When Couples Become Parents

by Fox, Bonnie

• ISBN13: 9780802091833
• ISBN10: 0802091830
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2009-12-15
• Publisher: Univ of Toronto Pr

Summary

When couples make the journey through their first year of parenthood they confront the challenges of their new responsibilities with varying degrees of support and a range of personal resources. When Couples Become Parents examines the ways in which divisions based on gender both evolve and are challenged by heterosexual couples from late pregnancy through early parenthood.Following the experiences of forty heterosexual couples in various socio-economic positions, Bonnie Fox traces the intricate interplay of social and material resources in the negotiations that occur between partners, the resulting divisions of paid and unpaid work in their families, and the dynamics in their relationships. Exploring the diverse reactions of these women and men, When Couples Become Parents provides significant insights into the early stages of parenthood, the limitations of nuclear families, and the gender inequalities that often develop with parenthood.

Table of Contents

List of Tables	p. xi
Acknowledgments	p. xiii
Introduction	p. 3
Diverse Experiences	p. 9
A Study of First-Time Parents	p. 12
The Costs of Privatized Responsibility for Children	p. 27
Studying Motherhood, Fatherhood, and Gender	p. 30
The Book	p. 34
Giving Birth: The Dynamics of Support and Agency	p. 37
Giving Birth in the Hospital: Agony, Ecstasy, and Places in Between	p. 39
Labouring to Give Birth: 'Swimming in a Sea of Pain'	p. 44
Giving Birth under Medical Management: 'I Felt Like I Was at the Hands of the Doctors'	p. 51
Two More Stories of Childbirth: The Benefits of 'The Epidural God' and the Help of Others	p. 59
Contextualizing the Challenges of Childbirth: The Importance of Responsibility and Support	p. 63
The Social Relations of Childbirth: 'Everybody Really Helped'	p. 70
A Take-Home Message	p. 72
Wrapping Up	p. 73
Becoming Parents: The Challenges of the Postpartum Period	p. 77
Postpartum Problems: 'A Vast Pit of Exhaustion'	p. 78
Contrasting Postpartum Experiences: 'It's Great Such Joy!'	p. 85
Towards Explaining the Different Experiences: 'A Mother Needs a Mother'	p. 88
Being a Father: 'It's Not Necessarily Something That Comes Naturally'	p. 94
Managing Dependency and the Need for Support: Taking Care of Dad	p. 105
The Support of Others	p. 112
Lessons from the Postpartum Period	p. 115
Becoming Mothers, Making Fathers: Negotiations in the Economy of Care	p. 117
Diverse Mothering Practices: From 'Wearing the Baby' to 'Letting Him Cry a Bit'	p. 120
Mothering as a 'Class Act': The Prerequisites of Intensive Mothering	p. 126
The Material Conditions of Intensive Mothering	p. 126
The Personal Resources behind Intensive Mothering	p. 129
A Priceless Time?	p. 130
Negotiating Intensive Mothering: The Giving and Receiving of Care and 'Consent'	p. 133
Intensive Mothering: It Takes Two (or More)	p. 137
Parenting: A Joint Venture	p. 140
The Economy of Care	p. 143
Constructing Fathers, Constructing Mothers	p. 144
Considerations on Intensive Mothering	p. 151
Taking Care of the Baby: Reproducing Gender Differences and Divisions?	p. 154
'All of a Sudden, I Was a Woman': Motherhood as Transformation and a Basis of Gender Divisions	p. 157
'I'm Out Working and She's at Home with the Baby': The Conventional Couples	p. 162
Reproducing Gendered Divisions, Disrupting Gendered Divisions	p. 166
Good Dads, Good Husbands: 'Nothing Compares to Just Holding Your Kids. I Love It.'	p. 168
Parenting Differently	p. 171
Parental Responsibility: 'Fathers Come in Different FlavoursàBut a Mother Is a Mother Is a Mother'	p. 178
Reproducing Gender Inequality?	p. 183
Home Making and Making Family	p. 185
The Meaning of Parenthood - and Its Material Requirements: 'A House and a Baby'	p. 191
Pressures to Do Housework: 'Because I'm Home, the Housework Should Be Taken Care Of	p. 195
Home Making and Making Family: 'It's a Matter of Having Family Time'	p. 202
Contested Terrain: 'There's Absolutely No Reason Why We Shouldn't Be Splitting These Things'	p. 205
Making Family Together: 'I'm Just Trying to Share the Load and Be Fair about It'	p. 212
Conclusion	p. 217
Being Mothers, Being Fathers: The Costs of Privatized Responsibility for Children	p. 220
'One of the Hardest Transitions I've Had to Make Is from Being a Person Who Is Out in the World to Being Very Enclosed'	p. 227
'Motherhood Means a Lot of Worry to Me'	p. 233
High-Demand, Low-Control, Stressful Work: 'I Could Just Sit on the Floor and CryàUntil I Get My Frustrations Out'	p. 237
'My Time Is Not My Own'	p. 241
Putting the Problems in Context	p. 246
A New Life and Changed Relationships	p. 249
Divided Lives, Troubled Relationships	p. 255
No Care, No Gratitude, Lost Love: 'Baby, Baby Where Did Our Love Go?'	p. 256
Nursing Anger: 'I Think I've Been Really Angry a Lot of the Time'	p. 265
Time Famine: 'We Don't Spend Much Time Together'	p. 268
Joint Parenting: 'I Just Feel Like There's More Love'	p. 275
Conclusion	p. 281
Conclusion	p. 285
Notes	p. 295
References	p. 307
Author Index	p. 321
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