When Did Caesar Become a Salad and Jeremiah a Bullfrog? 100 Clever, Funny, and Insightful Lessons for Life

by Babb, Martin

• ISBN13: 9781582294278
• ISBN10: 1582294275
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2005-02-01
• Publisher: Howard Books

Summary

What do you get when you combine downright hilarity with outright wisdom? A delightful, uplifting read that will not only make you laugh out loud but will inspire your walk of faith.

Author Biography

Martin Babb is currently the associate pastor and serves in the education area at Springfield Baptist Church in Tennessee. He also served as the associate pastor and worked with the youth at Cavalry Baptist Church and Pulaski Heights Baptist Church. He has had many articles published in many newspapers and magazines. He lives with his wife Beverly Lynn in Springfield, Tennessee, and they have two children.

Table of Contents

1. If You Go Berserk in the Kitchen, Are You Speaking in Tongs? (Lessons from Everyday Living)
1. It's Hard to Swim in a Sea of Depression, but a Sense of Humor Helps You Tread Water	2	(2)
2. An Urgent Need for Yeschatology-the Forgotten Doctrine of First Things	4	(2)
3. If the Incredible Edible Road-Kill Bill Passes, Will There Be a Fork in the Road?	6	(2)
4. Taking Time for the Refreshing Paws of Life	8	(2)
5. I Have No Title Because I Forgot What I Was Writing About	10	(2)
6. Living on Easy Street, Memory Lane, and Glory Road	12	(2)
7. Burgers, Fast Food, and God: Living on a Wing and a Prayer	14	(3)
8. Communication Problem? Sometimes We Just Need to Bite Our Tongues	17	(2)
9. If There Is Sunshine in Our Souls, Why Do We Rain on Someone's Parade?	19	(2)
10. Not Only the Ides of March, but Also Beware the Waxing Gibbous	21	(3)
2. If Love Makes the World Go 'Round, Why Do I Feel So Square? (Lessons on Loving Others)
11. When Was the Last Time You Toad Someone You Loved Them?	24	(2)
12. Hereford Today, Gone Tomorrow: A Mooving Story of Bovine Intervention	26	(2)
13. The Veiled Reality of Virtual Religion	28	(2)
14. Life Is an Information Superhighway, but I Can't Seem to Find the On-Ramp	30	(2)
15. Is There a Height Requirement for the Ride of a Lifetime?	32	(2)
16. You Don't Have to Be a Sandwich to Be Miracle-Whipped	34	(2)
17. Women May Be from Venus, but Men Left a Ring around Saturn	36	(2)
18. The Road to Loving People Is More Easily Traveled with Small Steps	38	(3)
19. Red and Yellow, Black and White-God's Best Rainbow	41	(2)
20. If Beauty Is in the Eye of the Beholder, Why Do People Try So Hard to Be the Beheld?	43	(3)
3. When the Going Gets Tough, We Usually Go to Wal-Mart (Lessons on Living through Trials)
21. Nothing Heals a Wounded Eagle Like the Warmth of a Scar-Spangled Banner	46	(2)
22. The Rain May Continue to Fall, but God Still Builds Boats	48	(2)
23. Why Worry about Ants When There Could Be Elephants Coming over the Wall?	50	(2)
24. The Squirrel May Be in the House, but You Don't Have to Let Him Nest	52	(3)
25. How Do You Deal with Creeping Iguanas?	55	(2)
26. It's a Dog-Eat-Dog World, and Cats Are Waiting Tables	57	(2)
27. I Need a Rocky Mountain High Because I've Reached a Barry Manilow	59	(2)
28. You've Never Really Known Fear Until You've Tried to Harpoon a Mad Chihuahua	61	(2)
29. Come, Let Us Spray	63	(2)
30. Raising People above See Level Is a Task of Titanic Proportions	65	(3)
4. Are Some Churches Just Grazing Land for Golden Calves? (Lessons from the Local Church)
31. Ever Get the Feeling That the Whole World Is a Formal Dinner and You Are Ernest T. Bass?	68	(2)
32. There Is a Reason That the Bleachers Are the Cheap Seats	70	(2)
33. Where There Is No Vision, the Blind Lead the Blind	72	(2)
34. Nothing Gets a Man Moving like Being Bitten in the Sanctuary	74	(2)
35. I'm Crying in the Chapel Because I've Got Georgia on My Mind	76	(2)
36. A Letter from Cuzzin Mervin	78	(2)
37. The Most Damaging Frost Is Not Always Outdoors	80	(2)
38. Aren't Committee Meetings One of the Seven Deadly Sins?	82	(2)
39. The Secret to Church Growth...Belching Cows	84	(2)
40. In the James Bond Church You Really Only Live Once	86	(4)
5. Contrary Popularity, Crabbiness Is Not a Fruit of the Spirit (Lessons on Positive Living from Negative People)
41. Give Us Our Daily Bread...but Could You Throw in a Potluck Dinner	90	(2)
42. The Quickest Way to a Man's Heart Is through Your Own Mouth	92	(2)
43. Please Enter from Cleveland during Construction	94	(3)
44. Suffering from Howlitosis: When the Fruit of the Spirit Turns Sour	97	(3)
45. UFOs in the Church: Close Encounters of the Unkind	100	(3)
46. Wasting Away and Knee-Deep Sewage	103	(3)
47. Beef Tips and Rest Stops and Loose Lips and Gift Shops-These Are a Few of My Favorite Things	106	(2)
48. With Apologies to William Golding: You, Too, Can Be Lord of the Flies	108	(2)
49. A Christian Swimming in a Sea of Negativity Should Be like a Fish out of Water	110	(2)
50. A Cure for the Uncommonly Cold	112	(4)
6. If Home Is on the Range, Then Someone Is on the Hot Seat (Lessons on Family Living)
51. Nothing Tugs at the Heartstrings like Music from a Silent Piano	116	(2)
52. If Life Were a Full-Course Dinner, Adolescence Would Fall between Broccoli and the Burp	118	(2)
53. Moving Contentedly from the Chore List to the Dean's List to the Grocery List	120	(2)
54. The Nightmare of Being an Abbott and Costello Parent in a Freddy Krueger World	122	(2)
55. Investing in Children: A Return Not Found on the Dow Jones	124	(2)
56. Off the Porch and into the World: A Leap of Faith	126	(2)
57. Ode to a Daughter upon Her High-School Graduation	128	(3)
58. From the Nest to the Trees Is Farther Than It Looks	131	(2)
59. Artificial Intelligence: Knowing More about Computers Than Your Families	133	(2)
60. Making Room for Daddy	135	(3)
7. Life Is like a Garage Sale, and I Keep Getting Marked Down (Lessons for the Down-and-Out)
61. Don't Try to Reach the Promised Land by Being Almost Persuaded	138	(3)
62. Once the Box Is Opened, the Crayons Will Never Be the Same...and Neither Will the Artist	141	(2)
63. The Ship of Life-the Only Ship Afloat Where the Lifeline Is Tied to the Anchor	143	(2)
64. The Gospel, Although Colorful in Its Setting, Is Best Understood in Black and White	145	(3)
65. If You Want to Go Where the Fish Are, You Must First Get Out of the Bait Shop	148	(2)
66. If We Live by Sweet 'n Law and Nutra-Saints, We Could Easily Become Numb and Number	150	(2)
67. Can't Stand the Heat? In Eternity the Kitchen Will Be the Least of Your Worries	152	(3)
68. Hash Browns and the Gospel: Scattered, Splattered, Smothered, and Covered	155	(3)
69. When Hope Springs a Leak Instead of Eternal	158	(2)
70. The Road to Enlightenment Often Passes through Mayberry	160	(4)
8. If You Think You've Got Problems, Consider the Person Who Had to Clean the Ark (Lessons on Servanthood)
71. A Pilgrim's Progress Is Always Measured by His Bunions	164	(3)
72. Let's Turn in Our Hymnbooks to "There's Power in the Towel"	167	(2)
73. There's More Than One Way to Trim the Fat	169	(3)
74. The Chicken May Have Crossed the Road, hut He Didn't Crow about	172	(3)
75. We Are the Salt of the Earth, but Some of Us Need a Lid on Our Shaker	175	(3)
76. To Be a Good Samaritan, You Must First Get Rid of Pride and Prejudice	178	(2)
77. When God Gets a Hold on You, It's Shake, Rattle, and Rule	180	(2)
78. The Tree, Then the Tomb, Then the Towel: A God-Inspired Sequence on Independence Day	182	(3)
79. If You're Looking for a Sign from Above, Check Out the Son	185	(2)
80. More Than a Water Pot	187	(3)
9. It's Not Christ's Shoes That Are Hard to Fill; It's the Holes in His Hands (Lessons from the Example of Christ)
81. You Can Find Anything at Wal-Mart, Including Elvis and Jesus	190	(3)
82. Does the Command to Love Include Things That Slurp in the Night?	193	(3)
83. When Did Caesar Become a Salad and Jeremiah a bullfrog?	196	(3)
84. There Is Only One Way to God, and It Is Not Milky	199	(2)
85. When It Comes to the Bread of Life, Don't Loaf Around	201	(2)
86. Don't Believe Everything You Hear...or Read	203	(3)
87. If an Elephant Bags a Hunter, Does He Tie Him to His Trunk?	206	(3)
88. A Christian without Joy Is like Pomp without Circumstance	209	(3)
89. Experiencing Hapless Trials but Riding Happy Trails	212	(3)
90. Death of a False Salesman	215	(3)
10. Spending Time with the Holidazed (Lessons from Holidays and Holy Days)
91. God Had a Great Notion-the Birth of the Easter People	218	(3)
92. Duty, Honor, and Above All Really Good Sales Pitch	221	(3)
93. In Search of Thanksgiving	224	(3)
94. Interesting Concept Being Stoned on Valentine's Day	227	(3)
95. The High Cost of Living in the Land of the Free	230	(3)
96. Weary from Making Mountains out of Molehills? Try Reversing the Process	233	(3)
97. Taking God's Name in Vain is Not Always Done with Words	236	(3)
98. We Three Kings of Orient 'R' Us	239	(3)
99. If You Stand at the Manger, You Can See the Cross	242	(3)
100. For Unto YOU a Savior Is Born-Do Not Delete	245