Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now

by Livingston, Gordon; Edwards, Elizabeth

• ISBN13: 9781569244197
• ISBN10: 1569244197
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2004-11-09
• Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books

Summary

From a psychiatrist who has spent the past thirty years listening to other people's most intimate secrets and troubles-an eloquent, incisive, and deeply perceptive book about the things we all share-and which every one of us grapples with as we strive to make the most of the life we have left. After service in Vietnam as a surgeon for the 11TH Armored Cavalry Regiment in 1968-69, at the height of the war-Dr. Gordon Livingston returned to the U.S. and began work as a psychiatrist. In that capacity, he has listened to people talk about their lives-what works, what doesn't, and the limitless ways (most of them self-inflicted) that we have found to be unhappy. He is also a parent twice bereaved-in one thirteen-month period, he lost his eldest son to suicide, his youngest to leukemia.

Author Biography

Gordon Livingston, M.D., a graduate of West Point and the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, has been a physician since 1967

Table of Contents

Foreword by Elizabeth Edwards	xv
1. If the map doesn't agree with the ground, the map is wrong	1	(5)
2. We are what we do	6	(6)
3. It is difficult to remove by logic an idea not placed there by logic in the first place	12	(6)
4. The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood traumas	18	(6)
5. Any relationship is under the control of the person who cares the least	24	(4)
6. Feelings follow behavior	28	(8)
7. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid	36	(5)
8. The perfect is the enemy of the good	41	(4)
9. Life's two most important questions are "Why?" and "Why not?" The trick is knowing which one to ask	45	(5)
10. Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses	50	(5)
11. The most secure prisons are those we construct for ourselves	55	(6)
12. The problems of the elderly are frequently serious but seldom interesting	61	(7)
13. Happiness is the ultimate risk	68	(7)
14. True love is the apple of Eden	75	(5)
15. Only bad things happen quickly	80	(7)
16. Not all who wander are lost	87	(4)
17. Unrequited love is painful but not romantic	91	(4)
18. There is nothing more pointless, or common, than doing the same things and expecting different results	95	(6)
19. We flee from the truth in vain	101	(6)
20. It's a poor idea to lie to oneself	107	(4)
21. We are all prone to the myth of the perfect stranger	111	(4)
22. Love is never lost, not even in death	115	(4)
23. Nobody likes to be told what to do	119	(6)
24. The major advantage of illness is that it provides relief from responsibility	125	(4)
25. We are afraid of the wrong things	129	(7)
26. Parents have a limited ability to shape children's behavior, except for the worse	136	(8)
27. The only real paradises are those we have lost	144	(8)
28. Of all the forms of courage, the ability to laugh is the most profoundly therapeutic	152	(6)
29. Mental health requires freedom of choice	158	(4)
30. Forgiveness is a form of letting go, but they are not the same thing	162