	p. 85
Creating a Holding Environment	p. 86
Fostering a Secure Attachment Relationship in Young Children	p. 88
Repairing the Attachment Relationship	p. 92
Spending Time with Your Children	p. 96
Breaking the Cycle of Unhealthy Parenting	p. 98
Learning to relate through communication	p. 103
Communicating with Words	p. 104
Communicating Without Words: Reading and Sending Nonverbal Cues	p. 106
Understanding Feelings	p. 113
Learning to relate through play	p. 116
Setting the Stage for Play	p. 116
Practicing Social Skills Through Play	p. 117
Learning the Rules of Peer Relationships Through Play	p. 119
Fostering "Good" Play in Children	p. 122
Repairing Problems in Children's Play Skills	p. 128
What's next?	p. 129
The Juvenile Stage (Five to Ten Years)	p. 131
Learning to make friends among peers	p. 134
Establishing a healthy sense of control	p. 177
Conclusion	p. 181
Selected Bibliography	p. 186
Acknowledgments	p. 189
Index	p. 190
About the Authors	p. 195
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