UFOs, JFK, and Elvis Conspiracies You Don't Have to Be Crazy to Believe

by BELZER, RICHARD

• ISBN13: 9780345429186
• ISBN10: 0345429184
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2000-05-02
• Publisher: Ballantine Books

Summary

"I'm not asking you to believe every conspiracy theory you'll find in this book. . . . I didn't write this book to give you all the answers. The Warren Commission did that, and the answers were all wrong. I wrote this book to inspire you to do what the powers that be wish you wouldn't: to question authority . . . and to keep an eye out for Elvis." --RICHARD BELZER In UFOs, JFK, and Elvis, the distinguished statesman of stand-up comedy tackles some of the biggest conspiracies and cover-ups this side of Roswell. Just what is it that they don't want you to know about the assassination of John F. Kennedy, Area 51, and what the American astronauts really found on the moon? The unexplained crash at Roswell and the mysterious "face" on Mars? The link between the Nazis and the U.S. space program? Evidence of extraterrestrial experimentation? Finally, one lone "nut" exposes the conspiracy to keep conspiracies a dirty little secret, standing up to the shadowy forces that would have us believe that Oswald acted alone, those lights in the sky are weather balloons, and fluoridated water is good for you (yeah, right). "Some of the smartest people I know . . . find it easier--and certainly more comforting--to believe that America is the only country on earth with no conspiracies at all." Just remember: do not ask on whom The Belz has told--he's told on them.

Author Biography

Richard Belzer is perhaps best known today for his starring role as Detective Munch in the TV police drama Homicide. Before joining Homicide, The Belz was a popular stand-up comedian, who came up with Jay Leno on the club circuit. He is a frequent guest on The Howard Stern Show and has appeared on Tonight and Politically Incorrect and in other major national media.<br><br><br><i>From the Hardcover edition.</i>

Table of Contents

Preface	vii
Introduction. Get a Clue, Babe...	1	(4)
Prologue. The Origins of My Nightmare	5	(2)
PART 1. JFK	7	(118)
Where Were You on November 22, 1963?	9	(4)
Abraham Zapruder's Day Out	13	(4)
The Best Evidence Never Developed	17	(4)
Umbrella Man	21	(4)
Gerald Ford and the Magic Bullet	25	(4)
The Fluke of Earl	29	(4)
What the Warren Commission Found	33	(4)
Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil	37	(4)
Take Cover	41	(4)
Secret Services	45	(4)
The Case Against Oswald	49	(6)
The Sniper's Nest	55	(6)
No Smoking Gun	61	(6)
Multiple Lone Nuts	67	(6)
Surreal Motives	73	(4)
The Usual Suspects	77	(8)
Who's Who Among the Lesser Potential Assassins	85	(6)
Trent for President in the Year 2000	91	(4)
No Pain, No Brain	95	(4)
I Could Just Die	99	(4)
Just a Simple Nightclub Owner with a Dream	103	(6)
A Death Worse Than Fate	109	(4)
The Media and the Murder	113	(8)
Where Do People Get These Strange Ideas, Anyhow?	121	(4)
PART 2. FROM DALLAS TO MARRS	125	(26)
I'm Strictly a She-Male G-Man	129	(6)
Anybody Up There?	135	(4)
How Ten Myths About Aliens and UFOs Equal One Big Lie	139	(12)
PART 3. UFOS	151	(67)
What the Hell Fell?	153	(8)
Hallelujah, It's Raining Spacemen!	161	(4)
Out There or Down Here?	165	(6)
What Do Extraterrestrials Want?	171	(6)
The Men Who Mooned the World	177	(4)
I'll See You on the Dark Side of the Moon	181	(6)
Men in Black	187	(8)
Black Choppers	195	(6)
Face It...There's a Face on Mars	201	(8)
Embrace Me, You Sweet Embraceable Anthropoid	209	(6)
The End of the Line	215	(3)
Acknowledgments	218	(1)
Bibliography	219	(6)
Index	225