The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting

by Laurence Steinberg

• ISBN13: 9780743251150
• ISBN10: 0743251156
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2004-04-27
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Summary

"For the most part, parenting is something we just do, without really giving it much thought," says Laurence Steinberg, one of the country's most distinguished psychologists. Most of us parent by instinct, he says, but with a better understanding of what works when you parent, and why, your instincts will get better and so will your ability to cope with the unique challenges -- and joys -- of being a parent.

Author Biography

Laurence Steinberg, Ph.D., is the Distinguished University Professor and Laura H. Carnell Professor of Psychology at Temple University and a former president of the Society for Research on Adolescence. A Fellow of the American Psychological Association, Dr. Steinberg is the author or coauthor of several previous books, including You and Your Adolescent and Beyond the Classroom. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today, Ladies' Home Journal, and The Washington Post, among other publications. He lives with his family in suburban Philadelphia.

Table of Contents

Being a Better Parent	p. 1
What You Do Matters	p. 9
Be a Mindful Parent	p. 9
Genes Don't Make Parents Irrelevant	p. 13
Children Learn by Watching	p. 15
Handling Influences Outside the Family	p. 20
Learn from Your Mistakes	p. 24
You Cannot Be Too Loving	p. 27
Can You Spoil Your Child with Love?	p. 27
Expressing Physical Affection	p. 30
Praise Your Child's Accomplishments	p. 35
Responding to Your Child's Emotional Needs	p. 38
Providing a Safe Haven	p. 42
Be Involved in Your Child's Life	p. 47
Be Involved	p. 47
What Is Quality Time?	p. 50
Take an Interest in Your Child's Interests	p. 53
The Importance of School Involvement	p. 56
Avoid Intrusive Parenting	p. 60
Adapt Your Parenting to Fit Your Child	p. 65
Keep Pace with Your Child's Development	p. 65
Adjust Your Parenting to Your Child's Temperament	p. 69
Your Child Is Unique	p. 74
Have Patience During Developmental Transitions	p. 78
Your Changing Role as a Parent	p. 82
Establish Rules and Set Limits	p. 87
All Children Need Rules and Limits	p. 87
Be Firm, but Be Fair	p. 89
The Importance of Monitoring	p. 93
Handling Conflicts over Rules	p. 98
Relaxing Limits as Your Child Matures	p. 102
Help Foster Your Child's Independence	p. 107
Your Child's Need for Autonomy	p. 107
Coping with Oppositionalism and Argumentativeness	p. 112
Give Your Child Psychological Space	p. 115
Don't Micromanage Your Child's Life	p. 119
Protect When You Must, but Permit When You Can	p. 122
Be Consistent	p. 127
Be Consistent from Day to Day	p. 127
The Significance of Routines	p. 129
How Important Is a United Front?	p. 132
Be Consistent Without Being Rigid	p. 137
Identify Your Nonnegotiables	p. 140
Avoid Harsh Discipline	p. 143
Should Children Be Punished?	p. 143
Never Use Physical Punishment	p. 148
Don't Be Verbally Abusive	p. 150
Controlling Your Anger	p. 153
The Right Way to Punish	p. 155
Explain Your Rules and Decisions	p. 159
Be Clear About What You Expect	p. 159
Reasoning with Your Child	p. 163
"Because I Said So"	p. 168
Hear Your Child's Point of View	p. 170
Admit Your Mistakes	p. 173
Treat Your Child with Respect	p. 179
Getting and Giving Respect	p. 179
Have Two-Way Conversations	p. 183
"Don't Talk Back"	p. 187
Let Your Child Act His Age	p. 189
Children Treat Others the Way Their Parents Treat Them	p. 191
Index	p. 193
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