The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce

by Lewis, Julia M.; Blakeslee, Sandra

• ISBN13: 9780786886166
• ISBN10: 0786886161
• Edition: Reprint
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2001-09-19
• Publisher: Hachette Books

Summary

If you grew up as a child of divorce, you may find yourself asking: Why am I so afraid of conflict? Why do I have such a fear of commitment? Why am I always waiting for the "other shoe to drop," even at moments of success? You may be surprised to discover how common these feelings are for children of divorce, especially as they get older. Dr. Judith Wallerstein has been studying the effects of divorce on children for 25 years, but even she wasn't expecting the findings presented here: that while children learn to cope with divorce, its greatest effects don't emerge until adulthood. Book jacket.

Author Biography

Judith S. Wallerstein is The founder of the Judith Wallerstein Center for the Family in Transition, she is a senior lecturer emerita at the School of Social Welfare at the University of California at Berkeley

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	ix
Prologue	xiii
Preface	xix
Introduction	xxvii
PART ONE / PARALLEL UNIVERSES: KAREN AND GARY
When a Child Becomes the Caregiver	3	(11)
Sunlit Memories	14	(12)
Growing Up is Harder	26	(13)
What If They'd Stayed Together---and What If They Can't?	39	(13)
When There's No One to Set an Example	52	(19)
Setting an Example	71	(16)
PART TWO / THE LEGACY OF DIVORCE: LARRY AND CAROL
The Wages of Violence	87	(19)
Our Failure to Intervene	106	(15)
Order Out of Chaos	121	(10)
Family Ties	131	(15)
Undoing the Past	146	(13)
PART THREE / THE PARENTLESS CHILD: PAULA
Growing Up Lonely	159	(15)
Court-Ordered Visiting, the Child's View	174	(12)
Sex and Drugs	186	(9)
Evolving Relationships	195	(9)
The Custody Saga Continues	204	(21)
PART FOUR / THE VULNERABLE CHILD: BILLY
The Vulnerable Child	225	(11)
The Stepfamily	236	(18)
Picking Up the Pieces, One by One	254	(15)
PART FIVE / MY BEST CASE: LISA
Is Not Fighting Enough?	269	(13)
Children of Divorce	282	(12)
Two Conclusions	294	(23)
Appendix	317	(10)
Notes	327	(12)
Index	339