What About Me? Growing Up With A Developmentally Disabled Sibling

by Siegel, Bryna; Silverstein, Stuart

• ISBN13: 9780738206301
• ISBN10: 073820630X
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2001-10-15
• Publisher: Da Capo Press

Summary

A compassionate and accessible guide on living with and caring for a developmentally disabled sibling.

Table of Contents

Introduction Personal and Clinical Perspectives on Siblings of Developmentally Disabled Children and Adults	1	(4)
A Personal Story	5	(12)
What Research Tells Us about the Brothers and Sisters of Developmentally Disabled Children	17	(22)
How Common Are Families with a Developmentally Disabled Member?	18	(4)
The ``Labeling'' of People with Developmental Disabilities	22	(2)
The Meaning of Sibling Relationships	24	(4)
Factors Influencing Sibling Coping	28	(10)
Moving from Research to Individual Cases	38	(1)
A Family's Adjustment to a Developmentally Disabled Child	39	(32)
The Relationship between the Parents	40	(2)
Factors That Affect How Well Parents Raise Children Together	42	(8)
Other Parenting Stressors	50	(3)
Parental Age and Approaches to Child Rearing	53	(2)
Parental Denial and Its Relation to Social Support	55	(2)
Extended-Family Social Support and the Nonhandicapped Siblings	57	(1)
Parental Problems in Confronting the Disabled Child's Diagnosis	58	(4)
The Effects of Pointing the Finger of Blame	62	(2)
The Age of Recognition and the Age of Diagnosis	64	(1)
Explaining Developmental Disability to Nonhandicapped Siblings	65	(5)
Conclusions	70	(1)
Cultural, Religious, and Educational Factors Influencing Family Adjustment	71	(22)
Different Cultures and Different Attitudes toward the Developmentally Disabled	72	(1)
Mainstream Culture and Changing Attitudes toward Developmental Disabilities	72	(4)
Asian Families and Developmental Disabilities	76	(3)
Latino Families and Developmental Disabilities	79	(2)
African-American Families and Developmental Disabilities	81	(2)
Religion and How It Helps in Coping with a Disabled Child	83	(3)
A Parent's Level of Formal Education and Coping with a Disabled Child	86	(6)
Conclusions	92	(1)
Coping and Defending: Applying the Adult-Children-of-Alcoholics Model	93	(20)
The Adult-Children-of-Alcoholics (ACOA) Model	94	(11)
Maladaptive Coping in Families with a Developmentally Disabled Child	105	(7)
More Positive Coping	112	(1)
The Parentified Child	113	(24)
Defining Parentification	113	(1)
The Circumstances of Parentification	114	(10)
Taking Actions to Understand and Help the Parentified Child	124	(4)
Adolescent Backlash	128	(9)
Who Is at Risk of Becoming a Parentified Child?	137
Approaches to Coping	133	(4)
The Withdrawn Child	137	(20)
Who Is the Withdrawn Child?	137	(4)
The Roots of Withdrawn Behavior	141	(1)
Helping the Withdrawn Child to Feel Better	142	(1)
Difficulties Encountered at Home by the Withdrawn Child	143	(4)
Characteristics of the Withdrawn Child in Adolescence and Adulthood	147	(1)
Who Is at Risk of Becoming a Withdrawn Child?	147	(2)
Detecting Depression in the Withdrawn Child	149	(5)
Professional Help for a Withdrawn, Depressed Child	154	(1)
Conclusions	154	(3)
The Acting-Out Child	157	(14)
Acting-Out Behavior	158	(5)
Characteristics of the Acting-Out Child	163	(1)
Who Is at Risk of Becoming an Acting-Out Child?	164	(2)
Helping the Acting-Out Child	166	(3)
Conclusions	169	(2)
The Superachieving Child	171	(12)
Superachieving and Perfectionism	171	(2)
The Mental Age Gap	173	(1)
The Importance of Being Independent	174	(3)
The Need for a Separate Life Outside the Home	177	(1)
The Hero or Mascot of the Family	178	(1)
Intermittent Reinforcement of Achievements	178	(1)
Superachieving and Family Characteristics	179	(1)
Implications for the Adult Sibling	180	(3)
Promoting a Healthy Family Life	183	(22)
Adjustment to a Disabled Sibling as a Child and as an Adult	183	(4)
Stressors That Affect Family Functioning	187	(3)
Suggestions for Coping with Areas of Family Conflict	190	(5)
Problem-Solving Skills	195	(4)
Aids to Family Coping from Outside the Home	199	(3)
Residential Placement	202	(3)
Legal Aspects of Becoming Your Brother's Keeper	205	(20)
Responsibilities of an Adult Sibling	205	(2)
The Politics and Psychology of Public Services	207	(1)
Services for the Disabled and the Tax Revolt	208	(2)
Strategies for Gaining Access to Services	210	(2)
Legal and Financial Issues	212	(5)
Public Services for Disabled Persons	217	(3)
Strategies for Successful Advocacy	220	(5)
Afterword	225	(2)
Appendixes Discussion-Group and Support-Group Materials and Topics for Individual Consideration	227	(48)
IA. The Mixing of Coping Styles: Adult Siblings---Individual or Group Exercise	229	(2)
IB. Positive and Negative Connotations of Coping Styles: Adult Siblings---Group Discussion	231	(2)
IC. Sibling Areas of Conflict: Adult Siblings---Questionnaire	233	(10)
II. Social Support and Family Resources Questionnnaire: Adult Siblings or Parents---Individual and Group Exercise	243	(6)
III. Defenses and Negative Affects: Adult Siblings---Group or Individual Exercise	249	(2)
IVA. Adult Siblings: Parentified Child---Questionnaire	251	(6)
IVB. Adult Siblings: Withdrawn Child---Questionnaire	257	(4)
IVC. Adult Siblings: Acting-Out Child---Questionnaire	261	(4)
IVD. Adult Siblings: Superachieving Child---Questionnaire	265	(4)
V. Parent-Sibling Interaction: Parent Exercise	269	(2)
VI. Children's Concept of Developmental Disabilities: Parent Exercise	271	(2)
VII Family Problem-Solving Approaches: Siblings and Parents---Home or Family Therapy Exercise	273	(2)
For Further Reading	275	(4)
Index	279