9780805060249

A Jungian psychoanalyst and bestselling author offers a new paradigm for creating fulfilling relationships that helps readers recognize and discard the outdating traditional methods of relating they inherited from their parents.

Guy Corneau is a Jungian analyst, a lecturer, and an internationally bestselling author. He lives in Montreal, Canada.

Acknowledgments	p. xv
Introduction	p. xix
Tea for Two . . .	p. xix
Love at War	p. xxi
Happiness Is . . .	p. xxii
Inventing Intimacy	p. xxii
Psychological Musing Is Not Dogma	p. xxiv
Love at Peace	p. xxv
Love at War	p. 3
Sofa Tactics	p. 3
The Woman	p. 3
The Man	p. 4
The Burden of a Dream	p. 6
The Couple Has Become a Battlefield	p. 8
A Teetering Patriarchy	p. 8
Patriarchy Exists in Each of Us	p. 9
Toward a New Intimacy	p. 11
On Being Born A Man or A Woman	p. 13
The Concept of Identity	p. 13
The Essence of Being Human	p. 13
The Formation of the Ego	p. 15
On Becoming Oneself	p. 16
The Development of Complexes	p. 18
Parental Complexes	p. 19
The Ego Is Also a Complex	p. 21
We Project Parts of Ourselves onto Others	p. 22
Loving Oneself	p. 23
Love of Self Is a Condition for Psychological Balance	p. 23
From Almightiness to Self-Esteem	p. 25
One-Eye, Two-Eyes, Three-Eyes	p. 29
Identity and Sexual Difference	p. 33
Sexual Identity Is a Psychological Construction	p. 33
What Is the Role of the Same-Sex Parent Regarding the Child?	p. 34
What Is the Role of the Opposite-Sex Parent Regarding the Child?	p. 35
The Ordeal of Sexual Differentiation	p. 36
Animus and Anima	p. 38
The Better Half	p. 38
What Do the Animus and the Anima Look Like?	p. 40
The Collective Aspect of the Archetype	p. 41
Woman in Man, Man in Woman	p. 43
Family Triangle or Infernal Triangle?	p. 46
The Family Portrait	p. 46
The Child Is Not a Blank Page	p. 49
Fathers and Daughters: Love in Silence	p. 53
The Silent Father	p. 53
Prisoners of Stereotypes	p. 53
Love in Silence	p. 55
A Vacuum to Fill	p. 56
Idealizing the Father	p. 56
A Dark Destiny	p. 57
The Wounded Woman	p. 59
The Handless Maiden	p. 59
The Incestuous Father	p. 64
The Incest Wish	p. 67
Emotional Incest	p. 68
The Prudish Father	p. 69
Daughters of Silence	p. 72
The Eternal Adolescents	p. 73
The Amazons	p. 76
The Feminine Wishes to Blossom	p. 80
Mother-Daughter	p. 82
A Love-Hate Relationship	p. 82
The Idealized Absentee	p. 84
The Man and the Woman in the Living Room	p. 86
Healing The Father Wound	p. 88
The Drama of the Good Girl	p. 88
Sleeping Beauty	p. 89
Legitimate Anger	p. 93
Healing Self-Esteem	p. 97
Renouncing Misogyny	p. 98
Giving an Expression to the Animus	p. 101
Imagining the Beauty of the Feminine	p. 103
Mother And Son: The Impossible Couple	p. 105
The Mother-Son Couple	p. 105
A Psychological Drama	p. 105
On Becoming a Mother	p. 108
On Not Knowing Where One Begins and Where the Other Ends	p. 110
The Trouble Is . . . the Father Is Not Around	p. 112
The Mother-Son Marriage	p. 113
The Devoured Son	p. 114
The Devoured Mother!	p. 115
All Marriages Have a Contract	p. 117
Separation Is Prohibited	p. 118
Puberty, or the Open War	p. 121
Puberty Is a Second Birth	p. 123
The Antihero or the Aborted Birth	p. 124
The Right Boundaries	p. 127
The Price Of Emotional Incest	p. 130
The Dowry and the Debt	p. 130
Basic Needs	p. 130
I Did Everything to Please Her . . . I Was Desperate to Please Her!	p. 132
What Sons Inflict on Mothers	p. 135
I Love-Hate You!	p. 136
Holy Mother, Virgin, and Martyr	p. 138
Boy Meets Man: Sperm Secretions	p. 139
"Those Damned Men"	p. 142
The Triumph of Austerity	p. 144
Guilt	p. 144
The Man with the Fork	p. 144
The Maternal Shadow	p. 146
The Narcissistic Wound	p. 147
Suicidal at Eight Years Old	p. 149
Overprotective Mother, Dependent Son	p. 152
Maternal Violence	p. 157
The Serpent's Power	p. 158
What We Fear Is a Feature of Our Own Selves	p. 161
The Weight of Sighs	p. 162
The Drama Of The Good Boy	p. 165
Santa Sangre, the Holy Blood	p. 165
The Dusty Heart of the Good Boy	p. 168
The Gates of Hell	p. 171
The Sin Against Self	p. 173
The Psychological Dynamics of the Good Boy	p. 176
You Are Not Separated! You Are Not Free!	p. 178
The Anger of the Good Boy	p. 179
Choosing the Worse of Two Evils	p. 181
Reflections On The Role Of The Mother	p. 185
The Mother-Son Divorce	p. 185
Why Is the Separation Between Mother and Son Important?	p. 185
The Mother-Son Divorce: A Sacrifice	p. 186
When Children Become Encrusted	p. 190
When the Children Are Gone	p. 192
The Single Mother: Squaring the Circle	p. 193
Absent Father, Lost Son . . .?	p. 193
Taking a Break Now and Then	p. 194
Allowing the Son to Resemble His Father	p. 195
On Being Careful of How We Speak of the Father	p. 196
Above All Else: The Child's Welfare	p. 197
I Did It My Way . . .	p. 198
Trusting One's Children	p. 198
Reconciliation	p. 200
Love In Distress	p. 204
From Sofa Tactics to Bedroom Blockades	p. 204
The Reign of Repetitions	p. 204
Living in a Couple Is Not an Obligation	p. 205
The Woman	p. 206
The Man	p. 206
Run Away from Me, I'll Follow You! Follow Me, I'll Run Away!	p. 210
The Fear of Commitment	p. 212
Never Make Your . . . Partner . . . Cry!	p. 212
Contempt for Women	p. 215
Forced Sexuality	p. 216
"I'm Sorry, But It Excites Me When I Caress You!"	p. 217
The Toothed Vagina	p. 218
The Panic Signal	p. 219
The Voyeur Who Closed His Eyes	p. 221
The Triumph of the Spirit of Seriousness (bis)	p. 223
How Men Try to Master Their Fear of Women	p. 224
The Need for Romance	p. 226
Why the Couple Is So Important for Women	p. 226
Speak to Me of Love	p. 227
This Ink Is My Blood . . .	p. 228
The Meaning of Romance	p. 230
The Practice of Systematic Error	p. 230
The Guessing Game	p. 231
The Difficulty of Communicating Clearly	p. 232
The War of the Sexes	p. 234
Creating Infantile Men	p. 234
The Murder of the Patriarch	p. 235
Women's Strength, Men's Fragility	p. 237
The Rise of the Amazons	p. 241
The Excessiveness of the Goddesses	p. 243
Every Heart . . . to Love Will Come	p. 244
Life Is Perfect	p. 246
Love In Joy	p. 247
Love's Labor	p. 247
"Falling in Love" Is Not the Same as Entering a Relationship	p. 247
The Narcissistic Stage of Love	p. 248
Love Is Like a Battle	p. 250
Love with a Capital "L"	p. 251
The Vital Breath of the Couple	p. 253
Are We Able to Tolerate Living Without Controlling Someone Else?	p. 255
Infidelity	p. 256
To Love As Friends	p. 258
Things Get Better when They Go Wrong	p. 259
The Psychological Marriage Contract	p. 261
A Liberating Relationship Is Based on a Conscious Choice	p. 261
The Couple We Dream About	p. 263
The Importance of Sensual Games	p. 263
We Needed the Crisis	p. 265
Intimacy With Oneself	p. 267
Healthy Intimacy Begins at Home	p. 267
The Meaning of Difficulties	p. 270
The Broken Mirror	p. 272
Communication Is Indispensable for Living	p. 274
Confronting the Shadow	p. 276
Peace for the Soul and Joy for the Heart	p. 280
The Path Is Joy	p. 282
Conclusion	p. 285
Love Is Not a Relationship; It Is a State	p. 285
We Are Free to Destroy Ourselves	p. 287
The Best Way to Be Happy	p. 288
Epilogue	p. 289
Endnotes	p. 291
Sources	p. 301
Table of Contents provided by Syndetics. All Rights Reserved.

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Lessons in Love : The Transformation of Spirit Through Intimacy

0805060243

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