When Life Hands You a Gold Star : A Mother's Journey from Vietnam Through Depression to Victory

by Toler, Jean; Ellis, Linda

• ISBN13: 9780974839196
• ISBN10: 0974839191
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2006-09-17
• Publisher: Power Pub

Summary

One spring afternoon in Indianapolis, Jean Toler glanced through her front window and saw a marine in dress blues walking up to her front door. As many other mothers will remember to their sorrow, the uniform was not a good sign--something was very wrong. Her son, Marine P.F.C. John L. (Bud) Coleman had been killed April 21, 1968, in Quang Tri, Vietnam. Until that time, she had only thought of gold stars as stickers found at the top of a perfect paper. Her ideas about gold stars changed forever when she received the pin from the U.S. government signifying she had lost a child in combat. A few months later Jean was formally inducted into the American Gold Star Mothers organization. As a result of her loss, Jean suffered for years with chronic depression, undergoing many different therapies including psychotherapy and 36 electroshock treatments. She learned over the years that depression is not an enemy who can be vanquished forever, but one who must be dealt with on a daily basis. Today she feels both pride and pain in being a gold star mother. Jean is proud her son Bud had a small part in defending the freedoms of America. Although it was hard, she has gradually accepted her grief. Through the years as Jean searched book stores and libraries to find information that would help her, she found no books regarding gold star mothers. The books concerning parents losing children to death in other ways were helpful to a certain degree, but she believes the death of a child in war is different-not harder or more outstanding than other grief, just different. She began to feel that it was her task in life to share what she had learned about dealing with grief with other gold star mothers. So her book When Life Hands You a Gold Star: A Mother's Journey from Vietnam through Depression to Victory was born from her desire to assist others in understanding and recovering from the feelings of loss and depression they may experience after losing a child in war.

Author Biography

American Gold Star Mother Jean Toler lives in Brownsburg, Indiana, with Paul, her husband of 46 years. She enjoys spending time with her daughter, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren as well as participating in her local church. Jean's interests have included oil painting, Toastmasters, and teaching Bible study classes. Her present challenge is becoming friends with Jezebel, her computer, and finding out how she can use it to enrich her life. Jean has written articles for The Indianapolis Star and Bereavement magazine before writing this book. Her interest in the military continues through the war in Iraq. Her strong desire is to use her experiences as a veteran war mother to assist those now enduring their losses.