Thriving Through Ministry Conflict : A Parable on How Resistance Can Be Your Ally

by James P. Osterhaus, Joseph M. Jurkowski, and Todd A. Hahn

• ISBN13: 9780310324669
• ISBN10: 0310324661
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2010-01-01
• Publisher: Zondervan

Summary

There’s no need to fear the conflicts that inevitably arise in every church. Pastors and church leaders can learn how to make resistance their ally. Through colorful storytelling, response activities, and discussion questions, this book shares insights that can help leaders trade unfruitful responses to conflict for a positive approach that promotes growth and unity in their church.

Excerpts

Thriving through Ministry ConflictCopyright © 2005 by TAG—The Armstrong GroupPublished in association with Eames Literary Services, Nashville, TennesseeRequests for information should be addressed to:Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication DataOsterhaus, James P.Thriving through ministry conflict : by understanding your red and bluezones / James P. Osterhaus, Joseph M. Jurkowski, and Todd A. Hahn.p. cm.Includes bibliographical references.ISBN-10: 0-310-26344-1 (hard : alk. paper)ISBN-13: 978-0-310-26344-9 (hardcover)1. Church controversies. 2. Clergy—Psychology. 3. Pastoral theology.I. Jurkowski, Joseph M. II. Hahn, Todd, 1968- III. Title.BV652.9.O88 2005253—dc222005010114This edition printed on acid-free paper.The website addresses recommended throughout this book are offered as a resource toyou. These websites are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on thepart of Zondervan, nor do we vouch for their content for the life of this book.All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrievalsystem, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy,recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without theprior permission of the publisher.Interior design by Nancy WilsonPrinted in the United States of America05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 /?DCI/ 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1We want to hear from you. Please send your comments about thisbook to us in care of [e-mail]. Thank you.CHAPTER 1Welcome to the JungleBarry Wolf was getting used to the headaches. They started inthe back of his head and worked their way relentlessly to a pointbehind his eyes so that no amount of kneading his templeshelped.When a headache hit, he had to accept the misery until sleepor half a bottle of ibuprofen kicked in. It was no way to live if onewanted to lead a church effectively. And Barry was all about effectiveness.After a ten-year career in insurance sales, Barry had come to theconclusion that God wanted him to become a pastor. Packing up hisfamily, including two kids, Barry moved across the country for ministerialstudies. Putting his rare combination of people skills and organizationalacumen to work, Barry finished school early and landedhis first pastorate, leading the First Community Church of Elizabethton,Illinois.Barry had moved into his first call with the conviction thatchurches in the twenty-first century should be more than traditionalchaplaincies and social clubs for the spiritually minded. He believedthat the church should have an impact in the community and shouldfunction as an effective, life-changing organization by leading peopleto follow Christ closely and to live that out in their day-to-day lives.Barry wasn’t sure how to make this happen, but he had both theologicaland commonsense business training and figured he couldwork it out in the field.The call process had been a fairly straightforward one. Jim Grendell,the chairman of the search committee, combined the precisionof a veteran CPA with the winsomeness of a gifted salesman. Hewas also refreshingly honest, even blunt, qualities that Barry admired,even if his own people-pleasing tendencies occasionally preventedhim from practicing them.“Look,” said Jim, “I believe that you are the man for this job. Youare in your midthirties, so you are not wet behind the ears. At thesame time, this is your first pastorate, so you are not coming in witha lot of preconceptions. You also have a background as a salesperson,which you are going to need to turn this church around.”Jim described a church whose best days were behind it but whichhad potential for the future. First Community had been foundedduring the church boom years of the 1950s and had grown quickly.Located in a fairly affluent suburb of Chicago, the church attracteda wide spectrum of members, from young families to retirees. Its programsfor children were known throughout the area, it boasted aseries of gifted pastors, and the church made a significant contributiontoward meeting the needs of the disadvantaged in the community.The church’s growth stabilized in the mid-1960s and stayed levelfor about another decade. In the 1970s the demographics of the communitybegan to change as many families moved a bit farther awayfrom the Chicago center. Those left behind tended to be older folkswho had no desire to move and those who could not afford to move.In time the ethnic composition of the area began to change as well,and First Community, which had been mostly white, did not reflectthis change. By the early 1990s the sanctuary, which seated 700 andhad been filled nearly to capacity for years, held about 225 worshiperson Sunday morning, and the median age of the congregation wasspiking upward.Driven in part by the economic boom of the mid- to late-1990s,young families began to repopulate Elizabethton, but again thechurch wasn’t able to attract this new population. By 2000, whenBarry took the reins as pastor, the church’s beautiful structure andrich history belied its decline in members, finances, and energy.Barry was not one to shy away from a challenge and so had hadno difficulty deciding to come to First Community.With Jim’s statedsupport and the sense of the search committee that Barry was theone to lead the church in its efforts to reach young families and sorevitalize itself, Barry and his family had moved to Elizabethton withhigh hopes and trust in God.The next three years had been the longest of Barry’s life. Thecongregation’s worship seemed lifeless. There was a shortage of volunteersin every area. Offerings provided enough money to paysalaries and keep the building up, but there were few resources toexpand ministry and create new programs, things Barry knew wereessential to reach the changing community.Worst of all, some of his early allies had become antagonists.Thesearch committee had invited him specifically because he was youngand creative and they knew the church needed to change. But whenBarry began to implement changes—even minor ones to make theworship services livelier and to brighten the children’s ministryrooms—he met resistance that seemed wholly out of proportion tohis decisions.The great shock was that Jim Grendell had become his nemesis.Five minutes into Barry’s first board meeting at First CommunityChurch, it was clear who called the shots—Jim. Jim was not aphysically imposing man, but he had a presence about him.He couldtalk to anyone about nearly everything and did so with charm. Hewas well spoken, was looked to as a mentor by many, and in spite ofhis apparent strength was given to emotion and even tears when discussingan issue important to him. And usually others followed him.Jim was the kind of guy you wanted on your side and the exactperson you hoped and prayed wasn’t aligned against you, because,Barry soon realized, Jim took no prisoners when something stoodbetween him and his goals. And within a year Jim’s apparent goalwas to ensure that anything Barry proposed was shot down in flames.Barry and his wife, Sophia, sometimes sat up late at night as Barrytried to divine what could have caused the change in Jim, at least thechange that Barry perceived.Was Jim threatened by Barry? Was heinsecure? Was he manipulative? Had he lied when he recruited Barryby saying the church wanted change, and then did everything hecould to block change? Had Barry missed something? And mostoften, what could Barry do to get around Jim’s obstructionism or tochange the way Jim led in the church?Now, Barry was ready to pack it in. The board was stalemated.

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Excerpted from Thriving through Ministry Conflict: A Parable on How Resistance Can Be Your Ally by James P. Osterhaus, Joseph M. Jurkowski, Todd A. Hahn
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