Whose Number Is Up, Anyway?

Literally, he's had it for every hour of the day for as long as Teddi's known him. So it's no coincidence that minutes after Teddi stumbles accidentally on a corpse in the deep freeze at King Kullen, Detective Dreamboat is back on the scene. Her supermarket snob (among other things) of a mother will never let her hear the end of it. Nor will Drew, who has told Teddi time and again she's got to stop messing with murder scenes. Until Teddi goes from material witness to potential next victim... But the woman whose smarmy ex dubbed her "Long Island's Most Dangerous Decorator" isn't going down without a fight. Or going down alone. Not when she's got an oh-so-irritating, way-too-irresistible cop watching her every move...

Before redecorating a room, I always advise my clients to empty it of everything but one chair. Then I suggest they move that chair from place to place, sitting in it, until the placement feels right. Trust your instincts when deciding on furniture placement. Your room should "feel right."--TipsFromTeddi.comGut feelings. You know, that gnawing in the pit of your stomach that warns you that you are about to do the absolute stupidest thing you could do. Something that will ruin life as you know it.I've got one now, standing at the butcher counter in King Kullen, the grocery store in the same strip mall as L.I. Lanes, the bowling alleycumbilliard parlor I'm in the process of redecorating for its "Grand Opening."I realize being in the wrong supermarket probably doesn't sound exactly dire to you, but you aren't the one buying your father a brisket at a store your mother will somehow know isn't Waldbaum's.But then, June Bayer isn't your mother.The woman behind the counter has agreed to go into the freezer to find a brisket for me since there aren't any in the case. There are packages of pork tenderloins, piles of spareribs and rolls of sausage, but no briskets.Warning number two, right? I should so be out of here. But no, I'm still in the same spot when she comes back out,brisketless,her face ashen. She opens her mouth like she is going to scream, but only a gurgle comes out.And then she pinballs out from behind the counter, knocking bottles of Peter Luger Steak Sauce to the floor on her way, hitting the tower of cans at the end of the preparedfoods aisle and sending them sprawling, making her way down the aisle, careening from side to side as she goes.Finally, from the distance, I hear her shout. "He's deeeeeeaaaad! Joey's deeeeeaaaad."My first thought is,you should always trust your gut.My second thought is that now my mother will know I was in King Kullen. For weeks I will have to hear "What did you expect?" as though whenever you go to King Kullen someone turns up dead. And if the detective investigating the case turns out to be Detective Drew Scoones...well, I'll never hear the end of that from her, either.Several people head for the butcher's freezer and I position myself to block them. If there's one thing I've learned from finding people dead--and this guy is not my first--it's that the police get very testy when you mess with their murder scenes."You can't go in there until the police get here," I say, stationing myself at the end of the butcher's counter and in front of the Employees Only door, acting like I'm some sort of authority. "You'll contaminate the evidence if it turns out to be murder."Shouts and chaos. You'd think I'd know better than to throw the wordmurderaround. Cell phones are flipping open and tongues are wagging.I amend my statement quickly. "Which, of course, it probably isn't. Murder, I mean. People die all the time and it's not always in hospitals or their own beds, or..." I babble when I'm nervous and the idea of someone dead on the other side of the freezer door makes me very nervous.So does the idea of seeing Drew Scoones again. Drew and I have this on-again, off-again sort of thing...that I kind of turned off.Who knew he'd take it so personally when he tried to get serious and I responded by saying we could talk aboutustomorrow--and then caught a plane to my parents condo in Boca the next day? In July. In the middle of a job.For some crazy reason, he took that to mean that I was avoiding him and the subject ofus.That was three months ago. I haven't seen him since. The manager, who identifies himself and points to his name tag in case I don't believe him, says he has to go intohis cooler."Maybe Joey's not dead," he says. "Maybe he can be saved, and you're letting him die in there. Did you ever think of that?"In fact, I hadn't. But I