Strategies for Building Successful Relationships with People on the Autism Spectrum

by King, Brian R.; Willey, Liane Holliday; Giurleo, Susan

• ISBN13: 9781849058568
• ISBN10: 1849058563
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2011-10-15
• Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Pub

Summary

Containing life-changing strategies and solutions, this book will enable everyone who knows, lives with, or works with an individual with autism to achieve meaningful relationships that foster cooperation and mutual respect.

Author Biography

Brian R. King is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and an international consultant on autism spectrum disorder. His social work practice focuses exclusively on working with the autism community. He resides in Chicago, IL.

Table of Contents

Foreword	p. 13
Foreword	p. 17
Acknowledgments	p. 21
Introduction	p. 23
What It Feels Like to Be on the Autism Spectrum
We Have Autism	p. 33
It started with my son	p. 33
It's called Asperger's	p. 35
I have Asperger's?	p. 36
Determined to feel other than disordered	p. 38
How I made peace with my school years	p. 40
Grade school bullies	p. 42
Middle school	p. 44
I finally fought back	p. 46
High school	p. 49
My high school legacy	p. 50
Congratulations, it's cancer	p. 51
I Made Myself a Promise	p. 53
Why college was almost an ending instead of a beginning	p. 55
Not cut out for social work	p. 56
I'm going to be a father	p. 57
My spectrum mind gets to shine	p. 58
My first job as a social worker	p. 61
My family in crisis	p. 62
Another door opens	p. 63
Tragedy leads to opportunity	p. 64
It's All About Calm and Focus	p. 67
What it means for him	p. 68
Change isn't the problem	p. 69
Stimming is a must	p. 70
Respecting his style	p. 71
Finding focus	p. 73
Losing focus	p. 75
Classroom contradictions	p. 76
Keeping it together	p. 78
Finding his way	p. 79
It Takes Strength to Connect with You	p. 81
Connecting by choice	p. 82
Connection is exhausting	p. 83
Being aware	p. 84
The high-functioning myth	p. 85
Day to day	p. 86
Tune in or tune out	p. 87
Accommodate instead of tolerate	p. 88
Wanting to connect isn't enough	p. 89
Knowing isn't understanding	p. 90
My Senses Don't Play Well with Others, Including Me	p. 91
The sensory migraine	p. 91
How many senses do we have?	p. 93
Getting your needs met	p. 94
What's your frequency?	p. 95
What's the intensity?	p. 96
Problems sleeping	p. 98
When touch hurts	p. 99
How do you manage?	p. 101
But the potty scares me!	p. 102
Emotions running high	p. 103
When your emotions are more than you can handle	p. 105
Coming to Your Senses	p. 107
The auditory smoothy	p. 108
Stop sweating	p. 109
Sit up straight and don't pay attention	p. 110
I need a dinosaur hug	p. 112
Why that?	p. 113
The eleventh sense	p. 116
Supersensitivity	p. 118
Being choosy	p. 119
Finding balance	p. 120
The problem with research	p. 122
Creating Relationships that Work for Both of Us
How to Build Self-Confidence in One Step	p. 127
What is confidence?	p. 127
Imposing your own limits	p. 128
Message received	p. 130
What's your experience?	p. 131
The problem with compliments	p. 132
The magic question	p. 134
Feedback	p. 134
You need a different answer	p. 136
Thoughts on perfectionism	p. 137
Grownups first	p. 139
Not good enough	p. 140
Emphasize where they specialize	p. 142
Constructive criticism	p. 144
How praise can ruin your child's life	p. 146
Meeting Halfway	p. 151
Be curious	p. 152
Keep an open mind	p. 152
Why social skills groups don't work	p. 153
What the heck does a parent do now?	p. 157
Be true to yourself	p. 158
Strategy versus skill	p. 160
Solving the problem	p. 162
What you believe	p. 165
It's contextual	p. 165
Clarify, Clarify, Clarify	p. 169
No mind reading	p. 170
The most important social strategy	p. 172
One problem	p. 173
I know what you're thinking	p. 174
The problem with nonverbal communication	p. 175
What are you afraid of?	p. 175
Stop punishing honesty	p. 176
An important agreement	p. 178
Ask, ask, ask	p. 179
Clarify for the literal mind	p. 180
What's the protocol?	p. 181
I don't get it	p. 182
Problem solved	p. 182
The Art of Negotiation	p. 185
What do you believe?	p. 186
The role of being right	p. 187
Nonverbal communication doesn't help	p. 189
Rules of engagement	p. 189
Can you repeat that?	p. 191
Don't touch me	p. 192
It's all about "We"	p. 193
The problem solver	p. 194
Reversing selfishness	p. 195
Being a follower	p. 196
Teaching "We"	p. 197
Everyday leverage	p. 201
Keeping your agreements	p. 203
The Three Gs	p. 205
How it's done	p. 206
Practice, practice	p. 207
Asking for Help and Getting It	p. 209
Meltdown at the airport	p. 210
Speak up	p. 213
I don't need help	p. 214
I don't know how	p. 215
Touch and Go	p. 230
Ignoring the signs	p. 231
No place to go	p. 234
Social disclaimers	p. 235
From Rejection to Resilience	p. 239
Filling in the gaps	p. 240
So many questions	p. 242
Using the Ws	p. 243
Plan B	p. 247
The importance of why	p. 249
What's the solution?	p. 250
Reaping what you sow	p. 253
Let's review	p. 256
Where to go from "no"	p. 258
What if I said "no"?	p. 259
The "yes" solution	p. 260
Accepting "no"	p. 262
Glossary	p. 269
References	p. 271
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.