Summary

It's easy to recognize a strong-willed child. Difficult to discipline, at times impossible to motivate, strong-willed children present unique, frustrating, and often exhausting challenges to those who care for them. But now, the miracle parents long for can happen. Offering new hope, achievable goals, and a breath of fresh air to families and teachers, Cynthia Tobias explains how the mind of a strong-willed child works - and how to use that information to the child's best advantage. From the Hardcover edition.

Author Biography

Cynthia TobiaS received her master's degree from Seattle Pacific University. Her successful background includes twenty-five years of private practice, eight years of teaching high school, and six years in law enforcement. The best-selling author of eight books, she is the busy mother of twin college-age sons. Cynthia and her husband live in the Seattle area.

Introduction to the Revised Edition: Here's Howl Know It Works!	p. 1
Defining the Strong-Willed Child
"Who Qualifies as a Strong-Willed Child?: How Can You Be Sure It's Not Just Stubbornness?	p. 7
Howls the Strong-Willed Child Wired?: Do You Know What We're Thinking?	p. 23
How to Bring Out the Best in a Strong-Willed Child
How Can I Turn Conflict into Cooperation?: Five Proven Strategies to Help You Both Thrive	p. 41
What About the Line Between Right and Wrong?: How to Keep the SWC Accountable While Still Valuing Uniqueness	p. 69
So What's the Big Deal About School?: Great Infirmationfir Helping an SWC Succeed in School	p. 83
How Can I Help a Strong-Willed Child Find the Right Career?: Guiding SWCs Toward Using Their Strengths in the Future	p. 103
How to Bring Out the Best in Tough Situations
How Can I Survive a Meltdown?: A Strong-Willed Child Emergency Kit	p. 119
How Do I Keep My Strong-Willed Child from Pulling Our Family Apart?: Strategies fir Parents Who Disagree, Blended Families, and Single Parents	p. 127
When Should I Do Something Drastic?: Recognizing Signs of Serious Trouble	p. 141
Is It Too Late to Restore a Relationship with My Strong-Willed Child?: Insights fir Reaching an SWC Who Doesn't Want to Be Reached	p. 153
Epilogue: Start Right Where You Are	p. 169
Top Ten Tips for Bringing Out the Best in an SWC of Any Age	p. 171
A LastWord	p. 173
Acknowledgments	p. 174
Notes	p. 175
Recommended Resources	p. 176
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

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Excerpts

Introduction to the Revised Edition
Here’s How I Know It Works!

My very own strong-willed child, Mike, came bursting through the door with his usual force and energy. He was fresh from yet another week of being a counselor at a summer YMCA camp. I marveled at how quickly the years have passed and here he was—twenty years old and about to enter his junior year in college. Could it possibly be?

“Mom, I have to tell you something.”

I’ve learned to appreciate every opportunity to talk about his life, so I stopped what I was doing and listened.

“The camp kids were driving me crazy. I was so frustrated, I was ready to scream.” He paused and put his finger in the air to make a pronouncement. “So, I decided I’d better read one of your books.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Which book did you read, Mike?” He shrugged and grinned. “You Can’t Make Me.” Before I
could react he rushed on. “And you know what? It works!" I wasn’t prepared for this. Was this my strong-willed child,
who appears in every chapter of the book, telling me he was now using it to understand the kids he was counseling at
camp?

For the next twenty minutes Mike regaled me with examples he had read in the book, emphasizing the strategies he had used successfully with his campers. We reminisced over stories from the book that he remembered and laughed about the ones he had forgotten or was too young to recall.

Since the first edition ofYou Can’t Make Me! (But I Can Be Persuaded)came out in 1999, literally thousands of parents and educators have taken the time to actually write or personally deliver overwhelmingly positive and grateful responses to the powerful and effective strategies in the book. I’ve been humbled and encouraged to see the hope in their eyes and hear the joy in their voices.

But I have to tell you, by far the most meaningful endorsement I could ask for is the one from Mike. After twenty years of living with and loving my strong-willed child, after the prayers and tears, trial and error, perseverance and frustration, failure and success, he is reading and endorsing the book that describes him as the quintessential strong-willed kid.

So as you read this revised and updated version ofYou Can’t Make Me, believe me when I say I’m still in the trenches with you. I’ve parented a great strong-willed child and his equally wonderful but more compliant twin brother. I will never be able to make the claim I did everything right. Far from it! I am eternally grateful that God has been gracious in supplementing my well-intentioned and often inadequate efforts with His grace, love, and wisdom.

My fervent prayer is that you will benefit from the wisdom and advice of the many strong-willed children and their parents you are about to meet in this book. Most of all, no matter how things turn out, I pray you will be glad you never gave up on the relationship with your strong-willed child. You’ll never be able to truly measure the difference it will make.