The Xenophobe's® Guide to the Welsh

by John Winterson Richards

• ISBN13: 9781902825465
• ISBN10: 1902825462
• Format: Trade Paper
• Copyright: 1999-04-01
• Publisher: Oval Books

Summary

Highlights the unique character and behavior of the nation. Frank, irreverent, funny--almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

Author Biography

John Winterson Richards has Welsh parents and was born in Cardiff, the capital of Wales, in no less a place than Saint David’s Hospital.

Despite this most promising start, he turned out badly. It was soon discovered that he possessed a singing voice that would offend a frog, he enjoyed drinking French red wines even when beer was available, and the nicest thing ever said about his attempt to turn himself into a tolerably mediocre loose-head prop forward was that his ‘enthusiasm for rugby greatly exceeds his skill’. Obviously he was unfit for the company of civilised people. He was therefore exiled to England.

Whilst suffering this, the greatest punishment that can be inflicted on any Welshman, he got himself educated and studied to become a lawyer (being too lazy for medicine and completely unsuited for the Church). Living with the English for several years so broadened his mind that he became a rabid Welsh nationalist.

Finally overcome with hiraeth, he returned home and set up a management consultancy with the aim of bringing enterprise and prosperity to his fellow countrymen. Since few of them appear to be interested in enterprise or prosperity, he has had only limited success to date. This is probably just as well: had he actually succeeded, he would have caused far more offence than his singing ever did.

Table of Contents

Nationalism and Identity	p. 5
Behaviour	p. 11
Manners	p. 16
Character	p. 18
Beliefs and Values	p. 23
Obsessions	p. 31
Leisure and Pleasure	p. 32
Culture	p. 38
Custom and Tradition	p. 42
Crime and Punishment	p. 47
Business	p. 48
Systems	p. 51
Health and Hygiene	p. 53
Government and Bureaucracy	p. 55
Conversation and Gestures	p. 58
Language	p. 61
Table of Contents provided by Syndetics. All Rights Reserved.

Excerpts

Welsh wilfullness
The Welsh are stubborn - very, very stubborn. The Welsh themselves would probably rather say 'tenacious', but to anyone on the receiving end a better description might well be 'bloody-minded'.

Proud and proud of it
Welsh pride is real pride - the sort of mindless, instinctive, animal pride that requires no justification or excuse. It is simply pride for the sake of pride. Such pride is the only thing one has left when one has been stripped of everything else.

It's not unusual to be ... an actor
Given the propensity of Welsh people of all types to overact at every given opportunity, it is not surprising that those who manage to tone it down a bit have gone on to world fame as actors (or politicians, who are, after all, only an inferior species of actors).

Warriors at heart
The Welsh are extremely proficient at rugby. They enjoy it and they take it seriously. This is because rugby - with its physical aggression, tactics, disciplined use of brute force and organised violence - is the closest thing modern day life can offer to Wales' traditional national sport: war.

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Excerpted from The Xenophobe's Guide to the Welsh by John Winterson Richards
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.