Stop Saying You're Fine The No-BS Guide to Getting What You Want

by Robbins, Mel

• ISBN13: 9780307716736
• ISBN10: 0307716732
• Edition: Reprint
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2012-06-12
• Publisher: Harmony

Summary

Right now, over 100 million Americans secretly feel frustrated and bored with their lives. You may be one of them if *you've come to regard yourself as your own worst enemy *you've developed a commute-work-commute-sleep routine that seems endless *you and your significant other treat each other like roommates *you constantly daydream and wonder, Is this all there is? *you sense a potentially hot relationship with someone next door, down the hall, or in the adjacent cubicle but somehow it never happens *you worry that no matter what you do to stay in shape, the battle is already lost *you have a tendency, when asked how you're doing, to just say, Fine. If any of the above sounds familiar, there's clearly something missing from your life. This book will help you discover what it is, and how to win it back. Written by Mel Robbins, one of America's top relationship experts and radio/tv personalities, this hands-on guide not only shows you how to put your finger on the problem, it reveals what to do about it. Mel Robbins has spent her career teaching people how to push past their self-imposed limits to get what they truly desire. She has an in-depth understanding of the psychological and social factors that repeatedly hold you back, and more important, a unique set of tools for getting you where you want to be. In Stop Saying You're Fine, she draws on the latest neuroscientific research, interviews with countless everyday people, and ideas she's tested in her own life to show what works and what doesn't. The key, she explains, is understanding how your own brain works against you. Because evolution has biased your mental gears against taking action, what you need are techniques to outsmart yourself. That may sound impossible, but Mel has created a remarkably effective method to help you do just that -- and some of her discoveries will astonish you. By ignoring how you feel and seizing small moments of rich possibility a process she calls leaning in you can make tiny course directions add up to huge change. Among this book's other topics: how everything can depend on not hitting the snooze button; the science of connecting with other people, what children can teach us about getting things done; and why five seconds is the maximum time you should wait before acting on a great idea. Blending warmth, humor and unflinching honesty with up-to-the-minute science and hard-earned wisdom, Stop Saying You're Fine moves beyond the platitudes and easy fixes offered in many self-help books. Mel's insights will actually help vault you to a better life, ensuring that the next time someone asks how you're doing, you can truthfully answer, Absolutely great.

Author Biography

Mel Robbins is the host of Monster In-Laws, a series on the AE Network, and gives advice on her syndicated radio show, The Mel Robbins Show. A lawyer-turned-life coach, she's also a columnist at Success magazine and a working mom. She lives with her family in Massachusetts.

Table of Contents

Introduction	p. 1
Why You Aren't Getting What You Want
Stop Hitting the Snooze Button	p. 7
Anti-Actions, Fake Limits, and Other Ways Your Brain Betrays You	p. 37
Routines: Why Your Freedom Depends on Breaking Them	p. 73
HOW to Outsmart Your Brain	p. 92
The Method for Becoming Powerful and Getting What You Want
Step 1: Face It, You Are Not Fine	p. 107
Step 2: Admit What You Want	p. 129
Step 3: Go Public with What You Want	p. 152
Step 4: Zoom Out and Create a Map	p. 171
Step 5: Lean In to Change	p. 190
Finding the Stamina to Keep Getting What You Want
Push Through the Mental Walls That Block Your Path	p. 205
The Seven-Day Stamina Challenge	p. 234
Conclusion	p. 242
Appendix	p. 251
Acknowledgments	p. 257
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

Excerpts

CHAPTER ONE

Stop Hitting the Snooze Button

Gain Power by Taking Action

There are some days when you just feel more powerful. You force yourself to get up early and break a sweat before everyone else wakes up. That sets the tone for the rest of your day. Your coffee tastes especially good, and the commute doesn't suck. At work, you go the extra mile on a project and come off looking like a hero. Afterward, you meet some friends whom you haven't seen in months, and have a couple of drinks on an outdoor deck in the cool summertime air. Someone hands you tickets he couldn't use. You embrace spontaneity and go see a great show. Afterward, you drive home by moonlight, have great sex, and drift off to sleep on a cloud.

We've all had days when we feel excited about our lives. We feel young, confident, and alive. Everything clicks. We feel like we're going somewhere, like we have momentum. We become more powerful versions of ourselves.

The powerful you is always there waiting and you can tap it anytime you want, if you know how. It's the part of you that loves discovery, curiosity, challenges, exercise, connecting with other people, checking off goals, taking action, heading somewhere, and talking out loud. It is a force inside you that wants to grow, move, and expand.

At the same time, there's an equal and opposite force that works inside you to hold you back. You were born with resistance. It's an inner, evolutionary bias to take the safe bet, the sure thing, the known path. Whenever you're feeling bored, bummed, or broken, resistance is winning in your life. Resistance loves surfing the Web, vegging out in front of the TV, sticking to routine, not picking up the phone, hitting snooze, avoiding confrontation, making excuses, rumination, and isolation.

Resistance will keep you in place; the powerful you will push you ahead. You will always feel tension between these two forces, between your current life and your desire for more. The direction you choose is entirely up to you. Every single day of your life, you have the choice to stay where you are or move your life in new directions. The question is, Will the powerful you awaken and start taking action, or will you wait just a little longer and delay the joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment you deserve?


From the Hardcover edition.