Til Death Do Us Part

by Yarnell, Rene Reid

• ISBN13: 9781883599171
• ISBN10: 1883599172
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2001-05-01
• Publisher: Quantum Leap

Summary

A former nun offers a lifeline for anyone who is facing, has faced, or will face marital crisis, helping readers transform negativity into celebration of life and renewal. Yarnell tells the story of her own fairy tale romance and how the process of the breakup caused her to come to terms with her own potential for intimacy and love.

Table of Contents

Foreword: Bob Proctor	xi
Introduction	xv
New paradigm needed for couples embracing marriage today
Relationship endings need not equate to failure
Positive closure can create healthy new beginnings
Clinging to the Dream	1	(16)
In crises, living and working together can be double jeopardy
Losing hope of having meaningful dialogue
Retreating from the marriage for personal soul-searching
Part I: Flashback September 1988 -- June 1998
Election to Public Office	17	(18)
Winning: Combination of coordinated teamwork and right timing
Discovering the reality and complexity of politics
Consequences of voting contrary to backers' wishes
Balancing Political and Professional Careers	35	(16)
Selecting a career not in conflict of interest with politics
Questioning the ethics of fellow commissioner
Meeting future life partner in work environment
Our company faces regulatory and media scrutiny
Courtship	51	(18)
Surprising revelation of his belief that we are soul mates
Sharing life purpose, fears, and vulnerabilities with each other
Experiencing the irrational excitement of new love
Wedding and Honeymoon	69	(24)
Asking the children for their blessing
Sharing our joy with friends and business associates
High of new love tempered by career challenges
Exchanging vows promising ``til death do us part''
Marriage and Merger	93	(16)
Adjusting to personal relationship and business partnership
Fairytale romance faces first tinge of reality
First year bliss tested by career pressures
Balancing Two Careers and Marriage	109	(28)
Nurturing love through poetry and daily affections
Fighting to defend the integrity of our industry
Standing up to political attackers: ethics prevails
Addiction: the Intrusive Mistress	137	(22)
Discovery of the addiction
Struggle of a co-addict: enabling vs. controlling
Seeking help from professionals and family
Letting go for my own healing to begin
Relapse	159	(24)
Becoming aware of the plight of an alcoholic/addict
Exploring solutions together
Moral dilemma: confronting the doctor/supplier
Learning to expect relapse as normal
Drug-free at Last!	183	(36)
Coming to terms with unethical business practices
Heartrending decision to part ways with our company
Freedom and joy of living abroad
Affects of detoxification on the entire relationship
A New Partnership	219	(20)
Intent on helping the world but unable to help ourselves
Treating addiction as an illness
Identifying impediments, first step toward conquering them
Addict's need to displace drugs with new life skills
Forming Our Company	239	(26)
Early disappointments with partners and vendors
Stress of business and finances destroying our marriage
Partners enraged by my proposed fiscal solution
Seeking solace from my closest friend
Part II: Present June 1998 -- July 1999
Searching for Answers	265	(24)
Finding an ideal get-away for solitary reflection
Confronting perplexing issues about our relationship
Heartrending letters to him expressing my deepest feelings
Delving into my own self-awareness process
Rebuilding Trust	289	(30)
Replacing negative thoughts about my husband with positive ones
Forgiving and releasing unwanted qualities about myself
Re-evaluating the level of trust in our relationship
Realizing his priority transferred from us to our company
Conversing at Last	319	(26)
Weekend together sharing feelings about our marriage
Comparing emotions of new love to choosing ongoing love
Proposed relationship shifted from equality to male dominance
Exploring viable forms of relationship to preserve our marriage
Confronted with Divorce	345	(30)
Feeling the pain of silence and rejection from spouse and partners
Divorce and settlement proposed to be amicable
Having genuine dialogue about meaningful issues
Promise of better friendship without challenges of marriage
Facing the Reality	375	(24)
Meeting with his hostility upon my return
Fighting against feeling abandoned once again
Coping through journaling, letter writing, and supportive friends
Frustrations mounting with unresolved personal entanglements
Dismissed from the Company	399	(30)
Challenges of holding my own with business partners
Personalizing stages of interpersonal or business relationships
Feeling betrayed and powerless when excluded from the board
Announcement that partners voted me out of our company
Creating a New Career and New Life	429	(32)
Finding a central focus for rebuilding a career
Recovering from feelings of rejection in life and business
Resolving personal and company financial liabilities
Choosing to make divorce a loving exchange
Saying Goodbye	461	(30)
Grasping the reasons for my relationship ending
Creating closure through a final ritual
Opening up to the tiers of love that encircle us
Seeing spiritual partnership enhancing one another's growth
Parting as friends
Epilogue-Afterword November 1999-September 2000
Epilogue: New Beginnings	491	(24)
Who am I when on my own?
Expanding self-awareness of men and women's roles
Opening to the possibility of a new relationship
Feeling the pain of silent interludes
Afterword: Endings and More Beginnings	515
New beginnings await behind every ending
Emotional stages of growth following the ending of relationships
Learning to preserve my authentic self while in a relationship
Forgiveness, key to healing; loving, key to personal growth