Stop Second-Guessing Yourself

by Singer, Jen

• ISBN13: 9780757306532
• ISBN10: 0757306535
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2009-04-01
• Publisher: Hci

Summary

When it comes to raising a toddler, forget about "what to expect" it's the unexpected that transforms calm, collected women into frazzled, fried moms. If only "Momma Said" there'd be days like this. Then again, life was different back then. Enter MommaSaid.net. Created in 2003 by "Momma of two young boys" Jen Singer as a virtual community for full- and part-time stay-at-home mothers, this hilarious and helpful website continues to reach hundreds of thousands of moms across the globe. Now, all the tips and secrets, stories and advice birthed at the site and then some can be found on the pages of this validating, real guide for women. Mommasaid.net's Stop Second-Guessing Yourself offers today's moms a chance to ditch the guilt as they laugh and learn about raising pint-sized people called toddlers. Mommas will discover: Practical, honest advice for resolving sleep issues How to take toddlers on the go even if a meltdown occurs (and it will!) "Gated community" tips for keeping toddler safe in and outside the home 15 real signs that a toddler is ready for potty training and how to make it a successful experience for all 12 things to do when trapped in the house with a toddler The skinny on what moms across the country (the real experts!) feel about using TV as an occasional "babysitter,' being too tired for sex, and the real rules of playdates (for the moms)

Author Biography

Jen Singer is the author of You're a Good Mom and 14 Hours Til Bedtime. She writes the Good Grief blog for Good Housekeeping.com. Jen has written for or served as a resource in The New York Times, The CBS Evening News, CBS The Early Show, Good Day New York, Parents TV, USA Today, The Chicago Tribune, The Los Angeles Times, The Washington Post, Associated Press, Family Circle, American Baby, Parenting, Parents, and more. She is the creator of www.MommaSaid.net, the back fence of the Internet.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	p. ix
Introduction	p. xi
When Your Baby Isn't a Baby Anymore: Transitioning to Toddlerhood	p. 1
Like Herding Cats: Taking Your Toddler on the Go	p. 19
If You'll Just Go to Sleep, I'll Take You to Disney World in the Morning: Sleep Issues	p. 35
The Most Labor-Intensive Milestone: Potty Training Your Toddler	p. 53
Your New Gated Community: Keeping Your Toddler Safe in and Outside the Home	p. 73
Beyond Mac 'n' Cheese: Feeding Your Toddler	p. 97
You've Got a Friend: Your Toddler's Playdates and Playgroups	p. 111
Who Is This Kid and Why Is He Calling Me "Mommy"? Discipline and Dealing with the Unpredictable Nature of Toddlers	p. 127
Beyond Blue's Clues: Entertaining Your Toddler	p. 147
All in the Family: Your Toddler's Siblings Grandparents, and Other Family Members	p. 165
Pick, Pick, Pick: The Milestones You Don't Want to Share with Grandma	p. 187
Bwess You: When Your Toddler Is Sick and (Inevitably) When You Are, Too	p. 205
But What About...? Extra Help for Parents of Multiples, Stay-at-Home Moms, Starting Day Care, and Other Special Situations	p. 221
Bye-Bye!	p. 237
Index	p. 241
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

Excerpts

Introduction

When I launched MommaSaid.net, my website for beleaguered moms who could really use a laugh, I had just survived the toddler years, but I was still reeling from the sleepless nights, potty-training setbacks, and toys and household items stuffed into the oddest nooks and crannies. I was relieved to find that other moms also felt as though the toddler years were a lot like Mr. Toad's Wild Ride: harrowing, yet often amusing, and always full of surprises.

Through the years, the MommaSaid community has generously shared war stories, tips, advice, and commiseration when it comes to those pint-size people we call toddlers, one- to three-year-old children who act a lot like little drunks: overly affectionate one minute, belligerent and incoherent the next, as they stumble toward the door.

Though it's been a few years since I was the mom of toddlers—with two of them under the same roof—it all came back to me when I watched my nephew, a toddler who is rarely still for more than a moment, do something none of the other kids in the family had tried: he picked up an ornately painted ceramic egg—the oh-so-fragile one from Germany—while we grown-ups all held our breath. 'Ball,' he announced. My sister-in-law tried to get to him, but Blam! He dropped it on the ground. He looked over the tiny pieces on the floor and said, 'Broke ball.'

And then it hit me: that's exactly the sort of thing that no one tells you about the toddler years, let alone what to do about it. I knew it was time to put together the kind of back-fence advice for surviving the toddler years that I've included on MommaSaid into one easy-to-read guidebook.

Here, I'll give you the big picture on parenting toddlers in a way that you haven't seen before. Throughout the book, ­MommaSaid's readers provide their own mom-tested tips that will prove handy when you're staring down a temper tantrum or trying to get your toddler to nap. It's like we're meeting at the proverbial back fence and, mom-to-mom, going through all the things that keep us up at night when it comes to toddlers, from tots who scale safety gates to that hideous shrieking noise your two-year-old has taken a liking to.

You might have a different experience with certain aspects of raising toddlers, and you'll no doubt have your own advice to give to friends who have toddlers now or whose babies are about to reach that first birthday, when so many changes begin. You're no doubt finding out that's when much of what a mom has already learned gets thrown out the window, likely along with a shoe and a sippy cup. (Go check. I'll wait.)

Whether every word is eye-opening or simply a reassuring pat on the back, remember one very important thing while you're parenting toddlers: you're not the only one going through it, no matter how lonely it feels at times. Whenever you need a pick-me-up, flip through this guide or drop by MommaSaid.net for laughs and validation. You know, just as soon as you dig your computer's mouse out of the toy box. (Go check. I'll wait.)

Been There, Done That

It was the scariest Halloween party I'd ever been to, but I was the only one who was frightened. I was wrangling my one-year-old, who had a poopy diaper trapped in a dragon costume with no snaps, in a public bathroom with no changing table. Outside the bathroom and across a stuffy room filled with children hopped up on Smarties, my unsupervised two-and-a-half-year-old, in a hard hat and overalls, was reaching for a plate of cupcakes smothered in chocolate icing. I realized then, I've got two toddlers now. One toddler had been tough enough, but two would surely kill me. Or so I thought.

Sweat poured down my back as I struggled to get my fidgety one-year-old out of his costume and onto the paper towels I had spread out on the grimy bathroom floor. I kept checking on my two-and-a-half-year-old, who was shoving his fingers into each and every cupcake, which had been placed at eye-level by some foolish mother who obviously had just one (freakishly inactive) kid to oversee.

By the time I cleaned up the poopy mess and rediapered and redressed my dragon, my little Bob the Builder was covered in chocolate frosting and rainbow sprinkles. So I hoisted my one-year-old up and carried him on my hip like a log, waded through the sea of children, grabbed my older toddler's wrist, and dragged him into the bathroom. While I was busy wiping the chocolatey mess off his hands, face, and hard hat, my younger toddler drifted away. Two minutes later, I found him playing in the toilet. I wondered aloud, 'Does this party have an open bar?'

By the time we left the mothers' group-sponsored 'fun-filled' Halloween party, I had silver glitter glue all over my brand-new olive-colored pants, a squirmy twenty-five-pound kid under one arm, two (still wet) painted pumpkins under the other, and a cranky kid who didn't like being corralled—by my feet—throughout the parking lot. When we got home, nap time was long over, even though no one had napped, and Trick or Treaters were already arriving at my door.

That was the day that I discovered that my baby wasn't a baby anymore—and that I probably wouldn't sit down for two more years at least. Soon I'd find out that whenever I took my toddlers to a playground, one would run in one direction and the other would run the opposite way, as though they repelled each other like two negatively charged magnets in fifth-grade science class. Meanwhile, I would run around in circles, trying to keep them from tumbling head-over-butt down the slide or from throwing my car keys down a drainage ditch while fiendishly giggling in my direction like a bad guy in a Batman movie or John Malkovich.

If you have a toddler, you know what I mean. When she was a baby, your kid, with her odd hours and inability to communicate that there's an irritating wood chip in her sock, certainly presented challenges. But your toddler? Well, she's something altogether different. Something that walks, talks, and relocates the bookmark you had placed in your novel last night to someplace you'd never think to look. Something small, but quick, especially in a crowded mall. Something that wants a hot dog and wants it right now! Something Momma never warned you about.

By the time you're speculating how to diffuse a full-out, knock-down display of Terrible Twos in the lobby at the local movie theater on a crowded holiday weekend, you're knee-deep in the toddler years, and all the sudden mood changes, sticky door handles, and 'Get down from there!' frustrations that go with them. And boy, could you use a little help. I'll help you figure out how to handle them.

©2009. Jen Singer. All rights reserved. Reprinted from Stop Second-Guessing Yourself--The Toddler Years. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Health Communications, Inc., 3201 SW 15th Street, Deerfield Beach, FL 33442