7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence reveals the structure behind Emotional Intelligence (El), utilising its unique framework to combine El and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). This model-based guide packed with powerful exercises and self-assessment techniques, enables you to design your own Emotional Quotient (EQ) improvement system, and to participate in an intensive EQ excellence course that draws on the self-programming practices of NLP. A functionally-formatted guide to improving your EQ, this book serves as a textbook of El theory, a manual of NLP techniques, and a workbook to systematically lead you through the process of dynamic EQ improvement.

Acknowledgments

i

Foreword

iii

A walk through this book---How to use this manual

1

(4)

Introduction

5

(16)

What is Intelligence?

6

(6)

The Presuppositions Used in This Book

12

(9)

Emotions 101: Understanding the Power of Emotions

21

(320)

Managing Your Emotional Budget

21

(4)

Emotions, Health and Well-being

25

(6)

Managing Your Emotions

31

(44)

Introduction: A Plea for Self-management

32

(3)

The Intertwining of Emotions and Experience

35

(11)

Association/Dissociation

46

(12)

Cases

58

(10)

Exercises for this Lesson

68

(7)

Levels in Experience and Communication

75

(42)

Introduction: The Levels of Your Functioning

76

(1)

Basic Model of the Neurological Levels of Experience

77

(12)

The Meaning of Emotions

89

(10)

The Power of Emotional Beliefs

99

(2)

Applying Logical Levels to Enhance your Emotional Intelligence

101

(6)

Appendix to Lesson 2: The Theory Behind The Model

107

(3)

Exercises for this Lesson

110

(7)

Planning for Success

117

(40)

Introduction: Models for Effectiveness

118

(2)

The TOTE Model: The Structure of Flexible Plans

120

(22)

Conclusion: Some Tips for Emotional Development

142

(1)

Application 1: Sharing Goals with Others

143

(3)

Application 2: Expectations and the Structure of Happiness

146

(6)

Exercises for this Lesson

152

(5)

Learn How You Perceive the World and Be in Charge of What Makes You Tick

157

(66)

Introduction

158

(1)

Representation Systems: How Do People Construct Their Internal World?

159

(12)

Submodalities: How You Format Your Own Reality

171

(6)

EQ and the Application of the Structure of Subjective Experience

177

(6)

Conclusion: Realizing the Structure of Your Subjective Experience

183

(1)

Meta-Programs: The Filters in Your Thoughts

184

(27)

Conclusion: Patterns in Your Emotions

211

(3)

Exercises for this Lesson

214

(9)

Emotional Intelligence in Company

223

(32)

Perceptual Positions: Empathy for Yourself and for Others

224

(10)

Projection: What Irritation Can Teach You about Yourself

234

(2)

A Model for a Qualitative Co-operation

236

(5)

Look at Your Relationship from a Different Perspective

241

(4)

Interacting Socially: How Do You Bring Emotion into Your Communication?

245

(5)

Exercises for this Lesson

250

(5)

Asking the Right Questions

255

(44)

A Counter-example: What NOT to Do

256

(1)

Introduction

257

(5)

The Basic Model: Three Traffic Rules for ``Good Questions''

262

(8)

The Meta-Model: Questions for Dealing with Emotions

270

(18)

Exercises for this Lesson

288

(11)

Successfully Interact with Yourself and Others

299

(42)

Introduction: Mastery in Building and Maintaining Relationships

300

(3)

The Art of Calibration: What You Can Learn from Body Language

303

(8)

Achieve Rapport with Yourself

311

(2)

Getting into Rapport with Someone's Thoughts and Experience

313

(1)

Rapport with Others: How to Achieve It

313

(5)

How Do You Know You've Got Rapport?

318

(4)

Levels of Rapport

322

(4)

Applications

326

(7)

Conclusion: Observation Skills as Key Elements for Emotional Intelligence

333

(3)

Exercises for this Lesson

336

(5)

Conclusions: Making Connections, Gaining in Emotional Wisdom

341

(12)

New Emotional Abilities

341

(3)

Making a Full Model of Competence

344

(6)

Some Final Exercises

350

(3)

Recapitulation

353

(6)

Moving beyond Emotional Intelligence

353

(3)

Conclusion: From Emotional Intelligence to Emotional Wisdom

356

(3)

14 day program: A ``to do'' list for the next fortnight

359

(2)

Bibliography and Further Reading

361

(8)

Overview of the Neurolinguistic literature

361

(5)

Other References for This Workbook

366

(2)

The Internet

368

(1)

Solutions to the exercises in this book

369

(16)

Appendix 1: Neuro-Linguistic Programming

371

(6)

Appendix 2: Meta-Programs in Recruiting and Management

377

(6)

Appendix 3: Integral Perspectives Group

383

(2)

Glossary

385

(6)

Index

391

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7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence

9781899836505

1899836500

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