Women's Best Friendships: Beyond Betty, Veronica, Thelma, and Louise

by Rind; Patricia

• ISBN13: 9780789015396
• ISBN10: 0789015390
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2002-07-11
• Publisher: Routledge

Summary

Explore the distinct relationships of close female friends! Women's Best Friendships: Beyond Betty, Veronica, Thelma, and Louise gives new and comprehensive insight into the complex world of women's closest friendships. Recent studies have shown that women place enormous value on best friendships and consider them to be woven tightly into the fabric of their lives. Using in-depth interviews, along with close readings of relevant literature and theory, this book focuses on the many facets of these relationships. With heartfelt first-person accounts and insightful commentary from the author, this book examines three intertwining themes: feelings of competition, issues of dependence and independence, and knowing/understanding. This book sheds light on areas of tension among women, especially difficulties in communication, frustration about not being entirely let into a friend's life and thought processes, and the feeling that one friend may value the friendship more than the other. It also discusses women's struggles to maintain closeness over increased distances and the realization that one's friends are flawed, even as friends. This informative book, grounded in established research and theory, presents stories of real friendships--told by the people who live them. These women talk candidly about what makes a best friend, about navigating the choppy waters of friendship, and much more: "Somehow, when we started living farther apart there were ways in which we were being insensitive. We recognized that there was a really strong bond, but we were taking it for granted. So we talked about how close we feel to one another and perhaps how that leads to some arguments or hurt feelings." --Liz, on how distance has affected her relationship with her best friend Susan "Em and I don't fight at all. I don't know if that's good or bad. I don't think I do well with fights. I think that's probably a lot of conflict avoidance on my part. And I think it does lead to some distance, even though it's a best friendship. I think I'm uncomfortable asserting myself. And so it's easier not to have to do that. So maybe my inability to deal with the problems keeps the friendship at a distance, where it's safe and comfortable for me, in that one respect." --Linda, about her desire to avoid any confrontation with Emily, her best friend Women's Best Friendships: Beyond Betty, Veronica, Thelma, and Louise is a fresh and exciting look at the inner workings of relationships between women. Drawing upon a multitude of issues and insights, this book is a must-have for women's studies classes.

Author Biography

Patricia Rind, PhD, is a specialist in women's sexuality and psychology

Table of Contents

Preface	ix
Acknowledgments	xv
Introduction	1	(10)
Women and Fiction	2	(3)
My Research Methods	5	(3)
How the Findings Are Presented	8	(1)
What This Book Is Not	9	(2)
Linda	11	(14)
The Story	11	(9)
Further Reflections: Keeping Some Distance	20	(5)
Nancy	25	(16)
The Story	25	(8)
Further Reflections: A Question of Loyalty	33	(8)
Liz	41	(14)
The Story	42	(8)
Further Reflections: Knowing What to Say and When to Say It	50	(5)
``Although Sometimes My Friends Are Competitive, I Don't Think I Ever Am'': Navigating Choppy Waters	55	(18)
Nancy	56	(4)
Linda	60	(3)
Liz	63	(2)
Reflections	65	(8)
Alice	73	(10)
The Story	73	(6)
Further Reflections: Communication Breakdowns	79	(4)
Amy	83	(12)
The Story	84	(7)
Further Reflections: What Makes a Best Friend?	91	(4)
``I Can Count on My Best Friend...Not That I Would'': The Conundrum of Independence versus Dependence	95	(12)
Alice	96	(2)
Linda	98	(3)
Nancy	101	(2)
Reflections	103	(4)
Deb	107	(10)
The Story	108	(6)
Further Reflections: A Different Kind of Friendship	114	(3)
Denise	117	(10)
The Story	118	(6)
Further Reflections: Are All Best Friends Considered Equal?	124	(3)
``They're Both People Who Truly Know Me'': A Need Fulfilled	127	(18)
``They've Seen Me Through a Lot of Changes''	128	(2)
``They're Very Attuned to My Feelings''	130	(3)
``They Don't Just Know Me, They Understand Me''	133	(2)
``She Knows What Would Happen If I Did That''	135	(1)
Deb	136	(3)
Reflections	139	(6)
Conclusion	145	(8)
Appendix A. Transcript versus Poem	153	(2)
Appendix B. Nancy Poem 1	155	(6)
Appendix C. Nancy Poem 2	161	(6)
Appendix D. Liz Poem	167	(4)
Notes	171	(4)
Bibliography	175	(6)
Index	181