Teenagers Suck: What to Do When Missed Curfews, Texting, and "Mom, Can I Have the Keys" Make You Miserable

by Kimes, Joanne

• ISBN13: 9781598698985
• ISBN10: 1598698982
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2009-04-18
• Publisher: Adams Media Corp

Summary

Most people go through mid-life crises when their kids are teenagers?

Author Biography

Joanne Kimes has written for a number of children's and comedy television shows. This is her eleventh Sucks book. She lives in Studio City, CA. R.J. Colleary attended Emerson College and moved to L.A. to become a writer for shows such as Saved by the Bell, The Golden Girls, and Benson. He teaches writing to graduate students at Chapman University and works steadily as a playwright. He has survived two teenagers and is currently surviving one more at home in Sherman Oaks, CA. Rebecca Rutledge, PhD is a clinical psychologist who specializes in family therapy and individual therapy for children and adolescents. She writes columns for Your Health, Memphis Women's Journal, and the Shelby Sun Times, and lives in Memphis, TN.

Table of Contents

Introduction	p. ix
Hormones: How the Simplest Creatures Become Criminally Insane	p. 1
Taking Matters into His or Her Own Hands (AKA Masturbation)	p. 2
Pornography: The ABCs of XXX	p. 4
Atrocious Acne	p. 6
The Teen Diet: Two Pizzas and a Bowl of Cereal	p. 8
Waking Up at the Crack of Noon	p. 11
A Boner-Fide Problem	p. 13
Some Dry Humor about Wet Dreams	p. 15
Going with the Flow-Managing Menstruation	p. 17
Bras: Lifting and Separating Fact from Fiction	p. 20
Mars, Venus, & Teen Town	p. 23
The Human ATM	p. 25
In Teen We Trust ... NOT!	p. 29
"Home, James"-Your Life as the Chauffeur	p. 31
Picking Your Battles #1: When to Make Peace	p. 33
Picking Your Battles #2: When to Go to War	p. 35
Understanding (and Surviving) Peer Pressure	p. 38
You're Not Leaving the House Looking Like That!	p. 43
The Teen Wardrobe/Disrobe	p. 44
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow (You hope!)	p. 46
Makeup or War Paint?	p. 48
You Pierced What?	p. 51
Tat's Ridiculous: Think Before You Ink	p. 54
What We Have Here Is a Failure to Communicate	p. 59
The A-to-Zs of How to Talk So Your Teen Will Listen	p. 60
The A-to-Zs of How to Listen So Your Teen Will Talk	p. 65
And Now, a Message from Our Sponsors	p. 71
No Laughing Matter-Serious Teen Issues	p. 74
Papa's Got a Brand New Bag ... of House Rules	p. 79
Chores & Responsibilities	p. 80
Monitoring the Monitor Part 1: Computers	p. 84
Monitoring the Monitor Part 2: TV & Video Games	p. 87
Cell Phone Culture	p. 88
The Clash of the Curfew	p. 90
Every Parent's Worst Nightmare: The Driver's License!	p. 92
School Daze: How to Get Your Kids to Focus on School	p. 96
Privacy (AKA Snoop, Dog)	p. 98
Relationships Between Drama Queens & Kings	p. 101
When Their Friendships Just Don't "Clique"	p. 102
The Truth Hurts (So Teens Lie Instead)	p. 104
Betrayal	p. 106
With Friends Like Those, You Need a Bottle of Scotch	p. 109
"Going Out with Someone"-What It Means Through the Ages	p. 111
Chaperoning Your Dating Teen	p. 114
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do (And Even Harder on You)	p. 116
Sex: From Hanging Out to Hooking Up!	p. 119
The First Time: A Relatively True Story	p. 120
Talking the Talk: The Birds, the Bees, and Beyond	p. 123
Defining Togetherness	p. 126
Coed Sleepovers	p. 129
Homosexuality: A Tricky Teenage Time Just Got Trickier	p. 132
Special K and Other Drugs: It's Not Just for Breakfast Anymore	p. 135
Recreational Drugs	p. 136
Drug Distinctions	p. 138
The "Other" Talk	p. 139
Drug Problems	p. 140
Dealing with Drinking	p. 143
Putting Out the Fire and Curbing Cigarettes	p. 145
Rebel Yell	p. 149
The Beginning of the End ... or the End of the Beginning	p. 150
Giving Up (Some) Control: A Modern Day Fable	p. 153
Endgame: The Sky's the Limit	p. 156
Reference Books to Complement Teenagers Suck	p. 159
Index	p. 162
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