Why We Pick the Mates We Do : A Step by Step Program to Select a Better Partner or Improve the Relationship You Are Already In

by Teachworth, Anne

• ISBN13: 9781889968537
• ISBN10: 1889968536
• Edition: 5th
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 1999-02-01
• Publisher: Gestalt Inst Pr

Summary

A Step-by-step program to select a better partner or improve the relationship you are already in. Presents Anne Teachworth's Psychogenetic Theory of Couple Counseling.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	ix
Foreword	xi
Introduction	1	(4)
Instructions	5	(4)
Accessing Childhood Memories	8	(1)
Family-of-Origin Exercise	9	(2)
On Second Glance	11	(2)
I. THE QUESTION
The Fairy Tale Begins	13	(3)
Marrying For Love	16	(2)
The Search For Prince Or Princess Charming	18	(2)
For Better Or Worse	20	(2)
Single By Choice Or By Chance	22	(2)
Yes, Virginia, There Really Is A Selection Test	24	(2)
From Bad To Worse	26	(2)
Friends And Lovers	28	(2)
Unhappily Ever After	30	(2)
Nothing In Common	32	(3)
II. THE RESEARCH
Perfect Mate Or Perfect Match	35	(2)
Made For Each Other	37	(2)
After The Ball Was Over	39	(2)
Were They In A Bond Or A Bind?	41	(2)
Sex Changes Everything	43	(3)
Love At First Sight	46	(2)
Freudian Slip-Ups	48	(3)
The Inner Child	51	(2)
Picking From The Head	53	(2)
Picking From The Subconscious	55	(2)
III. THE ANSWER
Why Do You Speak English?	57	(3)
Doing What Comes Naturally	60	(2)
Will The Inner Adult Please Stand Up?	62	(4)
Who Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?	66	(5)
You And Your Role Models	71	(2)
As The Twig Is Bent, The Tree Shall Grow	73	(3)
Will The Inner Couple Please Do Something Different?	76	(3)
Watching Home Movies	79	(2)
Voices From The Past	81	(2)
IV. THE PATTERN
It Runs In The Family	83	(3)
Betwixt And Between, It's All On The Screen	86	(4)
Matching Inner Couples	90	(3)
What ``Opposites'' Really Mean	93	(2)
Switching Role Models	95	(3)
Falling In Love	98	(2)
Post-Hypnotic Suggestion	100	(2)
Inner Childhood	102	(3)
Under Stress, We All Regress	105	(3)
How To Find Your Type	108	(3)
V. THE REASON
Why We Select Or Reject	111	(3)
Why Nice Gals Finish Last	114	(4)
History Repeats Itself	118	(2)
Adult Child Of An Addict	120	(2)
Fixing The Past	122	(3)
Back Home Again	125	(1)
What Do You Do When You Don't Know What To Do?	126	(3)
The Power Of Having Emotional Precedents	129	(3)
Quack, Quack, Quack	132	(4)
Pushing Each Other's Buttons	136	(4)
Never Too Late To Have A Happy Marriage	140	(3)
Reprogramming Exercise	143	(3)
VI. THE HISTORY
The Family Drama	146	(5)
That Old Familiar Feeling	151	(4)
Under The Spell	155	(2)
Too Close For Comfort	157	(4)
Coming Out Of Trance	161	(3)
Abused Or Abandoned? Pick One	164	(4)
Lady-In-Waiting	168	(2)
Alternative Role Models	170	(5)
VII. THE HOMEWORK
The Shadow Side	175	(4)
Letting Go Is Hard To Do	179	(3)
Forgiveness Exercise	182	(1)
Changing Memories	183	(5)
Creating False Positive Memories	188	(3)
Opposites Attract, Then Detract	191	(5)
Like Mother, Like Son	196	(3)
Like Mother, Like Daughter	199	(2)
Like Father, Like Son	201	(1)
Like Father, Like Daughter	202	(2)
How Nice Guys Can Finish First	204	(4)
VIII. THE RESULTS
In-Laws Or Outlaws	208	(4)
From Generation To Generation	212	(4)
Second Chance	216	(2)
Re-Imagining A Happy Ending	218	(3)
Wish Fulfillment Exercise	221	(3)
The Perfect Mate	224	(5)
Like Father No More	229	(4)
My Mother Herself	233	(2)
Breaking Up Is Too Easy To Do	235	(3)
They Lived Happily Ever After	238	(3)
IX. THE SOLUTION	241