Tongue Fu! How to Deflect, Disarm, and Defuse Any Verbal Conflict

by Horn, Sam

• ISBN13: 9780312152277
• ISBN10: 0312152272
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 1997-03-15
• Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin

Summary

If you've ever been tongue-tied - or if you've ever given a tongue-lashing (and regretted it), Tongue Fu! offers constructive alternatives that will turn hostility into harmony and help you avoid a mental breakdown in the face of aggression. With straightforward strategies and proven techniques, Tongue Fu! examines almost every kind of verbal conflict - from fights with your spouse or a stalemate with the kids - and shows how to use martial arts for the mind and mouth to deflect attacks, disarm disputes, and defuse any explosive situation. With Tongue Fu! you will learn words to use (and words to lose) in tense situations, the power of the phrase "You're right," the tools to use when people push your "hot buttons," how to handle a verbal bully who enjoys attacking and tormenting, how to gracefully exit an argument, what to say when you don't know what to say, how to use silence to your advantage, how to be pleasantly unpleasant, and how to take charge of your emotions.

Author Biography

Sam Horn, president of Action Seminars, has given workshops to 350,000 people in more than fifty cities across the country and has also written Concrete Confidence. She hosts a weekly radio show called Sam Says on Maui's most-listened-to station, KLHI. Tongue Fu! has been featured in Family Circle, Cosmopolitan, Reader's Digest, and USA Today, to name a few. Her impressive client list includes Young President's Organization, Hewlett-Packard, U.S. Navy, the IRS, American Bankers Association, and Four Seasons Hotels. She is a member of the National Speakers Organization, and she lives in Maui, Hawaii, with her family.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	p. ix
Introduction	p. xi
Author's Note	p. xv
Respond Rather Than React
Fast-Forward Through Frustration	p. 3
Handle Hassles with Fun Fu!	p. 12
Talk People Through Their Troubles	p. 20
End Complaints Instantly	p. 26
Gracefully Exit Arguments	p. 35
Name the Game	p. 42
Tongue Glue	p. 48
What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say	p. 55
Find Solutions, Not Fault	p. 62
Words to Lose, Words to Use
Acknowledge, Don't Argue	p. 71
Become a Coach, Not a Critic	p. 77
Turn Orders Into Requests	p. 82
Clear Away the "Can't Because" Barrier	p. 88
Become Problem Free	p. 94
Avoid Going to Extremes	p. 99
Turn Conflicts into Cooperation
Listen Up!	p. 109
Rules for Unruly Behavior	p. 116
Defuse Disputes	p. 124
Approach with an Open Mind	p. 129
Share Control	p. 135
Get More of What You Want, Need, and Deserve
Choose Your Battles	p. 145
Say No	p. 152
Terminate Tactfully	p. 160
Act and Feel Confident	p. 168
Five Principles of Persuasion	p. 177
Break Free from Bullies	p. 185
Give People a Fresh Start	p. 193
Take Charge of Your Emotions!	p. 199
Maintain a Positive Perspective	p. 206
Ki'Em with Kindness	p. 214
Epilogue: Turn Intentions into Actions	p. 224
Postscript	p. 231
Recommended Reading	p. 233
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