When a Man You Love Was Abused

by Murphey, Cecil B.

• ISBN13: 9780825433535
• ISBN10: 0825433533
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2010-04-07
• Publisher: Kregel Pubns

Summary

One in every six males has experienced unwanted or abusive sexual experiences before the age of sixteen. The myriad of lasting effects are as varied as the men themselves and can have a devastating impact on future relationships. Yet while so many must deal with it, few are talking about it. Until now.

Author Biography

Cecil Murphey has written or coauthored more than one hundred books, including the best-selling book Gifted Hands, which has sold more than three million copies; the autobiography of Franklin Graham, Rebel with a Cause; and the New York Time best-seller 90 minutes in Heaven.

Table of Contents

Preface	p. 7
Acknowledgments	p. 9
Introduction: If You're an Important Woman in His Life	p. 11
Who He Is
Who Are the Molested?	p. 17
A Personal Journey	p. 24
Randall Rusher's Story	p. 30
Where Was God?	p. 38
A Theft of Childhood	p. 40
“That Was the Past”	p. 48
Flashbacks and Dreams	p. 57
False Memories?	p. 62
If His Abuser Was a Woman	p. 70
The Effects of Abuse	p. 75
The Inner Abuser	p. 81
Typical Symptoms	p. 92
Male Self-Images	p. 101
Compartmentalizing Himself	p. 108
His Need for Control	p. 112
What About Boundaries?	p. 116
To Feel Again	p. 123
Facing His Abuser	p. 132
Forgiving His Abuser	p. 139
Forgiving Himself	p. 143
Going Public	p. 152
Positive Effects	p. 159
When Is Healing Complete?	p. 162
How You Can Help Him
The Other Victim	p. 167
Accept His Unspeakable Problem	p. 170
Believe Him and Help Him Believe	p. 172
Support His Spiritual Recovery	p. 176
Help Him Honor His Body	p. 179
Accept His Shame	p. 183
Remind Him That You Care	p. 187
Listen, Listen, Listen	p. 190
Pray for Him	p. 200
Respect His Privacy	p. 203
Let Him Mourn	p. 205
Be Honest with Him	p. 208
Pay Attention to His Emotions	p. 210
Don't Let Him Self-Punish	p. 214
Allow His Inconsistencies	p. 219
Be Careful About Touch	p. 223
Don't Push Him to Forgive	p. 227
Let Him Move at His Own Pace	p. 232
Refuse to Let Him Justify the Abuser	p. 237
Encourage Him to Break the Silence	p. 240
Ask Him to Consider Professional Help	p. 242
The Healing Influence of Women	p. 245
Conclusion: He Needs You	p. 255
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